Continuation of Midnight Sun
by Thunder's Blade
Summary: This is Midnight Sun where Stephenie Meyer left off. A look inside Edward's head in Twilight. Shows the teenager inside him. A little bit different from what you would originally think of him. Please review!
1. From Where Stephenie the Great Left Off

I was nearly giddy with anticipation as I pulled my Volvo into her driveway. I sat in there and soon enough, she came out.

My personal angel.

She seemed hesitant, somehow, as she approached the car, but there was a glimmer of happiness in her eyes. Her beautiful face took my breath away.

I saw something that worried me, though – her eyes looked tired, and there were shadows under them.

Her hand was on the door, and as she pulled the door open, I braced myself for that punch of dry, flaming thirst to come.

As she stepped in the car, all I could think of was the taste…of her _blood_. I couldn't keep myself from looking at her wrists, her neck, anywhere where her blood flowed. I forced myself to take a deep breath, over and over and over again. Gradually, the pain deadened. It was as if I'd been through so much of that pain that I would gradually grow numb to it.

I stared intently into her eyes. They were clear and bottomless, as always. Beautiful.

"Good morning," I murmured. "How are you today?"

She looked slightly taken aback at my formal question. "Good, thank you," she replied, just as formally.

I sighed gently. "You look tired." My eyes darted to the shadows under her eyes.

Her hair hung naturally between us, as a cover for her face. "I couldn't sleep."

That irritated me. I needed to look at her face, gaze upon my love. Moving quickly, I tucked her hair back behind her ear. "Neither could I."

She grinned. "I guess that's right," she chuckled. "I suppose I slept just a _little_ bit more than you did."

I smiled; I naturally wrapped my arm around her shoulders. "I'd wager you did."

She leaned into my arm. The scent of her hair, so sweet and alluring and tempting, distracted me momentarily.

"So…what did you do last night?" She referred to my vampire antics as if they were next to normal.

"Not a chance; it's my day to ask questions," I reminded her.

"Oh, that's right." She sounded disappointed. "What do you want to know?"

I hadn't really prepared for that…"What's your favorite color?"

Her eyes rolled. "It changes from day to day," she said dismissively.

"What's your favorite color today?" I persisted.

"Probably…brown."

What?

"Brown?"

"Sure…brown is warm," she admitted, leaning closer to me. "I miss brown. Everything that's supposed to be brown, tree trunks, rocks, dirt, is all covered up with squashy green stuff here."

My head rested on her hair gently. I could see what she meant. Her dark brown hair, with strands of beautiful red…I tilted up her face so that I could stare into her eyes. They melted my terminated heart. "You're right, brown is warm," I agreed. I stroked her hair and smoothed it behind her shoulder.

"What music is in your CD player right now?" I wondered what kind of music she liked.

Her answer made me smile – a girl who liked Debussy…liked this? I swiftly reached up into my CD holder and produced the same CD that she'd named.

"Debussy…to this?" I asked, my eyebrow raised.

For the rest of the day, I asked about her as often as I could. The two replies that stuck with me the most were her favorite gemstone – topaz, because of my eye color, and I simply was at a loss for words. The other one was her favorite flower. She preferred roses or lilies. I filed that tidbit of information away in my brain, for future reference.

It was torture to have to sit through that one class with Bella and stay away from her again. I hated having to move away from her in an effort to not reach over and perhaps go too fast into our relationship. I could tell that she felt the same way, but I wasn't about to reach over and touch her. I glanced over at her, and quickly looked away again, for her eyes were tempting. I couldn't keep my hands to myself if I was to be distracted by her like this.

When the bell rang, I stood up quietly and waited for her. I could feel the waves of pure fury coming from the vile vermin, that Newton boy, behind me. I walked her over to the gym again, and I reached over to touch her again. I ran my fingers over her face, reveling in the warmth, ignoring the pain of her blood, until I had to leave.

All through Spanish, I kept wondering about her. My thoughts were tortured; what if she injured herself? What if Newton….

As soon as the bell rang, and as soon as I walked away from the classroom, I made my way down to the gym. I knew that she would be changing, so I forced myself to be patient…storming the girls' locker room wasn't such a good idea.

At last, she came out.

She had a radiant smile on her face when she came to me, and unthinkingly, I touched her soft, warm hand. We went into my car, and I continued to ask her questions.

I tried another set of questions, regarding her more personal life. I wanted to see what her mind was _really_ like, what she'd missed from Phoenix, what she'd thought about.

"Tell me about Phoenix," I urged. "You evidently think often about your mother and the place you left…I want to know…what it was like, living there."

"Oh. Phoenix was, well…lovely," she murmured, and a blush immediately colored her face.

"How so?" I prompted.

As she described it to me, I leaned back in contentment. I could sit like this forever, listening to the sound of her voice, staring into her eyes.

After a while, I moved on to other subjects, like what she thought of Forks, and how life with Charlie was like.

Speak of the devil, and the devil shall appear. I could hear his thoughts long before I picked up the sound of his cruiser. _Slow day today…no one got hurt, nothing happened, no car was speeding…ugh. I'm starving._

"Are you finished?" asked Bella, a look of concern in her eyes. I realized that I had trailed off into silence.

I sighed; I didn't particularly want to stay away from her for any length of time.

"Not even close, but your father will be home. Soon."

She pulled herself up. "Charlie! How late is it?" she asked, with a trace of panic.

I glanced up at the sky. The sun was making it's journey down the sky by degrees. "It's twilight," I answered, feeling somewhat unhappy as I said the word. My eyes flashed back to her face. "It's the safest time of day for us. The easiest time – but also the saddest, in a way. The end of another day…the return of the night…darkness is so predictable, don't you think?" I smiled gently at her.

"I like the night," she whispered. "Without the dark, we'd never see the stars. Not that you see them _here_ much," she added.

I chuckled. "Charlie will be here in a few minutes," I reminded her. "So…unless you want to tell him that you'll be with me Saturday...."

She shuddered. The movement sent fresh waves of her scent in my face, and I stiffened. Relax, relax, I reminded myself. You won't kill her. You can get over this. "Thanks, but no thanks. So, is it my turn tomorrow, then?" she asked.

I pretended to be shocked. "Certainly not! I told you I wasn't done, didn't I?"

She groaned and flopped back onto the seat. Charlie was getting closer…I stifled a laugh when I saw images of lasagna and fried fish and other distasteful-to-me, delicious-to-humans food.

"What more is there?" she asked, freeing me from Charlie's thoughts.

"You'll find out tomorrow," I told her mysteriously. I reached over to open her door, and I could feel her body as my hand grazed gently on her skin. Her heart jumped and stuttered at an extremely quick tempo.

And then I heard _them_.

The scent reached my nostrils as soon as I was aware of their thoughts.

_What did Bella do this week? I hope she's not going out with the guys from her high school…._

I nearly growled at the young one.

The older one's thoughts were slightly more bearable. _I hope that she knows the risks of being with one of…one of…._

Okay, so maybe not.

"Not good," I whispered. If they found me here…with a human….

She seemed puzzled. "What is it?" she inquired.

I looked down into her eyes deeply. They were bottomless, clear, and perfectly trusting. I couldn't hide this from her. "Another complication."

Nearly kicking Bella out of the door, not minding how much the separation was hurting me, I leaned away from her and skidded down the driveway. "Charlie's around the corner!" I called to her out my window.

I could see the Ford now. The young one's thoughts were still as lustful, and the old one's thoughts matched the expression in his eyes. Pure hatred.

Leaving as quickly as I could seemed to be a good idea. Casting one more glance at the Blacks, I headed right back to my home. I would see Bella later.

How could she be so annoying?

And why did Jasper allow this to happen?

"Why do you have to bug me with Bella's future, Alice?" I demanded, through tightly clenched teeth. My irritation was perfectly rational; did I really _want_ to see what would happen to my love when in a year? Alice was showing me little flashes of information – most of which would never happen – and it was setting my teeth on edge. The most hilarious of all: one of the flashes showed me breaking up with Bella. That just had me on the floor, cracking up. Why – how – could I leave my life?

That was what Bella was.

My life. My soul. My being.

Alice stared at me innocently. "No one said you had to read my thoughts," she defended herself.

I groaned. "Please! You know perfectly well that you can block me out anytime you want! Do it! Now!"

Her thoughts transformed into "I'm a little teacup" in eleven languages.

Well, that was better than what I saw.

"Oh, and Alice, I'm going to spend Saturday with Bella. I need to go hunting tomorrow."

"No problem." She was still out of it.

"Do you think it's late enough?" I asked Carlisle, looking at the black sky.

He placed a hand on my shoulder comfortingly. _Must you really go, son?_

"Carlisle, you know I can't live without seeing her. I _have_ to go."

"Yes, it is late enough. She should be asleep at the moment."

Having a doctor in a houseful of vampires was so convenient sometimes; I had no idea how many hours that an average teenage human spent sleeping, or when a normal bedtime was for a high school student.

"I'll be back around six," I told Carlisle. Alice's eyes were still faraway, and now my mind was replaying nursery rhymes in Latin.

Great.

I told myself to forget all this. Soon I would be in her bedroom, gazing on her face, and everything would be fine.

The wind on my face, my hair, was routine, but still pleasant. I dreamt of having her on my back, or in my arms, as I ran.

As I arrived at the Chief's house, my heart had that strange feeling that I had every time I was around Bella. Something like….

Love.

Human emotions were a bit too much for my dead heart. I hadn't loved anyone, I hadn't been _in_ love with anyone, ever. Now the muscle in my chest was full of strange, yet pleasant, emotions.

Scaling the tree silently was no big task now. I could do this in my sleep. Hilarious, I thought.

And then I was looking at her.

I couldn't help it. The warmth, the delicious aroma, the waves of emotion that reached at me from her, were too much to bear.

It was beyond frustrating to not know her thoughts. If only I could know what she was dreaming about!

"Edward," she whispered.

My eyes immediately snapped to her face. She was still sleeping.

"Mmm…come here…Edward…." Her voice was nearly inaudible, but I could understand.

"Don't leave."

Silently, I was at her side. Hesitantly, I reached out my hand to lay it on hers. She took it between both of hers and laid it on her face.

Ah…the warmth. I took the most daring step yet. As I took a deep breath that already burned, I leaned my face to her neck.

All I could see was red. Everything I was aware of was so Bella. My hand shook as I pulled myself away from her – another second and I would be…feeding from her.

"No," she whispered. "Edward, don't leave. Stay with me."

She reached for my hand again. Idiotically, I pulled her wrist up to my face and took a deep breath. I breathed steadily in and out. Again and again.

With every breath, it was more bearable.

I bent down to press my lips ever so softly against her soft, warm forehead. The blood pulsing beneath my lips as nearly irresistible. But I pulled myself away.

It was a long night.

The next morning, I timed my arrival nicely. As soon as Chief Swan was gone, I was parked in the driveway. I waited patiently to see her again; the times that I saw her simply weren't enough. I needed her. Every hour, every day.

As she appeared, her step quickened, as if she was eager to see me too. After she sat down in the passenger seat, her eyes met mine, and she smiled.

I had to make a conscious effort to stop my voice from shaking. "How did you sleep?" I asked, smiling back.

"Fine," she murmured. "How was your night?"

I thought about seeing her, hearing her whisper my name, asking me not to leave…. "Pleasant," I replied, my smile wider.

She chuckled. "Can I ask what you did?"

"No, today is still mine," I answered, leaning slightly toward her.

I cleared topic after topic on my list. I asked about her family, how she felt about her mother, and basically, anything I could think of.

Throughout the school day, I came up with endless questions to ask her. Sitting at our cafeteria table, it was hard for me not to touch her. It was just too intimate. She was sitting right across from me, facing me, and she was picking at her food as if she was disturbed by it.

This was embarrassing. I knew it as soon as I thought of the question. But it was so frustrating, not to know her mind. "Have you…dated anyone before?" I asked awkwardly, unsure as to how she would respond.

Her cheeks flushed, a delicate, tempting shade. "No…not before this," she whispered, looking down.

That surprised me. Had she never dated anyone? That was nearly impossible. How could such a girl have never gone out, at least once? "So, you never met anyone you wanted?" If she was just trying to placate me, well, it wasn't working.

She stared into my eyes. I could read the utter honesty in them. "Not in Phoenix."

It must be true.

_You haven't forgotten that we're going hunting, have you? Yes, you have. Or, you will._

Shut up, Alice, I thought. She was right, actually – Bella should have driven herself today, if we were going to go on our hunting trip.

"I should have let you drive yourself today," I murmured.

Bella's inquisitive eyes flashed up to mine. "Why?"

"I'm leaving with Alice after lunch," I told her, apologetic.

She seemed slightly disappointed. I could only hope that the disappointment was due to not being able to go home with me. "That's okay. It's not that far of a walk."

I looked at her in disbelief. Did she really think that I would make her walk home? "I'm not going to make you walk home – we'll go get your truck and leave it here for you."

"I don't have my key with me. I really don't mind walking."

No way was she walking home. I knew where her key was, even though it was in the most unlikely place. "Your truck _will_ be here, and the key _will_ be in the ignition. Unless you're afraid someone might steal it," I teased her.

She seemed certain that it wouldn't be here. "All right. So where are you going?"

"Hunting." I was reluctant to tell her this. "If I'm going to be…alone with you tomorrow – " I was nearly stumbling over the words " – I'm going to take whatever precautions I can."

I stared into her eyes. "You can always cancel, you know," I said.

She stared back, hypnotized. "No, I can't," she murmured.

"Perhaps you're right," I agreed. All of a sudden, every part of her sang out to me. I breathed in, and felt the familiar atomic bomb go off in my throat. It _was_ strong enough to destroy Hiroshima. No doubt about that.

"What time will I see you tomorrow?" she asked, interrupting my reverie.

I smiled at her eagerness. "That depends, it's a Saturday. Don't you want to sleep in?"

Before I had the words all out, she interrupted again. "No."

That was a relief – she wanted me, at least. "The same time as usual, then. Will Charlie be there?" That seemed like the perfect opportunity to introduce myself.

_Hurry up! You have plenty of time to engage in deep conversation…later!_

I ignored Alice.

"No, he's fishing tomorrow." A smile broke on her face. It took away my breath, though her answer bothered me.

"And if you don't come home…what will he think?" I snapped.

She glared at me. "I have no idea. He knows I've been meaning to do the laundry," she muttered. "Maybe he'll think I fell in the washer." It _could_ happen.

I glared right back. She tried to hold my gaze for a moment, and then gave up.

"What are you hunting tonight?" she offered as a change of topic.

How could she allude to the activities of a monster so casually? "Whatever we find in the park," I answered. "We aren't going far."

"Why are you going with…Alice?"

"Alice is the most…." I scrambled for the right word to describe my annoying little sister. "Supportive."

"And the others?" She frowned minutely. "What are they?" She glanced over at our regular table quickly.

I ignored the profanities from Rosalie and the teasing from Emmett. "Incredulous," I muttered. "For the most part."

She seemed slightly concerned. "They don't like me."

"That's not it," I lied, trying to sound innocent. "They don't understand why I can't leave you alone," I explained.

Bella sighed. "Neither do I…for that matter," she admitted.

I felt a small outburst of rage. How could Rosalie or anyone or Bella herself think that way? She was perfect. And it was a miracle that she felt this way about me.

I looked in her eyes. "I _told_ you. You don't see yourself clearly at all," I disagreed. "You're not like anyone I've ever known. You fascinate me." She must She must have that natural defense against me for a reason.

"Having the advantages I do," I continued, "I have a better than average grasp of human nature. People are _predictable_, but you never do what I expect."

_Edward, if you're going to talk on and on with her, can you save it for another time? You're making me sick!_ Rosalie's thoughts had a bitter edge to them, and I wished I could go over to her and rip her head off.

"You always take me by surprise," I whispered, leaning toward Bella.

Her eyes darted away from me, and I felt frustration at that small movement.

"That part is easy enough to explain, but there's more," I muttered. "And it's not so easy to put into words."

I felt Rosalie turn around. My eyes darted toward her, and I saw her glare furiously at Bella. She was thinking red. Anger and malevolence radiated from her.

Bella stiffened, and she quickly turned back to me.

Damn her. Damn Rosalie. Why did she have to do this to me?

"I'm sorry about that," I apologized. "She's just worried. You see, it's dangerous for more than _just_ me if – after spending so much time with you so publicly – " I stopped suddenly.

She wanted me to continue. "If?" she asked.

"If this ends badly." I covered my head with my hands, and I felt like a monster for doing this. Why did Bella have to choose me? By doing so, she was endangering her life. If those were the choices, I would rather have her be with that young Jacob Black than do this. But no, she always had to.

_I told you so_, Rosalie thought, all smug.

Bella reached for me, but then withdrew her hand. I hoped that she was still distant with me. That would be so much easier. "And you have to leave…now?" she asked hesitantly.

I looked into her eyes again. They were so comforting – so warm, so deep, so easy to lose myself in. "Yes," I answered. "It's probably for the best. We still have fifteen minutes of that…wretched movie left to endure in Biology," I smiled gently, and so did she, "and I don't think I could take that anymore."

Out of my periphery, I saw Alice making her way over to us. She was still thinking about that one vision she had, where she saw Bella becoming her best friend. This was too soon an introduction for my comfort, but there was nothing to do about it now.

"Alice," I murmured.

"Edward." _You ready, bro?_

I nodded minutely. "Alice, Bella. Bella, Alice." I kept the introduction short.

_Uh-oh. I think hunting is a good idea – I see what you mean by her blood now._ Alice's thoughts were slightly worried, but she put on a mask for Bella. "Hello, Bella. It's nice to _finally _meet you."

I glared at her.

"Hi, Alice." Bella's voice was quiet as she stared at Alice.

"Are you ready?" she asked again, aloud this time. _Just for her benefit_, she added silently.

"Nearly – I'll meet you at the car," I replied. Alice turned and left.

Bella's attention turned back to me. "Should I say 'have fun' or is that the wrong sentiment?" she joked.

I smiled – she was an expert at distracting me. "No, 'have fun' works – as well as anything."

Her voice held a little bit of disappointment when she tried to smile back. "Have fun, then," she murmured.

I couldn't bear for her to be sad. "I'll try. And you try to be safe. _Please_."

She sighed. "Safe in Forks. What a challenge."

My eyes closed. What if something happened to her while I was gone? I added _Newton_ to my Terrible Things That Could Happen To Bella list. "For you, it is a challenge. Promise," I urged her.

She held up her right hand. "I promise to _try_ to be safe. I'll do the laundry tonight. That ought to be fraught with peril." Her hand dropped.

I laughed. "Don't fall in," I warned.

She seemed to be happier when I was. "I'll do my best."

Reluctantly, I stood up. I hated to tear myself away from her, but thinking of an alternative…made me cringe.

"I'll see you tomorrow." Her voice was low, her face downcast.

Her expression pained me. "It seems like a long time to you," I murmured. "Doesn't it?"

She nodded.

"I'll be there in the morning." I smiled at her, and lifted her face with my hand to look at me. Our gazes locked for a moment, and I trailed my hand down her face. And then I left.

"Seriously, Edward," Alice said irritably, as I finished off another deer. "It would probably help if we went farther away. You know that there aren't many carnivores around here. Herbivores don't really help much."

I growled, a dangerously low, menacing sound. "You know that I can't be that far away from her," I muttered, wiping away a stray drop of blood from my cheek. "I have to be nearby in case something happens to her."

_Like what? _"You already left her a note – what else can you do?"

"Stay with her."

_You're so dense, Edward. I'm sure you'll be glad when you can't control yourself tomorrow._

"Shut up, Alice," I snapped. "Try to be less irritating than Rosalie, will you?"

She didn't pay me any attention. Her gaze and thoughts turned to another animal nearby. I sat down on a rock and tried to run through my agenda for the next day.

Could I control myself?

I didn't know. "Alice, do you see me killing her tomorrow?"

"Nope." Her voice was certain.

That was a relief, at least. I couldn't bear to think of what would happen if we were alone…in the woods, and I was too close to her. I just couldn't.

The sun was already down, and the night animals came out. "All right, Alice," I said. "I think we've hunted enough. Let's get back."

She sighed in exasperation. "Must you really see her every night?" she asked.

"Yes. You know that."

"Well, if you kill my future best friend, I'll kill you," she threatened.

"Be my guest," I muttered.

We headed back silently.

I knocked on her door, and heard her heartbeats speed up. It was a pleasant night – though she'd scared me once when she asked why I was here. She'd said my name several times, and even though it was wrong, I was pleased to know that I was the one that she dreamt about.

The door opened, and she sighed in happiness.

She seemed better rested than yesterday or the night before, and I was glad.

I immediately noticed that we were wearing matching outfits. I was wearing a tan sweater and dark blue jeans. She was wearing the beautiful, almost…sexy dark blue shirt that made her look impossibly beautiful. She was wearing tan pants that were tight against her legs.

Not able to restrain my amusement, my 'good morning' had a laugh in it.

She seemed instantly alert. "What's wrong?"

"We match."

As she locked the door behind me, I touched her hand gently, and quickly withdrew mine, trying not to push her too far.

As she climbed up into the passenger seat, I felt slightly scared at the prospect of having her drive.

"We made a deal," she said as she took in my expression.

I sat next to her, in the small cab of her truck, and her closeness took me off guard. Her scent was so tantalizing, and she would have smelled fine to a human, too. I took a deep breath, glad when the flames were slightly less painful than before.

"Where to?" she asked. I reached over to touch her seatbelt. "Put your seatbelt on. I'm nervous already." Bella behind the wheel – this ought to go well.

""Where to?" she asked once more, with an edge of impatience.

"Take the one-oh-one north."

We sat in silence, but I could hear her heartbeats quicken. Sometimes, her eyes would dart to me, and the tires would deviate slightly from their fixed path.

Definitely a bad idea.

Her truck was terribly slow. I heard the engine sputter as the speedometer approached fifty. She needed a new car ASAP.

"Were you planning to make it out of Forks?" I asked. "Before nightfall?"

She seemed irritated that I was scorning her beloved truck. "This truck is old enough to be _your_ car's grandfather. Have some respect."

No one knew that better than I did. "Turn right on the one-ten."

Her hands gripped the steering wheel so tightly that her knuckles were showing. If I was driving like that, the wheel would have been dust.

"Now, we drive until the pavement's end." I grinned as I thought of her horror at the plan for today.

"And what's there at the pavement's end?"

I couldn't stop smiling. "A trail," I replied honestly.

"We're hiking." She sounded worried.

I looked over at her. Her eyebrows formed a little V in the middle of her forehead again. I wished she'd relax. Nothing would happen to her. My smile faded as I thought of the falsity of that statement. "Is that a problem?"

"No," she muttered, though she was obviously lying.

"Don't worry," I soothed her. "It's only five miles or so, and we're in no hurry."

Her silence was panicked now.

I tried instinctively to penetrate the damned shield protecting her thoughts, and heard nothing. "What are you thinking?"

"Just wondering where we're going," she said too casually. Another lie.

"It's a place I like to go, when the weather's nice," I said truthfully. The weather would be nice in the meadow. I tried not to think of her reaction when she would see me in the sun, for the first time.

She sounded mollified. "Charlie said it would be nice today."

The name brought me back to the present. "And did you tell Charlie what you were up to?" _Someone_ had to know that she was with me. If I lost control, I would suffer the consequences that way.

"Nope," she replied smugly.

What was wrong with her? "But Jessica thinks we're going to Seattle together?" Jessica had to know. At least someone knew she was with me.

"No. I told her that you canceled on me," she continued, oblivious to my irritation, "which is true."

I was furious. How did she plan to treat her life? Didn't she know that my self-control had a _limit_? "No one knows you're with me?" I demanded.

She seemed determined to not let my mood get through to her. "That depends. I assume you told Alice?"

"That's very helpful, Bella." She wanted to treat this like a joke.

"Are you so depressed by Forks that it's made you suicidal?" I nearly shouted.

She sighed and turned to me. "You said it might cause trouble for you," she muttered. "Us being together publicly."

This was beyond irritating. I counted to ten in my head, to no avail. I thought that Bella was smart, but apparently not. "So you're worried about the trouble it might cause me," I said in a low voice, "if you don't come home?"

Her eyes stayed fixed on the road, but she nodded at me.

"Damn your senses, Bella," I muttered, too low for her ears.

I clenched my hands in fists – Bella would never forgive me if I took off the door of her car – and clenched my teeth together.

We arrived at the road's end, and I could feel Bella's relief as she eyed the trail in front of us – it must have been better than she'd thought. I bit back a laugh – wait till she saw what we were really going to do.

As soon as she had the key out of the ignition, she hopped out of the cab, seeming nervous. I unzipped my sweater and hung it over the back of the seat, and stepped out, too. My shirt was unbuttoned, and I relaxed visibly as I felt the rare warmth of the air engulf me.

I turned to the side. "This way."

"The…the trail?" she managed to stutter out.

Still slightly annoyed at her lack of self-preservation, I turned to her. "I said that there was a trail at the end of the road," I reminded her. "Not that we were taking it."

"No trail?!"

"I won't let you get lost," I promised. I stepped toward her, and I heard her breath catch. She stared at me as if she was looking upon something perfect – which was the farthest from the truth. I realized, too late, that I should have buttoned my shirt. I gazed down at her, and her eyes met mine. The expression in them tugged at my heart.

This would never work. I wouldn't hold it against her if she didn't want to do this anymore. "Do you want to go home?"

She took in a deep breath, and walked hesitantly to my side. "No."

I made myself be gentle with her. "What's wrong?"

She seemed to consider saying something, but gave up. "I'm not a good hiker."

That was obviously the least of her concerns, but I wasn't going to pry.

"I can be patient," I murmured, trying to lift her out of her depression, "if I make a great effort."

Smiling wanly, she looked away from my face.

"I'll take you home." Her eyes hardened, and she wouldn't look at me. I would never hurt her, I knew that now. She_ would_ go back home.

"If you want me to hack five miles through the jungle before sundown," she said icily, "you'd better start leading the way.

I tried to think of reasons why she would feel the way she did – how I'd snapped at her, how hiking terrified her – but her dejection seemed to be another matter altogether.

After a while, I placed a hand in the small of her back, gently, and pulled her with me into the woods. I tried to make the journey up to my special place as easy as possible – I pushed aside the bushes, I kicked the small boulders out of the way. I tried to help as much as possible, but I didn't want to go too far yet with the physical part of our relationship, so it was hard to help her when she would slip or fall. When she did, however, I would pull her up instantly by her arm, and release her quickly. Her heart behaved abnormally when I did so. She seemed to like this.

It was wrong.

Bella kept trying to keep her eyes away from me, but sometimes, she would sneak a glance in my direction. Every time, her face would flush, and she'd look away again. Frustratingly enough, I couldn't read her thoughts any better.

I ran my mind frantically over any topic I'd yet to interrogate her with. "How were your birthdays like?"

"Great," she murmured, still looking away.

"Please, Bella."

She looked at me now. "What?"

"Oh, so we're on one-word terms now, are we?" A smile flashed briefly on her face. "Really, though, Bella, tell me. I need to know more about you."

"Seriously?" she asked, sarcastically. "What next? Who my teachers were when I was in elementary school?"

I smiled, flashing all my teeth. "Yes, please."

She groaned but answered me.

Even though the pace was killing me – I was accustomed to moving much, much faster – I remained at her side. It didn't matter – I was with Bella. Regardless of her mood.

"Are we there yet?" she asked, after we'd walked several hours.

At least she was still alive – I'd begun to think that she was becoming a little robot who answered questions – and I looked down at her. "Nearly. Do you see the brightness ahead?"

She was quiet for a few seconds, and I took that as a no. "Um, should I?"

"Maybe it's a bit soon," I joked. "For _your_ eyes."

"Time to visit the optometrist."

After maybe five more minutes, her eyes brightened with the light in the forest. The sky was, for the moment, cloudless. When I peeked up, I could see that.

She started to speed up eagerly. I could imagine her joy and wonder as she stepped through the last clump of ferns to my secret place.

As she entered the clearing, she froze. As I walked to her, I could see that her deep brown eyes were wide, scanning the clearing. It was especially beautiful today – perhaps because I was with _her_.

Running into the clearing, she bent down to feel the soft grass. I knew what she was thinking. That was one reason I liked that meadow – the grass was softer, and had an almost sweet scent to it.

Watching her prance about in undisguised joy, I couldn't help but feel a twinge of sadness that I could never be so carefree. I stayed in the shadows of the trees.

She seemed to remember my aversion to the sunlight as soon as I did. She turned back to me and gestured me forth with one hand. I held up mine, cautioning her.

It was time to show Bella who I really was.

I let the sunlight wash over me.


	2. Confessions

Confessions

Ahh….

I lay in the sunlight, my eyes closed. I could feel the gentle sparkle of my skin – not too strong, yet nowhere near normal. I lay with my shirt open, and I could feel Bella's gaze on me.

Bella…she was so beautiful. I thought about how I should add lyrics to her lullaby, and I tried them out under my breath…but none of them fit.

The radiance of the sun was a rare luxury. I felt it shine upon Bella and I, and it was like we were the only two people in the world. All of a sudden, my heart swelled with a feeling akin to _lust_ for Bella. My mind flashed back to our time in Denali. When we'd been there last as a family, Tanya began to have that thing for me. At first I didn't notice, since I was preoccupied; but her feelings became clear when I went for a walk by myself in the woods. I'd always sought refuge from nature; that was why I loved this spot in the woods. It was my meadow.

On that day, I had needed some alone time, like I usually did. Tanya was fast, nearly as fast as I. I had heard her thoughts and her footsteps a few seconds before she was by me, but I was shocked at the amount of pointless lust in them. She had flung herself on me, knocking me off the log that I had been sitting on, and pressed her lips roughly to mine. As I lay there, shocked, I was aware of my shirt being shredded. I had tried to twist away from her demanding lips, but she wouldn't let me. Her hands had moved down my body until it reached…the private areas.

"Come on, Edward, you _know_ you want me," she had whispered, her voice a seductive purr.

I moved my hands to her shoulders and flung her aside. "What the hell, Tanya!" I had exclaimed in fury. Shoving her roughly aside, I tore her hands from my body and ran at top speed away from her. After another year or so of ignoring her, our friendship had taken cautious steps of progress, but there was always that…tension between us when we were together. An all-too-subtle reminder.

If I was being attacked by Bella, on the other hand, I wouldn't mind it nearly as much. In fact, I wouldn't mind at all. I _wanted_ her to do it. Right now.

For a brief second, I wished that Bella was a vampire. I wished that she was stronger than me, so that she could do what she wanted with me and that I wouldn't ever be able to fight back. I wanted to feel her body on mine, her mouth on mine….

I pushed away the lustful thoughts. As soon as I managed to snap back into the present, my eyes still closed, I felt her hand on mine.

My eyes flew open as I felt her stroke my hand. Utter pleasure flooded my mind as I felt her skin making contact with mine.

"I don't scare you?" I teased. However, I was truly curious. How could she cross the natural lines and push aside the natural human aversion to our kind?

She smiled back, a breathtaking, beautiful smile. "No more than usual."

My teeth shone in the sun. I wasn't ever careful around her anymore.

I could feel her whole hand on my arm now, tracing up my muscles all the way to my shoulder. I could feel her hand caress the inside of my elbow, and I shivered with delight.

"Do you mind?" she asked hesitantly.

Nothing could be further from the truth. "No…you can't _imagine_ how that feels."

As she traced back down my arm, she held up my hand to her face. She seemed to be examining the little shimmers embedded in my skin. I flipped my palm over, perhaps too quickly; her fingers froze on mine.

A mistake on my part. "Sorry," I apologized. I stared into her eyes until my eyelids drooped down again by themselves. "It's too easy to be myself with you," I explained.

She lifted my hand to her face again and I could feel a strand of her hair brush against my palm. The delectable scent wafted over me once more. I wondered how this was for her, how it felt to hesitantly cross these physical boundaries.

My eyes opened again. I stared, hypnotized, into her eyes. I could see my reflection in them. My breath caught before I was able to go back to the question I had been planning to ask her.

"Tell me what you're thinking," I pleaded. "It's still so strange for me, not knowing."

She grinned. "You know, the rest of us feel that way all the time," she reminded me.

I recalled my human days, and wondered how I was ever able to live without hearing the thoughts. "It's a hard life….but you didn't tell me."

She sighed, giving in. "I was wishing I could know what you were thinking."

There was more. "And?"

Her head bowed down just a little. "I was wishing I could believe that you were real. And I was wishing that I wasn't afraid."

The first thought amused me. What, did that mean I wasn't real?

The second, however, concerned me. _I_ wished that she wasn't afraid. Whenever she felt pain, it was my pain, too. I wanted to pull her into my arms, to stroke her hair, to soothe her.

"I don't want you to be afraid," I whispered. I could hear heart stutter, and I felt that familiar surge of extra venom in my mouth as I took in a breath through my mouth. I couldn't say what I really wanted to. I wanted to tell her that there was nothing to be afraid of, that she was going to be fine.

And then I would be the biggest liar in history.

"Well," she murmured, "that's not exactly the fear I meant. Though that's certainly something to think about.

Damn her shield. I was like a ticking bomb, and I needed to hear her thoughts.

I pulled myself up in a sitting position, so that I was right by her. My hand was still intertwined with hers, and I didn't want to pull away. Her eyes widened as she stared into mine. Our gazes locked like that. It was almost embarrassing, to look at her like that, but neither of us cared.

Trying to not disturb her, I made my voice nearly inaudible. "What are you afraid of, then?"

She didn't answer. Her eyes still locked with mine, she hesitantly leaned forward, closer to my mouth.

I couldn't allow this to happen right now. I couldn't let _her_ be the one to take that step. I wasn't ready for it – it would happen when _I_ allowed it to happen.

I raced away from her, into the shadows of the trees. I felt my skin cool down, and I was aware of the absence of the sparkles. I could see my love perfectly from where I was. Her face registered shock, then disappointment, and finally, sorrow. I couldn't bear it, but I had to.

Her hands dropped into her lap.

"I'm sorry, Edward," she whispered quietly, knowing that I could still hear her.

"Give me a moment," I answered. I had to call out quite a bit louder than she, but I knew that she could hear me. Her head dropped into her hands, and I could feel her shame. My heart ached.

Walking very, very slowly, I crossed back over the meadow to her.

I sat down a bit farther away, crossing my legs. She didn't look up.

"I am so, so very sorry. Would you understand what I meant if I said I was only human?" I asked.

She nodded, not able to laugh at my feeble attempt at humor. As I heard her heart calm down, I realized what had made me run away.

It was already so simple: all I had to do was reach over, and Bella's life would be over. But I now realized that I had so much more than that – anything, absolutely anything about me made Bella draw nearer to me.

"I'm the world's best predator, aren't I?" I laughed bitterly. "Everything about me invites you in! My voice. My face." I turned my face away from hers, not quite wanting to face the utter truth of the statement.

Her face was now turned toward me, and her expression was one of terror. I couldn't stop. I was too far gone.

"Even my smell! As if I need any of that!"

Without pausing to think about what I was doing, I raced around the meadow in the time it took for her heart to beat once.

"As if you could outrun me!" I yelled, and my voice echoed around the vacant forest.

Turning to the nearest tree, I ripped one of the limbs from it, and hurled it toward the largest tree I could find. The limb became random bits of wood, and I had made the other tree lean over.

And I came back to her.

"As if you could fight me off."

She sat frozen, her heart thudding painfully. I stepped closer as I realized what I had just done. I could feel the pain wearing through.

"Don't…don't be afraid," I pleaded. Her face was still terrified. "I promise…."

How many promises have I made that I had broken? I didn't want to count them. Something had to be done, to make sure that I would never break this one.

"I swear not to hurt you."

She didn't move.

I stepped closer, and knelt down. "Don't be afraid," I repeated. I leaned toward her, drawing closer to her. I drew in a breath through my mouth, welcoming the dry burn it came with. As long as I was in pain, she was alive. I would gladly burn like this for the rest of my existence to keep her alive. "Please forgive me, I can control myself," I assured her. "You caught me off guard – but I'm on my best behavior now."

Her mouth opened, but not a sound came out.

I smiled gently. "I'm not thirsty today. Honestly." I winked at her.

She finally laughed, but it was an uneasy one.

I sighed in relief – I had begun to think that I had permanently affected her mind. "Are you all right?" I twisted my fingers with hers again.

While gazing at my hand, her warm fingers stroked my cool skin. Her gaze met mine again, and she seemed satisfied with what she saw. She smiled softly, as if unsure to my reaction.

Relief washed through me again.

"So, where were we?" I asked. I knew the answer perfectly well, of course, but I wanted to hear her voice again. "Before I behaved so…rudely?"

"I honestly can't remember," she whispered truthfully.

If I could blush, I would have right here. "I think we were talking about why you were afraid…besides the obvious reason." Which I demonstrated so well, of course.

"Oh," she murmured. "Right."

The muteness of her thoughts irritated me again. "Well?"

She continued to stroke my hand, and I was diverted for a moment by that, but not for long.

"How easily frustrated I am." At that, she looked up into my eyes. I couldn't help staring back. I would be the last one to know anything about relationships like these, but however I was supposed to proceed, I was sure that I was doing it wrong. As much as I would've loved to stare into her eyes forever, the curiosity tore at me.

"I was afraid," she began, "because for, well, _obvious_ reasons, I can't stay with you. And, I'm afraid that I'd _like_ to stay with you, more than I should." Her face turned rosy again as she confessed this. I was struck in the face by the truth of this, too. She shouldn't be with me, but neither of us had the restraint to stay away from each other. The thought made me ashamed. I could fight off a mountain lion, but I couldn't stay away from her? I suddenly thought of the way Carlisle and Esme were together, Emmett and Rosalie, or Alice and Jasper. Maybe they couldn't stay away from each other. Maybe…that was what love means.

"Yes," I agreed, looking away from her. "That is something to be afraid of. Indeed – wanting to be with me, that's really not in your best interest."

Her face was one of sadness, but I had to continue. "I should have left long ago. I should leave. Now. But I don't know if…if…if I can."

She seemed on the verge of tears again. "I don't _want_ you to leave," she whispered, her lower lip trembling. My heart ripped another inch.

I tried desperately to force her to understand my side. "Which is exactly why I should! But don't worry," I added. "I'm essentially a selfish creature. I crave your company too much…to do what I should."

She sighed. "I'm glad," she admitted.

Fury overwhelmed me. I was right, she had no self-preservation whatsoever. "Don't be!" I snapped. I yanked my hand away from her, refusing any physical contact. "It's not only your company I crave! Never forget that!" I roared, as unhumanlike as possible. "Never forget that I am more dangerous to you – than I am to anyone else."

She bit her lip to keep it from trembling again. Her eyes became slightly wet. I was filled with remorse; I couldn't get anything, _anything_ right when I was with her. "I don't think I understand exactly what you mean," she whispered. "By that last part anyway."

I was developing a multiple personality disorder; I smiled again. "How do I explain?" I wondered. "And without frightening you again. Hmm," I murmured.

My hand placed itself back in hers. She now held it with both of hers, and held my hand up to her cheek. "That's amazingly pleasant," I said, shivering with happiness. "The _warmth_."

"You know how everyone enjoys different flavors, some people love chocolate ice cream?" Chocolate…her eyes.

"Or strawberry?" The amazing color of her cheeks. She nodded.

I was perhaps going too far – I knew nearly nothing of food anymore. "Sorry about the food analogy," I said, my tone lighter. "I couldn't think of another way to explain."

The corners of her mouth turned up slightly.

"You see…." I stumbled upon a stronger comparison. "Every person smells different. Has a different _essence_. If you locked an alcoholic in a room full of stale beer, he'd gladly drink it."

I was reminded of the times I'd fed from criminals who voluntarily deadened their senses with alcohol before committing a crime. I could taste the alcohol in their blood. The flavor was disgusting – how could anyone, criminals or otherwise, want that?

"But he could resist, if he wished. If he were a recovering alcoholic," I continued. "Now, let's say you placed in that room a glass of hundred-year-old brandy. The rarest…finest cognac, and filled the room with its warm aroma. How do you think he would fare then?"

She shuddered, and looked up into my eyes. We sat like that for another minute. I tried to see what she was thinking in the infinite depths of her eyes, and came up with nothing.

"Maybe…that's not the right comparison – maybe it would be too easy to turn down the brandy," said I, half to myself. "Perhaps I should make our alcoholic a heroin addict instead." That stuff was much fouler than alcohol.

I could see the effort she was putting into that idea. "So, what you're saying…is I'm your brand of heroin?" She grinned slightly.

Smiling – and exposing all my teeth – I answered, "Yes. You are _exactly_ my brand of heroin."

"Does that happen often?"

I gazed into the trees, trying to frame my answer. "I spoke to my brothers about it," I replied. "To Jasper, every one of you is much the same. He's the most recent to join our family…it's a struggle for him to abstain at all. He hasn't had time to grow sensitive to the differences in smell. In flavor." I looked at her face, frozen again. Major slip-up. Way to go, Edward. Try to reassure the frozen girl in front of you by telling her how hard it is for your brother to keep from drinking human blood.

"Sorry."

She inhaled deeply. "I don't mind," she said truthfully. "Please, don't worry about offending me, or frightening me. Or whichever. That's the way you think…I can understand, or I can try to, at least. Just explain however you can."

"So," I continued. "Jasper wasn't sure if he'd ever come across someone who was as…." Oh Lord, how do I accurately describe the pull her blood had for me? "Appealing as you are to me. Which makes me think not. Emmett has been on the wagon longer – so to speak – and he understood what I meant. He says twice for him, once stronger than the other."

I heard an intake of breath from her. "And for you?" she asked.

My answer was flat. "Never."

All was silent for a brief moment.

Her words came out slowly. "What did Emmett do?"

I thought of his description in his mind. The woman he saw, the way he simply couldn't control his thirst….I didn't realize that my hand had tensed up, and that I would crush her fingers if I wasn't careful.

"I guess I know."

Pain flooded me from head to toe. I stared into her eyes, my voice agonized. "Even the strongest of us fall off the wagon, don't we?" I whispered.

"What are you asking – my _permission_?" she snapped. I hung my head and bit my tongue, not trusting my voice.

"I mean…is there no hope then?" she asked, her voice softer.

"No! No, of course there's hope!" I assured her. "I mean, of course I won't…it's different for us. Emmett – these were strangers he happened across. It was a long time ago, and he wasn't as practiced, as careful, as he is now."

I let her have a few moments to think this through.

"So, if we'd met, oh, in a dark alley or something?"

I gritted my teeth. It was extremely hard to talk about this calmly. "It took _everything_ I had not to jump up, in the middle of that class full of children, and – " I paused. "When you walked past me, I could have ruined everything Carlisle has built for us, right then and there. If I hadn't been denying my thirst for the last, well, too many years…I wouldn't have been able to stop myself." I smiled, but it wasn't a happy one. "You must have thought I was possessed."

"I couldn't understand," she admitted. How you could hate me…so quickly."

Taking a deep breath, I continued. "To me, it was like you were some kind of demon, summoned straight from my own personal hell to ruin me. The fragrance coming off your skin…." I shook my head, trying to make her understand the dangers I presented for her. "I thought it would make me…deranged that first day. In that _one_ hour, I thought of a hundred different ways to lure you from the room with me. To get you alone. And I fought them each back, thinking of my family, what I could do to them. I _had_ to run out, to get away – before I could speak the words that would make you follow…."

Her eyes, shocked, stared into mine. My eyes were pleading with hers, for her to grasp the dangers of being with me.

"You would have come."

"Without a doubt." Her voice trembled.

I dropped my gaze do our hands, still together. "And…and then as I tried to rearrange my schedule in a pointless attempt to avoid you, you were there. In that close, warm little room, the scent was maddening. I so very nearly took you then," I admitted. "There was only one other frail human there, so very easily dealt with."

Her breathing was unsteady.

I leaned in to her unconsciously, drawing closer to her warmth. I breathed in a deep, painful breath before I continued. "But I resisted," I murmured. I don't know how. I forced myself not to wait for you, not to follow you from the school. It was easier, outside when I couldn't smell you anymore, to think clearly, to make the right decision. I left the others near home. I was too ashamed to tell them how weak I was, they only knew that something was very wrong." I looked at Bella's expression. She seemed to be making an effort to understand these new revelations.

"And then," I continued, "I went straight to Carlisle, at the hospital, to tell him I was…leaving."

She looked at me, shocked.

"I traded cars with him," I explained. "He had a full tank of gas and I didn't want to stop. I didn't dare go home to face Esme." I smiled wanly at my thoughts then, how I feared Esme's wrath. That seemed so minor, so trivial, when I was here with Bella. "She wouldn't have let me go without a scene. She would have tried to convince me that it wasn't necessary. By the next morning I was in Alaska. I spent two days there, with some old acquaintances." I shuddered at the memory of Tanya, how she still was hoping that I would like her. Ugh. "But I was homesick, I hated knowing that I'd upset Esme, and the rest of them. My adopted family. In the pure air of the mountains, it was hard to believe you were so irresistible. I convinced myself it was weak to run away. I'd dealt with temptation before, not of this magnitude. Not even close, but I was strong. Who were you, an insignificant little girl, to chase me from the place I wanted to be?" I smiled at her gently. "So, I came back."

Bella was still mute with shock.

"I took precautions, hunting, feeding more than usual before seeing you again." I remembered how I made myself bloated with blood beforehand. "I was sure that I was strong enough to treat you like any other human. I was arrogant about it…it was unquestionably a complication that I couldn't simply read your mind to know what your reaction was to me. I wasn't used to having to go to such…circuitous measures, listening to your words in Jessica's mind. Her mind isn't very original, and it was _annoying_ to have to stoop to that. And then I couldn't know if you really meant what you said. It was all extremely irritating."

Glancing at Bella, a seed of worry began to grow in my heart. She was still silent, as silent as always. "I wanted you to forget my behavior that first day, if possible, so I tried to talk to you like I would with any person," I murmured, stroking her hand. "I was eager, actually, hoping to decipher some of your thoughts. But you were too interesting. I found myself caught up in your expressions. And every now and then, you would stir the air with your hand – or your hair – and the scent would…stun me again. Of course," I added, "then you were nearly crushed to death in front of my eyes. Later, I thought of a perfectly good excuse for why I acted at that moment. Because, if I hadn't saved you…if your blood had been spilled there in front of me – " I cringed at the thought " – I don't think I could have stopped myself from exposing us for what we are. But I only thought of that excuse later. At that time, all I could think was 'not her'." I closed my eyes in relief, having finally told my story to her. When I peeked at her face again, her face was now more curious than shocked. At least that was a relief.

How could she feel that way? I had just told her of my craving for her blood and she felt _no fear?!_ How was that humanly – or inhumanly – possible?

"In the hospital?" she whispered.

I stared, pained, into her eyes. "I was appalled. I couldn't believe that I had put us in danger after all. Put myself in your power, you of all people. As if I needed another motive to kill you!" I winced as the latest 'as if' slipped out. "But it had the opposite effect. I fought with Rosalie, Emmett and Jasper when they suggested that now was the time – the worst fight we've ever had." I blinked out of habit, and I recalled the terrible near-separation we'd gone through. "Carlisle sided with me, and Alice." Alice…I forced myself not to think of her. "Esme told me to do whatever I had to in order to stay. All that next day, I eavesdropped on the minds of everyone you spoke to, shocked that you kept your word." I was ashamed at this confession, that I didn't trust her. As I looked into her face, I saw no hint of anger in it, only curiosity. "I didn't understand you. At all. But I knew that I couldn't become more involved with you. I did my best to stay as far away from you as possible. And every day, the perfume of your skin, your breath…" I sighed. "Your hair. It hit me as hard as the very first day."

Taking a deep breath, I willingly subjected myself again to the heat and pain. "And for all that," I whispered. "I'd have fared better if I had exposed us all at that first moment, than if now, here, with no witnesses and nothing to stop me, I were to hurt you." I lowered my gaze. Her hand tensed in mine.

"Why?"

"Isabella," I murmured. I reached up my hand to stroke her hair, to run my fingers through it. I held it up to my face and took a breath, and nearly choked on the fire. "Bella…I couldn't live with myself if I _ever_ hurt you. You don't know how it's tortured me," I murmured. Thanks to Alice, I had scenes of Bella's corpse replaying themselves in my mind. "The thought of you still white, cold. To never see you blush scarlet, to never see that flash of…intuition in your eyes when you see through my pretenses. It would be _unendurable_." I pulled her face closer to min, trying to make her understand the truth of what I was saying. "You are the most important thing to me now. The most important thing to me ever."

She seemed taken aback at my willingness to touch her. Her gaze dropped onto our hands, locked together tightly. I never took my eyes off her. I couldn't bear to. She was too beautiful.

"You…you already know how I feel, of course," she whispered. "I'm here. Which, roughly translated, means I would rather die than stay away from you."

I swear my heart jumped as I heard that from her own lips. "I'm an idiot," she murmured.

"You _are_ an idiot." We both laughed. Our chuckles subsided as our gazes met again, and I would have gladly made that moment last forever.

"And so…the lion fell in love with the lamb," I whispered, staring into my lamb's face. She blushed and looked away.

"What a stupid lamb."

I agreed. "What a sick, masochistic lion." I only wished that it didn't have to be this way. But I loved her, and there was no getting around that fact.

"Why…?" She broke off.

I smiled reassuringly at her. "Yes?"

"Tell me…." she struggled for words. "Why you ran from me before."

I sighed. "You know why."

"No," she disagreed. "I mean, exactly what did I do wrong? I'll have to be…on my guard, you see. So, I better start learning what I should and shouldn't do. This, for example, seems to be all right." She stroked my hand with hers.

Not again! She was going to put the blame for my unforgivable actions on her shoulders again. "You didn't do anything, Bella. It was my fault."

"But I want to help," she said kindly. "If I can. To not make this harder for you."

How could I tell her that I would never mind her actions, whatever she wanted to do with me? She could push me away, and I would never second-guess that decision, though it would break my heart. "Well," I murmured, not sure how to begin. "It was just how _close_ you were. Most humans instinctively shy away from us, are repelled by our alienness. I wasn't expecting you to come so close. And…the scent of your throat." I cut off there, glancing at her quickly to make sure that I hadn't frightened her.

"Okay, then," she said casually, and tucked her chin into her collarbone. "No throat exposure."

Trust Bella to lift me from whatever depression I was in. "No, really. It was more the surprise than anything else," I assured her between laughs.

Keeping my eyes from hers, I stroked her neck with my free hand. I could feel her accelerating pulse under my hand, and the warmth of her blood. I forced my lungs to take in air as necessary, breathing more through my mouth. "You see, perfectly fine," I told her.

The pounding of her heart accelerated yet again. I gently pulled my other hand from hers and placed it on her cheek. Ah, the color in them made me want to place my lips on her cheek….

_No,_ I told myself sternly. _When you're ready._

I moved my other hand to her face too, and pulled it closer to mine. "The blush on your cheeks is lovely," I whispered intently, gazing into her face.

"Be very still," I warned. If I ever wanted to have a physical relationship with my love, this would be the first of many hurdles to leap across.

I leaned my face to hers, so close that I could feel her face against mine. I brushed my cheek against her face, and down her neck, to her throat. I could feel her pulse and the warmth of her skin. The flames leapt up again inside me, but I beat them back. I couldn't afford to lose control now – I was too far gone. To lose control would be like signing two death warrants. Bella's and mine. I would not ever live without her.

My hands traveled down her face to her neck. I gasped audibly as I felt the strong pulse points under my fingers. She stayed still, which was a relief.

They stopped at her shoulders, and I tilted my face to brush the tip of my nose against her collarbone. I breathed in and out steadily, welcoming the dry flames. The more, the better. The easier for me to get used to the pain.

I dipped my head lower, and lower, onto her chest. I held my face still, my ear pressed to her heart.

The steady thudding of it became engraved in my mind. I could feel myself push harder into her, wanting more, and I could feel her arms clutch me to her. We stayed like that for a long time. Gradually, Bella's heart slowed down. I sighed as I felt the flames, but I was accustomed to the pain now. It didn't lessen the ache in my throat, but it was much more bearable.

Slowly, I drew my face from her chest and held my face to hers once more.

"It won't be so hard again," I whispered, a smile on my lips.

Her arms dropped instinctively. I wished I could tell her to put them around me again, but I knew for sure that I couldn't go that far. "Was that very hard for you?" she asked hesitantly.

I smiled, flashing my teeth. "Not nearly as bad as I imagined it would be. And you?" I added. If she felt like I was going too fast…I had all the time possible. I could afford to slow down if she needed me to.

"No, it wasn't bad for me," she assured me.

"You know what I mean," I murmured. She gave me a dazzling smile in return.

"Here," I said, taking her hand. I placed it gently on my face. "Do you feel how warm it is?" My skin adjusted to temperature, and right now, it was pleasantly warm.

Her face seemed to become aware of something, and she leaned over to whisper in my ear. "Don't move."

I obeyed and sat unmoving under her hand.

I felt her hand travel along my face, under my eyes, along my nose. I closed my eyes and felt her fingertips brush my eyelids. It was pure bliss, and I wanted for the moment to last forever. I felt her warm fingers go down to my lips and trace them. I couldn't help it; my lips parted. I breathed in the scent of her skin, and it was much, much too pleasurable. She sighed, and dropped her hand.

As I opened my eyes, I felt that familiar feeling again. How I felt like I needed oxygen, though that was ridiculous, how I felt like I wouldn't be able to stop my hands from doing what they shouldn't. It was painful not to know if she felt the same or not about me.

"I wish…." I stopped, not wanting to word this badly. "I wish you could feel the…the complexity, the confusion I feel. That you could understand." My hands moved back to her face, and I felt the rush of blood under my fingertips.

"Tell me," she urged. I took advantage of that to lean forward and breathe in her wonderful, sweet breath.

"I don't think I can," I murmured regretfully. "I've told you, on the one hand, the hunger, the thirst, that, deplorable creature that I am, I feel for you." Her mouth opened as if she were about to protest that last part, but I didn't let her. "And I think you can understand that to an extent. Though as you are not addicted to any illegal substances, you probably can't emphasize completely." I grinned.

My hand brushed against her soft, rosy lips. "But there are other hungers," I confessed. "Hungers that I don't even understand, that are foreign to me."

"I may understand _that_ better than you think," she murmured.

In a moment, I knew what that hunger was. I'd seen it in the media a million times, seen it in every thought that Emmett had when he was with Rosalie, Alice with Jasper, Carlisle with Esme. Love. I trembled to think that Bella was creating such a drastic change in my life.

I was human again.

"I'm not used to feeling so human," I mumbled. "Is it always like this?"

"For me? No, never, never before this," she whispered.

I grabbed her hands and clasped them between mine.

"I don't know how to be close to you." How I fervently wished that I were human! I could caress her, touch her, kiss her, and never have to fear that I was going to kill her. "I don't know if I can."

She looked into my eyes, and then leaned forward into my chest. I was unprepared for her sudden movement, but I liked it. I liked feeling her warm skin against my bare chest. She grabbed me and pulled herself closer. I hugged her tightly.

"This is enough." I felt her breath against my skin, and her eyelashes too, as she closed her eyes.

I buried my face in her hair, breathing in and out steadily. Under the pain and temptation of the scent of her blood, there was another scent. It was floral, and it was so…feminine. I concentrated on that scent.

"You're better at this than you give yourself credit for."

I smiled into her hair. "I have human instincts. They may be buried deep, but they're there."

My arms locked around her, not allowing her to escape. I pressed my lips to her hair and would not let go. We stayed like that until the shadows began to lengthen. I felt her sigh gently.

"You have to go." It wasn't a question.

She seemed surprised. "I thought you couldn't read my mind!"

I grinned. "It's getting clearer," I assured her.

Suddenly, I thought of something. A way for Bella to truly experience my life. "Can I show you something?" Please say yes, please say yes, please say yes….

"Show me…what?" she seemed perplexed.

"I'll show you how I travel in the forest." My idea was sounding better and better. "Don't worry. You'll be very safe, and we'll get to your truck much faster." Much, indeed. I smiled at her worries, and heard her heart beat unevenly.

"Um…will you turn into a bat?" she asked, her eyebrows pulling together.

I laughed out loud. "Like I haven't heard that one before!" I teased her.

"Right," she muttered. "I'm sure you get that all the time."

"Come on, little coward," I said, reaching out my hand to her. "Climb onto my back."

She stared at me incredulously, but when she saw that I was serious, she took my hand. I pulled her gently on my back, and her weight was nearly nothing. Her arms were wrapped around my neck very tightly, but I found myself wishing that she would hold on even more tightly, not just for her safety….

"I'm a bit heavier than your average backpack," she whispered in my ear, her voice somehow unintentionally seductive. It made me want more of her.

"Hah," I muttered.

I didn't know what came over me that time, but I reached over and grabbed her hand. I held it against my nose, and breathed in deeply. My lips were pressed against the inside of her wrist. I kissed her hand softly as a practice test.

"Easier all the time," I whispered. I felt much less pain.

And then I ran.

That was one part I loved about being a vampire. Sure, all of us were fast, but I was the fastest in our family. I held her legs tighter around me, and I could feel her bury her face in my neck. The wind whipped through our hair. I made up my mind to do it then. I'd sort of desensitized myself to her scent, there was no telling when I might have another chance like this, and we were completely alone.

So I stopped just inside the forest's edge.

"Exhilarating, isn't it?" I asked Bella over my shoulder. I waited for her to answer, but she didn't. Her arms and legs were wrapped tightly around me still. It was comforting, but I was becoming frightened.

"Bella?"

She groaned. "I think I need to lie down."

Oh, maybe the run wasn't such a good idea. Especially running at top speed like I had. "Oh, sorry." She still didn't come down.

"I think I need help," she whispered in my ear. I felt her warm lips graze my ear and I shivered.

Chuckling, I gently pulled her from my back. I held her against my chest for a moment, and then set her in front of me.

"How do you feel?" I murmured, sitting next to her.

"Dizzy, I think," she mumbled.

"Put your head between your knees," I suggested.

She made an effort to calm her breathing. I took in another deep breath, and felt no pain. That was good. I calmed my breathing too, not wanting to rush this more than I needed to.

"I guess that wasn't the best idea," I commented.

She shook her head. "No, it was…very interesting."

"Hah!" I laughed. "You're as white as a ghost…no, you're as white as me!"

"I think I should have closed my eyes."

"Remember that next time." I'd have to remind her, too.

"Next time?" she nearly shrieked.

I chuckled.

"Show-off," she accused.

Leaning closer to her, I spoke softly, "Open your eyes, Bella."

Her eyes opened. I could never get used to her eyes, that wonderful, startling shade of deep brown. "I was thinking," I began. "While I was running…."

"About not hitting the trees, I hope," she interrupted.

"Silly Bella. Running is second nature to me. It's not something I have to think about."

"Show-off," she said again.

"No," I whispered. "I was thinking there was something I wanted to…try."

Could I do this?

It seemed wrong, but I was allowing desire to rule my senses, anyways. Why stop now?

I cupped her face in my hands, and leaned forward to her. My eyes stayed on hers, unblinking.

When my lips were an inch away from hers, I stopped.

Taking a moment to put myself in check, I closed my eyes and breathed in the scent of her blood. I could resist this, I was sure.

Moving ever so slowly, I heard her heart accelerate with my closeness.

And then I touched my lips to hers.

I heard her swallow, and then her actions took me completely off guard. She pushed her lips harder against mine, forcing me to hold her tighter. Her arms held my neck, and her fingers knotted themselves into my hair. Her lips parted, and I was dizzy with her scent.

Instinct ruled me now. I felt my lips pull back, exposing my venomous, dangerously sharp teeth. My lips were still on hers, and I was preparing to attack….

Oh, God. Oh, no, no…. No! I couldn't _do this!_ My teeth were already pressed against her skin, and it was so tempting to press them into her skin. And then I would kill myself.

I shook my head and pushed her away. Her eyes were still shocked, but understanding. "Oops," she whispered.

My hands were still on her face, holding her a few inches away from me. "That's an understatement," I muttered, my jaw clenched in restraint. I closed my eyes, trying to calm the dizziness of the past few seconds. I knew that the dizziness was, in most part, a result of the closeness of her blood, pulsing under my lips, but it was also because….

The kiss was better than I'd ever dreamed.

Even though it was partially disastrous, she'd wanted me. I now knew why I'd felt trembles up my spine when our lips met, why there was this strange, new feeling in my dry heart, why there was even a strange, unknown feeling in my private parts. Ah, it was want. Pure lust. It was wrong, but it was immensely pleasurable. Like when she'd locked her fingers in my hair, pulling me to her, why she'd pushed more and more into my lips.

Her voice brought me back. "Should I?" she asked, trying to pull herself away. She was as considerate and thoughtful as always. I did not allow her to move away.

"No," I disagreed. "It's tolerable. Wait for a moment, please." I tried not to let excessive emotions show in my voice.

The battle with my bloodlust felt uncontrollable. However, when I had beaten my instincts back, I knew it. I smiled down at her.

"There." I sighed in relief. The most important part was that I had kissed her, and she was alive. I felt like shouting in my happiness.

"Tolerable?" she squeaked out.

"I'm stronger than I thought," I chuckled. "It's nice to know."

She frowned. "I wish I could say the same," she whispered regretfully. "I'm sorry."

I lifted up her chin so I could see her face. "You are only human, after all," I reminded her gently.

She groaned. "Thanks so much," she said sarcastically.

I leapt up again when I realized how late it was, and I was beginning to feel that atmosphere again. The feeling I felt when Bella and I were alone under…intimate circumstances. I held out my hand to her, and she took it gracefully. I held her recklessly close to me as we walked the remaining yards to her truck.

Her arms wrapped around me for balance as she was still a bit wobbly.

"Are you still faint from the run?" I teased. "Or was it my kissing expertise?" I was amazed at how light I could be. If every day was like this, just Bella and I, and we could forget our troubles like this…well, that would be an utopia. No, more like heaven.

"I can't be sure," she whispered, clinging to me. I welcomed the warmth of her embrace. "I'm still woozy. I think it's some of both, though."

I held her tighter. "Maybe you should let me drive." I leaned down to her ear.

She stiffened. "Are you insane?!"

"I can drive better than you on your best day," I contradicted. "You have _much_ slower reflexes."

"I'm sure that's true," she conceded, "but I don't think my nerves, or my truck, could take it."

Sighing, I picked up a strand of her hair and held it up to my nose. "Some trust, please, Bella," I pleaded.

Her hand moved to her pocked, where I head it clench around the truck's key. I smiled; I had won this.

"Nope, not a chance."

My smile disappeared.

She let me go and started to move to the driver's side. I contemplated just letting her drive for a moment, but when she wobbled slightly and lost her balance, that made up my mind.

I reached out my arm and wrapped it around her waist. "Bella," I breathed, my lips brushing against her perfect earlobe, "I've already expended a great deal of personal effort at this point to keep you alive. I'm not about to let you behind the wheel of a vehicle when you can't even walk straight. Besides," I chuckled, "friends don't let friends drive drunk." Of course, she was much more than a _friend_. She was my soul mate, my life, the purpose of my existence. She was a beacon of light in the darkness, a sun in the middle of the night.

"Drunk?" she demanded.

I grinned immaturely. "You're intoxicated by my very presence."

Even though I couldn't read her thoughts, I knew that that had made up her mind for her. "I can't argue with that," she admitted. She dropped her key on purpose and made no move to catch them. They landed in my hand, which had darted under the falling key.

"Take it easy," she warned me. "My truck is a senior citizen.

I nodded in mock seriousness. "Very sensible," I said in a falsely detached tone.

"And are you not affected at all by my presence?" she asked.

She had me. I reached out to take her face in my hands again, and kissed her chin. I moved my lips from her chin to her ear and back. I felt her shiver underneath me, but she wrapped her arms around me even tighter.

"Regardless," I whispered when my lips were at her ear again. "I have better reflexes."

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	3. Mind Over Matter

Mind Over Matter

It was sheer pain for me to keep the speedometer under fifty-five.

As we headed home with the sun almost gone, I couldn't help but stare at my Bella. My beautiful. Her parents had named her rightly – she was, indeed, the most beautiful girl on the planet. Bella. No questions asked.

Turning the radio to a fifties station, I reached over with my other hand to take one of hers. A familiar song came on, and I couldn't help but hum the lyrics.

The adult drivers of the other cars looked at me with concern in their thoughts and gazes. _What, is that young man crazy? He's but a teenager, and he's driving one-handed, with his eyes off the road! Hasn't he heard about all the teenage deaths that have occurred while driving distracted? _And so on.

_If he's going to kiss her, I'm going to puke and crash into something._ I could tell that the owner of the thoughts was single.

"You like fifties music?" she asked, surprised.

My mind flashed back to when I'd actually lived through that music. I'd bought every CD that I liked, and nearly half of my pile of music CDs at home was from the fifties. "Music in the fifties was good," I answered, nodding. "Much better than the sixties. Or the seventies! Ugh!" I remembered the tuneless shouting and screaming that was considered music back then. "The eighties…were bearable." That was the best commendation I could give.

The familiar look of curiosity came into her eyes again "Aren't you ever going to tell me how old you are?" she murmured hesitantly, as if afraid that she'd lit my fuse again.

It _was_ about time she knew, but…. "Does it matter much?" I inquired anxiously. If she needed to know, I would tell her. Of course.

"No," she said quickly. "But I still wonder. There's nothing like an unsolved mystery to keep you up at night."

I couldn't really sympathize, seeing that I couldn't fall asleep. "I wonder if it will upset you." It really could scare her, since she was going out – I couldn't help but shudder at the term – with a seventeen-year-old that had been alive – or dead, in my case – for over a century.

She settled back against the seat. "Try me," she invited.

Staring into her clear eyes, I saw that she really was eager to know, that she would never run away from me. I felt her gaze run down my arm, and I looked, too. The sun was turning the diamonds in my skin into rubies.

"I was born in Chicago – in 1901," I began, and looked cautiously into her eyes again. They were calm, showing no shock. I was encouraged by that. "Carlisle found me in a hospital in the summer of 1918. I was seventeen and dying…of the Spanish Influenza." My tongue twisted over the dreaded disease.

She gasped. I squeezed her hand ever so gently in reassurance. "I don't remember it well. It was a long time ago, and human memories fade." I paused for a moment. Speaking the words brought the memories back, though. The feeling as I gave myself up to the illness that had taken my parents, the sick feeling in my stomach as I thought of the life I was giving up, the shock when a doctor came to sweep me into the morgue and cart my mother off. My eyes would have filled with tears, if they could have, when I remembered my mother. She was strict, and stern, but never if not for my own benefit. That last glance I'd had of her, in the morgue as her body was dumped with the dozens of others….

And then the excruciating pain as Carlisle whispered what I was going to become in my ear, right before he bit me. I had no idea what he'd said, for I was still sick and half-unconscious. And then the burn of the venom made me feel like I was being roasted on a spit over an open fire. I'd wished for death to find me.

"I do remember how it felt," I continued, "when Carlisle found me. It's not an easy thing. Not something you could forget."

I gave her a minute to digest that. "Your parents?" she asked.

Making an effort to control my expressions, to not let my face contort in pain, I answered, "They had already died from the disease…I was alone. That was why he chose me. In the chaos of the epidemic, no one would ever realize I was gone."

"How…how did he save you?" she whispered.

She'd asked the question I already decided not to tell her until appropriate. "It was difficult," I started, choosing my words wisely. "Not many of us have the restraint necessary to accomplish it. But Carlisle has always been the most human, the most compassionate of us." To begin with – there were multitudes of qualities, even unnamed ones, present in Carlisle that made him a father worth respecting, a leader worth following. "I don't think you could find his equal throughout all of history. For me…it was merely very, very painful."

She seemed confused, but didn't ask me anything. She must think that Carlisle was unjust for bringing me to this life. Far from it. "He acted from loneliness," I defended my father. "That's usually the reason behind the choice. I was the first in Carlisle's family – though he found Esme soon after. She fell from a cliff. They brought her straight to the hospital morgue, though somehow, her heart was still beating."

Swallowing uneasily, she murmured, "So you must be dying, then, to become…." She trailed off and her eyes widened meaningfully.

"No," I replied. "That's just Carlisle. He would never do that to someone who had another choice." That only contributed to his moral character, I wanted to add.

"It is easier, he says, though, if the blood is weak." I looked at her again, to make sure that it wasn't too much for her to handle."

"And Emmett and Rosalie?" she asked after a pause.

"Carlisle brought Rosalie to our family next." I stiffened as I recalled the thoughts that I heard playing in his and Esme's heads. "I didn't realize until much later that he was hoping she would be to me what Esme was to him. He was careful with his thoughts around me." I thought I heard Bella gasp, and my eyes flashed back to her face, instantly. Her eyes dropped from my face, and her cheeks reddened. I immediately regretted bringing the subject up, seeing that all humans considered Rosalie to be the most beautiful woman on the planet – not that it was true, though. Bella must've felt so worthless.

I rolled my eyes, trying to cheer her up. "But she was never more than a sister," I reassured her. "It was only two years later that she found Emmett. She was hunting – we were in Appalachia at the time – and found a bear about to finish him off. She carried him back to Carlisle, more than a hundred miles – " I winced " – afraid that she wouldn't be able to do it, herself. I'm only beginning to guess how difficult that journey was for her." My throat burned even more as if in agreement. Very gently, I lifted our intertwined hands to brush the back of my cold hand against her warm, rosy, tempting cheek.

"But she made it," she whispered, looking away from me.

"Yes, she saw something in his face that made her strong enough." I stared into her eyes, being able to comprehend, for the first time, what had made Rosalie pull through. "And they've been together ever since. Sometimes, they live separately from us as a married couple. But the younger we pretend to be, the longer we can stay in any given place. Forks seemed…perfect, so we all enrolled in high school. I suppose we'll have to go to their wedding in a few years. _Again_." I laughed out loud.

"Alice?" she asked hesitantly, aware of my aversion to the subject. "And Jasper?"

"Alice and Jasper are two very rare creatures." I didn't like to address them as _creatures_, but that was how I could describe them. "They both developed a _conscience_, as we refer to it, with no outside guidance. Jasper belonged to another…." I flinched as I tried to think of a word to describe his controlling almost-mate who thirsted for more and more blood. "…family, a very different kind of family. He became depressed, and he wandered on his own. Alice found him. Like me, she has certain gifts beyond the – the norm for our kind."

"Really? But you said you were the only one who could hear other people's thoughts!"

"That's true," I agreed. "She knows other things. She sees things, things that might happen, things that are coming. But it's very subjective," I added, my jaw clenched tightly. I adamantly refused to accept her vision of Bella becoming a red-eyed, bloodthirsty monster. "The future isn't set in stone…things change."

"What…kind of things does she see?" inquired Bella, curiously.

"She saw Jasper and knew that he was looking for her before he knew it himself," I told her, with something similar to grudging admiration in my voice. "She saw Carlisle and our family, and they came together to find us. She's most sensitive to non-humans," I explained. "She sees, for example, when another group of our kind are coming near, and any threat they may pose."

"Are there a lot of…." She gulped. "Of your kind?"

"No," I replied, squeezing her hand tighter. "Not many. But most won't settle in any one place. Only those like us, who've given up hunting you people can live together with humans for any length of time." I grinned at her. "We've only found one other family like ours, in a small village in Alaska. We lived together for a time…but there were so many of us that we became too noticeable. Those of us who live differently tend to band together." I closed my eyes and took a breath through my mouth. I endured the flames gladly. A car with a concerned old lady – though she was a youngster compared to me – beeped gently at me.

She spoke again. "And the others?" she asked.

I knew what she was referring to. "Nomads. For the most part. We've all lived that way at times – it gets tedious, like anything else. But we run across the other now and then, because most of us prefer the…North."

"Why is that?"

I shook my head at her mockingly. "Did you have your eyes open this afternoon?" I laughed, and she blushed minutely, a slow smile creeping onto her face, too. It was altogether extremely lovely. "Do you think I could walk down the street in the sunlight – without creating traffic accidents? There's a reason why we chose the Olympic Peninsula," I explained. "One of the most sunless places in the world. It's nice to be able to go outside in the day – you wouldn't _believe_ how tired you can get of nighttime in eighty-odd years." Not that I sparkled _that_ much, but enough to turn all heads my way.

She seemed to understand, nodding her head. "So that's where the legends came from?"

"Mm. Probably."

"And Alice is from another family? Like Jasper?" she continued asking.

I stiffened instinctively at Alice's name, and then relaxed. "No. And that _is_ a mystery," I added, remembering how I used to keep a monitor on Alice's thoughts all the time, and I could see that she was truthful. "Alice doesn't remember her human life, at all. And she doesn't know who created her. She woke alone; whoever made her walked away, and none of us understood why or how he could. If she hadn't had that…." I tried to explain. "Other sense, if she hadn't seen Jasper and Carlisle and known that she would one day become one of us…she probably would have turned into a total savage." I grinned as I recalled seeing Alice and Jasper's grand entrance into the Cullen family. I had been out hunting, and I saw it all from Carlisle's mind.

"_Carlisle!"_

_"Who's that?" he asked, mostly to himself._

_"Carlisle! Can we join your family?" Alice asked, straight to the point._

_The whole family who happened to be there – everyone but me – came out to greet the newcomers. As they saw Jasper's face, everyone took in a collective gasp._

_"Who. Are. You?" asked Rosalie, her face suspicious. Carlisle laid a hand on her arm._

_"You're one of us." Carlisle was sure of himself; it wasn't a question._

_"Hello, Carlisle. You must be Esme, Carlisle's wife. It's a pleasure to meet you," said Alice, in a bright voice. She shook Esme's hand. Esme stood stock-still, bewildered. _

_"Hi, Emmett! __Hi, Rosalie! How are ya?" She then proceeded to shake Emmett and Rosalie's hands. They both stayed like Esme._

_"Where's that other guy – Edward?" She looked like she was focusing into the distance for a moment. "Oh, okay. He'll be back."_

_Carlisle stepped forward. "Tell me how you know that, dear."_

_"Oh, easy. I can see the future."_

_Silence._

_"How is that?" Carlisle continued, after a moment._

_"I dunno; I just can."_

_"Who's your friend?"_

_"Oh, sorry. This is Jasper. Jasper, dear, introduce yourself."_

_Jasper stepped forward. __"I'm Jasper. __I met Alice a few years ago, perhaps; I was made into a vampire during the Civil War. I was part of the wars in the South. So, Alice said that she could see you, and she saw that we would be one of you someday, and she dragged me with her." Jasper's hand wound around Alice's, who grabbed it tightly and pressed it to her face._

_"So you want to join our family, is that clear?"_

_"Yes, please, Carlisle." Alice frowned. "Or – oh, sorry, do you prefer Dr. Cullen?"_

_"Carlisle, please. And we welcome you with open arms. But there are some restrictions. No human blood, basically."_

_Jasper stiffened. Carlisle looked at him with apology in his eyes. "Is that a problem, Jasper?"_

_"No…Alice warned me about this. In the wars, we were fighting for control over humans and their blood, but I think I can survive on animals."_

_"Can they talk?" Alice cut in, pointing to Emmett, Rosalie, and Esme._

_Instantly, the three relaxed. "Of course!" they said in unison, and laughed at the humor of that. _

_"All righty, then. May we come in and see the inside of your lovely residence?" Alice asked._

_"Of course. You may live in whichever room you like." Esme spoke up, gesturing toward their house. They led the newcomers in._

I'd come home two hours later.

"Oh, hi, Edward!" Alice again.

I stopped. "Yes, I thought that there were two newcomers.

Alice had blocked her mind. _Yes, I know you are a mind reader. So, I have to sing songs in Portuguese because you're going to be mad at me._

"And why is that?"

"Alice!" Jasper called. "Where do you want your bed?"

"Welcome to the family, Alice, Jasper," I greeted them. I didn't know the full details of their arrival yet, but I knew that much. Alice waved to me and pranced in.

I passed the garage and stopped dead.

Literally _everything _in my bedroom was in my garage.

"ALICE!"

Bella's rumbling stomach brought me back to the present, and I instantly was ashamed. I'd forgotten all about her human needs.

"I'm sorry," I murmured in the darkness that had now set on us. "I'm keeping you from dinner." That wasn't the _only_ reason why I was sorry. I was sorry that I had to leave, but at least I'd see her later in her bedroom.

"I'm fine," she protested. "Really."

"I've never spent much time around someone who eats food," I apologized. "I forget."

She hesitated. "I want to stay with you," she whispered. Those words sent a thrill through my body.

Trying to keep my voice calm, I asked, "Can't I come in?"

"Uh…would you like to?" There was uncertainty in her voice.

"Yes. If it's all right," I added. She nodded. I stepped out of her truck and was opening her door before she had even reached the handle.

She smiled that beautiful, irresistible smile up at me. "Very human."

"It's definitely resurfacing," I replied, with a smile of my own.

I tried to avoid contact. I didn't want to push her too far tonight, but she seemed like she…liked that contact. Whatever, I couldn't test my self-control anymore, at the moment, at least.

Stepping onto the porch first, I quickly unlocked the door – so fast that she wouldn't have seen it, really – and instantly regretted it. I'd been spying – stalking – her, and she never knew it.

"The door was unlocked?" she asked.

"No," I replied. "I used the key from under the eave."

She didn't let that go. Her eyebrows were raised as she turned toward me.

I threw up my hands. "I was curious about you."

"You…spied on me?" She actually seemed pleased.

I smiled, bending down toward her slightly. "What else is there to do at night?"

As we headed into her house, she seemed slightly anxious. Why, I couldn't imagine. Was she scared that I wouldn't like her house? I loved it. It was small, quaint, and had a sense of home and comfort. Anyway, it wasn't the house I was in love with. It was this perfect girl who was preparing lasagna – ugh – in front of me.

I sank down into an armchair, which her father was fond of, by the scent.

"How often?" Her question took me off guard.

"Huh?" What a genius reply.

"How often did you come here?" she asked, her eyes on the food in the microwave.

Here goes, I thought. "I come here almost every night." I braced myself for the explosion.

"Why?!" She was looking at me now.

"You're interesting when you sleep; you talk," I explained. What I _couldn't _explain, however, was my intense attraction to her. I had to see her every night, or close enough; I would surely die if I didn't.

"No!" She looked as if she was going to faint, then gripped the kitchen counter. She seemed so embarrassed. Her face flooded red again, sending another bout of flames toward me, and her eyes were wet.

Oh, God. "Are you very angry with me?" I asked, almost timidly.

"That depends!"

"On…?"

"What you heard!"

I had her in my arms as soon as I got my butt out of the chair. "Don't be upset!" I couldn't bear it if she started crying. I took her face ever so gently in mine and made her look up at me. How could I make her believe that I was in love with her? How could she think that I would stop loving her – or worse, make fun of her – because of what I'd heard during the night? I would hurl myself off a cliff if that would make her believe that I loved her. Not that it would do anything to harm me, of course, but something along those lines. Her eyes flitted to my face, full of embarrassment, and glanced away again.

I held her face securely in my hands, still not letting her go. "You miss you mother; you worry about her," I murmured, my voice soothing. "And when it rains, the sound makes you…restless. You used to talk about home a lot, but it's less often now. Once you said, 'it's too green'." I chuckled slightly, trying to raise her spirits.

She wasn't done yet. "Anything else?"

I sighed; there was no denying the truth. "You did say my name."

"A lot?" Her face heated under my hands, and I inhaled deeply, again.

Well, if a lot was over six or seven times a night, on average…. "How much do you mean by…a lot, exactly?"

"Oh, no…." She dropped her head again.

"Don't be self-conscious." I hugged her gently to my hard chest, feeling her warmth and softness press against me so delicately. It felt so right. "If I could dream at all," I whispered, my lips at her ear, "it would be about you. And…I'm _not_ ashamed of it." I spoke the words with true conviction, letting my true feelings for Bella engulf me from head to toe.

We stayed like that for a moment, in the middle of the kitchen, my arms around her waist, and her face buried in my shoulder. I knew that Charlie would be here soon – his thoughts were cheerful, lingering on the catch that he had made today – but I held Bella closer until the car pulled up the driveway.

"Should your father know I'm here?" I whispered.

"I'm not sure." Her eyes were wary, looking at the door.

"Another time then," I promised. She would certainly be happy tonight. I unwillingly tore my arms from her and raced up the stairs.

"Edward!" she whispered loudly.

I allowed myself a small laugh, in Bella's bedroom. Then there was nothing to do but…wait.

Oh, joy. Now there was nothing to do but pace around Bella's bedroom and listen to various thoughts and voices.

_We've got enough fish to last through two years, if they don't spoil! I told Billy that that place was teeming with fish. I'm getting bored of the same old fish dishes, though. Maybe I should suggest some other…but no, there's only so much that a teenager can do. Perhaps I shouldn't have her make fish tonight…oh, problem solved, she's started dinner already…mm! Lasagna…. _I let his thoughts fade into the back of my mind.

"Bella?" Charlie called to his daughter.

"In here!" she replied. I picked up the panic in her voice.

_Lasagna sound delicious. Ah…it smells almost exactly like Grandma's._ I, for one, wondered what was up with all these _Grandma's_ these days. Cookies…just like Grandma's. Pumpkin pies…just like Grandma's. Chicken…just like Grandma's. It was such an overused cliché.

"Can you get me some of that?" Charlie asked. "I'm bushed."

I head Bella bustling about the kitchen. Charlie was oblivious, at first.

A thud indicated Charlie's plate. "Thanks."

"How was your day?" Bella asked. I could hear her chewing. Instead, I fixed my attentions on the pumping of her heart.

"Good. The fish were biting." _I should quit being the Chief, actually, and just set up a fish market._ "How about you? Did you get everything done that you wanted to?"

"Not really," Bella replied. I could pick up the edge, the meaning, of her words. "It was too nice to stay indoors."

"It _was_ a nice day," Charlie murmured, in agreement.

I heard Bella swallow as she gulped her milk down. Charlie, no longer in his state of triumph and oblivion, was suspicious now.

_I didn't know that she had a boyfriend…wow. Guys are hitting on her already…no, maybe better not jump to conclusions. If he brings home that Tyler who just about killed her…no, I won't get my gun…yes I would…no I wouldn't…I would never hurt Bella like that…oh, who am I kidding? I would shoot that son of a bitch right then and there! No offense to Mr. Crowley, that is…._

I smothered my laughs in Bella's pillow. It smelled so much like her – so nice, so feminine – that I hugged it closer to my face, and breathed in and out.

"In a hurry?" Charlie asked Bella, who was trying to act casual, now.

"Yeah. I'm tired." I could hear perfectly well that she was lying. "I'm going to bed early."

_Aha! She _does_ have a secret boyfriend! Well, if she's not in bed when I check on her tonight, she can look forward to being grounded till she's twenty-four._

"You look kind of keyed up." His thoughts continued barreling down the path, assuming that she was going to sneak out. Please, Bella, I thought. Fabricate a passing excuse!

"Do I?" she muttered.

_Uh-oh. Knew it._ "It's Saturday," Charlie stated, plainly.

"No plans tonight?"

"No, Dad." Bella was speaking through gritted teeth.

"None of the boys in town your type, eh?" **(AN: I forget this one…word by word…so I'm going along with my memory. Sorry!) **Charlie seemed extremely suspicious now.

"None of the _boys_ in _town_ have caught my eye yet." I laughed into her sweet-smelling pillow again. She was so funny – I wondered how far she would go to not lie to Charlie.

"I thought maybe that Mike Newton…." _Newton's a good kid. I'm glad that she isn't going out with any of the other crazy young men in town._ "You said he was friendly." I was boiling with fury, my good mood out the window. He seemed to assume that she was going out with that vile Mike who can't stop flirting with her and was now trying to act like me in a hopeless, desperate effort to make Bella his! I growled, a deep, menacing sound emanating from my chest.

"He's _just a friend_, Dad." Was it just my hope, or did Bella really sound annoyed by Charlie's assumption, too?

_Sure he is._ "Well, you're too good for them all, anyway. Wait till you get to college to start looking." Charlie was still suspicious.

"Sounds like a good idea to me," Bella lied – I hoped – as she mounted the stairs.

"'Night, honey." _I'll believe her if she's in her bed at twelve._

"See you in the morning, Dad." I heard her approach this room.

This was my cue. I placed the pillow right back on her bed, and hid in a corner behind the door so that she wouldn't see me.

Bella shut the door loudly, then crept to her window, unaware that I was watching her from behind, and that I couldn't take my eyes off her. I realized that I hadn't breathed since she entered the room, and I gladly took another painful breath, since it meant she was still with me.

"Edward?" she called softly into the darkness of the trees outside her window.

I crept silently onto her bed, and put my hands behind my head. "Yes?" I asked, laughing softly.

Her gasp was audible, even to human ears. I flashed a concerned glance to her direction, and she had a hand pressed to her chest, and she was on the floor.

I slowly stood up and walked toward her. Leaning forward gently, I picked her up and dragged her back onto the bed with me. "I'm sorry," I joked.

"Just give me a minute to restart my heart," she pleaded.

"Why don't you sit with me?" I held her hand in mine, relishing the warmth. "How's the heart?" It was a stupid question, no doubt; I could hear it pounding away.

"You tell me," she retorted, as if she could read my mind. "I'm sure you hear it better than I do.

That did it. She threw me into a complete and total laughing fit.

When my laughter subsided, I managed to calm down and hold her hand again. I felt her pulse pounding against my hand, and I loved it. I couldn't kill her. I just couldn't.

She was silent for a while; curiosity nearly took my life as I tried to think of what she might be thinking of.

"Can I have a moment? To be human?" she asked, biting her lip unconsciously.

As much as I'd loved to see her in the shower…."Certainly," I agreed, gesturing toward the door.

"Stay," she ordered. I was happy to do anything she told me to.

"Yes, ma'am," I replied, staying absolutely still on her bed.

She snatched whatever she needed and left, closing the door behind her.

I concentrated on Bella and Bella only. I could hear the toothbrush glide over her teeth as she stood over the sink; I tried to imagine that. I could hear the rustle of cloth against skin and tried to imagine her undressing. How her shirt would glide off her back, how she would take off her undergarments, how I wished that I were the one doing it….

No! What was I doing? Lustful, lustful, lustful. I shook my head in anger.

I heard the shower running, and six minutes later, she was back in her clothes, but her pajamas, this time. I heard her feet pound down the stairs as she bid Charlie goodnight again.

I didn't pay attention to it; instead, I imagined Bella, here where I could see her, again. Where I could hold her, where I could love her. I waited as her footsteps climbed back up the stairs – so slowly! – and the door opened, and the room was filled with her pure, heavenly, painful scent again. This time, it had a hint of strawberries to it that only benefited her.

"Nice," I murmured, my eyes running up and down her body. I could tell that she was slightly uncomfortable, but I couldn't stop my eyes from lingering on her chest, her legs, her inner thighs, and all other places that sent shivers down my spine and feelings rushing to my groin.

She made a face as she stepped toward me.

"No," I protested. "It looks good on you."

"Thanks." She curled herself up next to me, sitting cross-legged, and pushing her warmth to me. I breathed in again.

"What was all that for?" I asked. I knew anyway: to put Charlie's mind at rest. It was in vain, sadly; he was still going to come check on us.

"Charlie thinks I'm sneaking out."

I wanted to hear her beautiful voice again. "Oh, why?"

She sighed. "Apparently…I look a little overexcited."

Wanting to be closer to her…if I couldn't do _that _to her – which I obviously couldn't, with my lack of self-control around her and all – I wanted to still be intimate. Somehow.

"You look very warm, actually," I commented, lifting her face to mine with a finger. Her face flushed again – how many times in a day now?

I slowly bent my face to hers, never breaking eye contact. I brushed my cheek against hers, absorbing the precious warmth.

"Mmm," I sighed, in pure delight and happiness.

She wanted to say something, but she didn't know how to frame it. I gave her time. "It seems to be much easier for you now, to be close to me," she stammered out.

"Does it seem that way to you?" I whispered, trying to make my voice seductive – and failing, I believe. I moved my face so that I was brushing my nose against her chin. Slowly, I reached up to gently flip her hair behind her shoulders. I reached up to kiss the spot below her ear. I could hear her gasping in pleasure. That spot, under her ear, must be a tender spot for her…I wouldn't forget that.

"Much, much easier," she answered.

"Hmmmm…." I couldn't frame anything else, either. I was too far gone.

"So I was wondering," she began, but she couldn't say any more because I was – successfully, finally! – distracting her. With my lips still pressed under her ear, and listening to her pulse, too, thudding right beneath my lips, I was gliding my hands along her collarbone, the most delicate place on her body that I could access at the moment.

"Yes?" I asked, gasping a bit, too.

"Why is that – " her voice trembled slightly, and she heated up again " – do you think?"

An easy explanation for that. I took my time; slowly gliding my lips to her neck, where the pounding of her blood was the strongest. I sucked on her skin, and I winced in pain as the flavor of her skin reached me. It was pleasant and excruciating all at once.

"Mind over matter," I murmured, chuckling into her neck.

She pulled back. I instantly pulled my lips away from her skin, shocked. Oh, no. I'd blown this again. I'd moved too quickly for her, and now she was going to….

"Did I do something wrong?" I asked, anxious.

"No," she breathed, and I felt a crash of relief at that. "The opposite. You're driving me crazy."

I allowed myself a small smile. Yes, I was doing it! I was letting her know how I felt toward her – physically, that is – and she felt the same!

At least, I hoped that she did. "Really?" I asked, slightly breathless.

Bella rolled her eyes. "Would you like a round of applause?"

I sighed in happiness. "I'm just pleasantly surprised. In the last…hundred years or so, I never imagined anything like this. I didn't believe that I would ever find someone I wanted to be with, in another way than my brothers and sisters." I paused to gaze meaningfully at her. "And then to find, even though it's all new…that I'm _good_ at it…at being with _you_."

Even in my human years, I'd never given a crap about finding someone I wanted to live my life out with. I wanted to be a soldier, to defend my country. If I'd found a girl, I wouldn't have cared too much. But if I'd found Bella….

"You're good at everything," she muttered.

I shrugged. She collapsed on me, both of us laughing. I took the moment to take another painful breath, when she was on me. Ouch. Okay, so it didn't hurt quite as much as the first times I'd met her – which was good. But still, it was painful.

"But how can it be so easy now? This afternoon – "

"It's not easy," I interrupted. "But this afternoon I was still undecided." I'd never found my true feelings – how I'd wanted her, lusted after her immensely – until she was on my back and I was running. "I am sorry about that," I apologized sincerely. "It was unforgivable for me to behave so." I hung my head.

Her eyes were disagreeing. "Not _unforgivable._"

"Thank you," I murmured, staring into her eyes now. "You see, I wasn't sure if I was strong enough…." Oh, Lord, I was at a loss of words. This never really happened before when I was a vampire. Sure, I'd had to search for words sometimes, but I'd never been stuck like this before in the last ninety years. I held her hand delicately to my face. I pressed her wrist to my nose, and breathed in the flames. "And while there was still that possibility that I might be overcome…" I pressed my tongue ever so gently against it, and took in the amazing, delicious, tempting taste that set me on fire all over again.

"I was…I was susceptible," I whispered. "Until I made up my mind that I was strong enough, that there was no possibility at all that I ever would…that I ever could – " Oh, shit, I had no idea what to say. I fell silent, not finishing that sentence.

"So there's no possibility now?" she asked hesitantly.

"Mind over matter," I replied simply, smiling against her hand.

"Wow," she muttered. "That was easy."

I laughed, throwing my head back. I nearly fell back onto the bed. "Easy for _you!_" I teased.

And then I sobered up. "I'm trying," I said persuasively. "If it gets to be too much…." I didn't want to say this; every word was digging painfully into my heart. "I'm fairly sure I'll be able to leave."

I could see her pained expression. "And it will be harder tomorrow," I admitted sadly. "I've had the scent of _you_ in my head all day, and I've grown amazingly…desensitized. If I'm away from you for _any_ length of time, I'll have to start all over again. Not from scratch though. I think."

She grabbed my hand and squeezed it. "Don't go away, then," she pleaded.

"That suits me," I murmured, smiling. "Bring on the shackles; I'm your prisoner." At the same moment, I wished that what I said _was_ true. I wished that she _was_ a vampire, that she could keep me here, forever. My hands wrapped around her pulsing, warm wrists as I spoke.

I chuckled again, which caused her to be slightly skeptical. "You seem more optimistic than usual," she whispered. "I haven't seen you like this, before."

I grinned. "Isn't it supposed to be like this?" I asked, having zero experience in relationships. "The glory of first love…and all that…it's incredible, isn't it, the difference between reading about something, seeing it in the pictures, and experiencing it?" I held her tighter.

She breathed unsteadily, her heart fluttering again. "Very different; more forceful than I'd imagined."

"For example, the emotion of jealousy. I've read about it a hundred thousand times, seen actors portray it in a thousand different plays and movies." I had to remind myself to slow down, otherwise Bella wouldn't understand. "I believed I understood that one pretty clearly. But it shocked me – " I winced " – do you remember the day that Mike asked you to the dance?" The day when I'd wanted to rip the boy in two.

"The day you started talking to me again," she agreed, nodding.

"I was surprised…by the flare of resentment – almost _fury_ – that I felt. I didn't even recognize what it was, at first. I was even more aggravated than usual that I couldn't know what you were thinking. Why you refused him," I confessed, my voice soft. "Was it simply for your friend's sake…was there someone else? I knew I had no right to care either way – I _tried_ not to care. And then the line started forming." I laughed into her hand, and I saw her frown again.

"I waited, unreasonably anxious, to hear what you would say to them…to watch your expressions. I couldn't deny the relief I felt, watching the annoyance on your face – but I _couldn't_ be sure." I looked up at her again, and her face was calm, with no sign of irritation or boredom.

"That was the first night I came here," I continued, and felt her tense in my arms. "I wrestled all night, while watching you sleep…with the chasm between what I knew was right, moral, ethical – and what I _wanted_." I stared intently into her eyes, begging her to understand. "I knew that if I continued to ignore you as I _should_, or if I left for a few years, till you were…_gone_…that someday you would say yes to Mike or someone like him. It made me angry." I didn't want her to be with a human, even though _I_ would never be right for her.

"And then, as you were sleeping, you said my name," I murmured, a shiver running down my back as I recalled the shock and the pleasure of that moment. "You spoke so clearly…at first, I thought you'd woken. But you rolled over restlessly and mumbled my name once more, and sighed." I sighed, too, at the memory. The knowledge that she was dreaming of _me_. "The feeling that coursed through me was unnerving…staggering…and I knew I couldn't ignore you any longer." I paused, hearing her heartbeat quicken at the mention of me, in her dreams. I took that as a good sign, and continued.

"But jealousy! It's a strange thing. So much more powerful than I would have thought, and irrational! Just now when Charlie asked you about that vile Mike Newton – " I stopped to shake my head.

She groaned. "I should have know you'd be listening," she muttered.

"Of course." Didn't she know that?

"That made you feel jealous, though?" she asked hesitantly. "Really?"

"I'm new at this," I admitted. "You're resurrecting the human in me – and everything feels stronger because it's fresh."

"But honestly," she laughed, "for that to bother you after I have to heart hat Rosalie…." She paused for a second, gauging my expression, which was carefully guarded. "Rosalie, the incarnation of pure beauty! Rosalie! Was meant for you. Emmett or no Emmett…how can I compete with _that_?!"

I couldn't believe that she was doing this again; making herself feel worthless by comparing herself to vampire females. "There's no competition," I assured her. As carefully as I could, I pulled her hands behind my back, so that she was wrapped around me. I relaxed in the warmth of her body, and I could feel her head pushing into my chest. My breath sped up minutely.

"I know there's no competition," she murmured, somewhat sadly. "That's the problem."

"Of course, Rosalie _is_ beautiful in her own way," I admitted. "But even if she wasn't like a sister to me, even if Emmett didn't belong with her, she could never have one tenth, no, one hundredth of the attraction you hold for me." I gazed into her depthless eyes, which stared back. She would be my one and only love for eternity. "For almost _ninety_ years I've walked among my kind and yours, all the time thinking I was complete in myself – " I snorted at my foolishness " – not realizing what I was seeking. And not finding anything," I whispered, slightly painfully. "Because you weren't alive yet."

She bowed her head into my chest, and listened to my breathing, which I tried to keep steady. "It hardly seems fair," she objected, her lips pressed to my shirt. I could feel the warmth of her lips on my chest. "I haven't had to wait, at all. Why should I get off so easily?"

I was thrown into chuckles again. Silly Bella; she had all that messed up, like she always did. "You're right; I should make this harder for you, definitely. "I teased her lightly. I took on of my hands off her wrists, and put it in my other hand. Her small hands fit easily into my larger one. With my free hand, I ran my fingers through her hair gently, soaking in the scent and the warmth, and swept it behind her ear. My hand slid from the top of her head to her waist, over and over, feeling slight pleasure when she shivered. "You only have to risk your life every second you spend with me. That's surely not much. You only have to turn your back on nature, on humanity, what's that worth?" I hoped that she could tell I was teasing.

"Very little," she muttered. "I don't feel deprived of anything."

"Not yet," I whispered, trying to keep my sadness out of my voice. She didn't understand how wrong this was, to be with me. She was young, she had no idea.

My mind snapped back to the present when I heard the TV downstairs turn off. Charlie's heavy footsteps ascended the stairs. _She'd _better _be in her room, or else…._

I yanked myself from Bella, and quickly rolled myself off and under her bed.

"What?" she asked.

"Lie down!" I whispered from where I was. I heard cloth rustle above me, and hoped that she was acting like she was really asleep. I nearly groaned out loud when I heard the extremely exaggerated breathing.

The door opened a little bit, Charlie's head poked in, and the door closed again. _Good, she's in her bed. That kid does look like she needed a bit of sleep._

Bella was still keeping up the pretense, not knowing that we were safe.

I snuck under the covers with her, feeling a thrill of delight, and pushed myself over her, my arm wrapped securely around her waist, and my lips kissing her ear.

"You are a _terrible_ actress," I assured her jokingly. "I'd say that career path is out for you."

"Darn it," she moaned, but I could hear her heartbeat speed up as she became aware of how close I was to her.

Unconsciously, I hummed her lullaby. "Should I sing you to sleep?" I asked her, unsure of her response.

She snorted. "Right, like I could sleep with _you_ here!"

"You do it all the time."

"But I didn't know you were here."

"So, if you don't want to sleep," I murmured, leaning away from her again.

"If I don't want to sleep?"

"What do you want to do then?" I asked, laughing gently.

She hesitated. "I'm not sure," she admitted.

"Tell me," I breathed, making myself bear the decreasing pain. "When you decide.

I dipped my lips to her neck, where her blood rushed the quickest, and ran my mouth up and down it. Ahh…the thirst threatened to consume me. I brushed my nose and lips everywhere, up her jaw, across her chin, to her face – but never her lips, her chest….

"I thought you were desensitized," she whispered, her heart racing.

"Just because I'm resisting the wine doesn't mean I can't appreciate the bouquet," I murmured. "You have a very floral smell," I commented. "Like lavender. Or freesia." Altogether lovely and feminine. So much that I wanted to grab her and kiss her. "It's…mouthwatering." In a different way, of course.

"Yeah," she agreed sarcastically. "It's an off day when I don't get _somebody_ – " she poked me gently " – telling me how edible I smell."

I laughed, then exhaled loudly.

"I've decided what I want to do – I want to hear more about you."

A reasonable request. "Ask me anything," I invited, leaning back.

"Why do you…do it?" she asked, her eyes flashing to my face to make sure that this was all right. I gave her a nod. "I still don't understand how you can work so hard to resist what you are. Please don't misunderstand," she added hastily. "Of course I'm _glad_ that you do. I just don't see why you would bother in the first place."

I paused. "That's a good question," I admitted. "And you are not the first one to ask it. The others, the majority of our kind who are quite content with our lot, they, too, wonder at how we live. But you see, just because we've been…." I trailed off, searching for words. "Dealt a certain hand, it doesn't mean that we can't choose to rise above. To conquer the boundaries of a destiny that none of us wanted." I was aware that she'd closed her eyes to listen to me, and I continued. "To try to retain whatever essential humanity we can."

She stayed silent; her heart and her breathing were the only sounds in the room.

"Uh…did you fall asleep?"

"No," she whispered, her eyes flying open again, sending the slightest wave of warmth to me.

"Is that all you were curious about?" I teased her.

"Not quite," she muttered, rolling her eyes.

I shifted myself on her bed. "What else do you want to know?" I asked.

"Why can you read minds? Why only you?" She asked another good question. "And Alice…seeing the future…why does that happen?"

I shrugged. "We don't really know," I confessed. "Carlisle has a _theory_, he believes that we all bring something of our strongest human traits with us into the next life…where they are intensified. Like our minds and our senses. He thinks that I must have already been very sensitive to the thoughts of those around me, and that Alice had some precognition, wherever she was."

"What did he bring into the next life? And the others?" The questions came quickly now.

"Carlisle brought his compassion, Esme brought her ability to love passionately, Emmett brought his strength, Rosalie her tenacity." I paused in my listing. "Or you could call it pigheadedness." I tried to think of how to describe Jasper. "Jasper is very interesting; he was quite charismatic in his first life, able to influence the emotions of those around him – calm down a room of angry people, for example, or excite a lethargic crowd, conversely. It's a very subtle gift." But very powerful, I added silently.

She paused for a moment to take in all that, before continuing. "So where did it all start? I mean, Carlisle changed you, and then someone must have changed him, and so on." Her eyes were wide as she stared into my face.

"Well, where did _you_ come from?" I murmured, feeling uncomfortable, because the questions she asked were not easy ones. I was never used to feeling so doubtful of my answers. "Evolution? Creation? Couldn't we have evolved in the same way as other species, predator and prey? Or if you don't believe that all this world could have just happened on its own – " which I didn't " – which is hard for me to accept, myself, is it so hard to believe that the same force that created the delicate angelfish with the shark, the baby seal and the killer whale, could create both our kinds together?" I realized that I was subconsciously comparing Bella and I, over and over, showing the extreme differences between the two of us. I was the shark, the killer whale. The shark falls in love with the angelfish, yet he's extremely hungry. That puts the angelfish in a very comfortable position, surely.

"Let me get this straight," she cut in. "I'm the baby seal, right?"

I chuckled; she was pretty smart – of course, I'd known that already. I leaned hesitantly toward her, and then pressed my lips to her hair. My lips slid gently down her back, following her hair, leaving a trail of venom from my mouth. I hastily wiped it away. "Right," I answered.

She turned to see if I was really kissing her hair, then stopped and turned back.

"Are you ready to sleep?" I asked in a gentle voice. "Or do you have any more questions?"

"Only about a million," she replied. "Or two."

"We have tomorrow," I reminded her, a smile slipping onto my face. "And the next day, and the next." She smiled too, a breathtaking smile that would have made me faint if I were human.

"Are you sure you won't vanish in the morning?" she asked. I nearly choked on my laughter. "You are mythical, after all."

I became serious. "I won't leave you." And I knew instantly that that was a promise I could not keep.

"One more then, tonight." And I could see her cheeks redden, and her body heat under mine.

"What is it?" I murmured. What could make her so embarrassed?

"No, forget it," she assured me. "I changed my mind."

"Bella, you can ask me _anything_," I promised.

She stayed silent. After a while, I groaned in frustration. I nearly pounded my fist into her bed, but then remembered that Charlie wouldn't be happy if her bed was mangled up.

"I keep thinking it will get less frustrating," I murmured. "Not hearing your thoughts. But it just gets worse and _worse_!"

"I'm glad you can't read my thoughts," she disagreed. "It's bad enough that you eavesdrop on my sleep-talking." When she mentioned her thoughts, she colored again, just a bit. I hoped that that was a good sign.

I tried to be seductive – anything to persuade her to tell me. "Please?" I leaned in toward her.

She deliberated for a moment, and shook her head. That made me wonder. What could possibly be so embarrassing that she couldn't talk to me about it? She wasn't thinking about…having…that…was she?

"If you don't tell me, I'll just assume it's something much worse than it is," I muttered. Too late, though – I'd already begun to assume. "Please?" I begged again.

"Well…." She trailed off, at a loss for words.

I leaned even closer. "Yes?" I breathed.

"You said that Rosalie and Emmett will get married soon. Is that marriage the…same as it is, for humans?"

I laughed freely now, but part of me was relieved. If she'd taken the _other_ train of thought…I didn't know what I'd have done. "Is that what you're getting at?" I asked, when my fit of laughter had subsided just a bit. However, I was glad that she'd asked. It meant that she thought of me in _that way_, enough to ask about marriage. But she was…_too_ young….

She looked down and played with the edge of her worn shirt.

"Yes, I suppose it is much the same." I thought of Rosalie and Emmett's _several_ marriages. All the _I do_'s and _Do you take this man/woman as your lawfully wedded husband/wife_'s were much the same. And afterwards, the "honeymoon"…and what was worse, I'd been cursed with a mind-reading talent.

"I told you," I continued. "Most of those…human desires are there. Just hidden behind more powerful desires." I hoped that she would understand where I was going. I desired her. Her blood, certainly, but also every other part o her.

"Oh," she answered, simply.

I took in a deep breath. "Was there a – a _purpose_ behind your curiosity?"

Her body became warm again. "Well, I did wonder. About you and me, someday." She finished and looked away.

My posture stiffened. It wasn't because I didn't want her that way. It was because I wanted so badly to say yes. And I knew in my heart that I never could be with her, in matrimony. She was a human, and I was her predator.

Trying to not stammer my way through the words. "I don't think that that would be possible for us," I murmured, pain visible in my voice.

She seemed slightly hurt, but understanding. My heart ached when I saw how she felt. I would give anything, anything at all, to be human right now. "Because it would be too hard for you if I were that close?" she asked with longing.

"That's certainly a problem," I acknowledged. "But that's not what I was thinking of. It's just that you are so soft – so fragile. I have to mind my actions _every moment_ that we're together, so I don't hurt you. I could kill you quite easily, Bella, simply by accident." If I were human, tears would be streaming from my eyes right now. I hated being strong. I hated that my strength would be what separated me from Bella…forever. We'd never be able to be together. In fact, I should really leave her right now. It would be just so much harder if I were to leave afterwards, when our bond became even stronger.

I reached up to touch her face, being sure to mind my every movement. "If I was too hasty, if for one second, I wasn't paying enough attention, I could reach out – meaning to touch your face – and crush your skull by mistake. You don't realize how incredibly…breakable you are. I can never, never afford to lose _any_ kind of control when I'm with you." Those words hung in the air, and Bella did not speak.

"Are you scared?" I asked, when the silence had stretched much too long.

"No," she whispered, though her voice shook slightly. "I'm fine."

I debated whether to reassure her more, or to let it go. I let it go. "I'm curious no, though – have you ever…?" I didn't finish the sentence, because she knew what I meant.

"Of course not," she denied. "I told you, I've never felt like this about anyone before. Not even _close_."

Truth to tell, I still found that slightly hard to believe. Bella was every male's dream – and she'd never even gone out with anyone? Incredible. I supposed that I was very honored to be her first…but I didn't know.

"I know," I sighed. "It's just that I know other people's thoughts – I know love and lust don't always keep the same company." But they did for me. I loved Bella, and I also lusted after her. Stupid, stupid, stupid. I didn't know if she felt love, or lust, when she was with me.

"They do for me," she admitted. "Now, anyway, that they exist for me at all."

"That's nice," I murmured, a bit happier. "We have that one thing in common, at least." And the fact that we were both pale, of course, but I didn't think that it was an appropriate addition to our conversation.

She seemed to deliberate something, and just when I was about to explode out of curiosity, she spoke. "Your human instincts – well, do you find me attractive in _that_ way at all?" She bit her lip as she waited for my answer.

I laughed again – I was certainly doing a lot of that tonight – and ran my fingers gently through her silky, soft, nearly dry brown hair. "I may not be a human," I whispered in her ear. "But I _am_ a man." And she had no idea how attractive I deemed her.

I heard her jaw open, and she yawned. It was fascinating, and she seemed so adorable when she did it.

"I've answered your questions," I told her. "Now you should sleep."

"I'm not sure…if I can," she admitted.

"Do you want me to leave?" As much as that pained me, I had to give her a choice.

"No!" she very nearly shouted. I heard Charlie's snores stutter just a bit, and relax back into a rhythm.

I pushed her back onto the bed so that she was lying down, and I lay next to her. My arm was still around her, and I pulled her tightly to me, Her head pushed into my chest, and I relaxed in her warmth. I hummed her lullaby to her, again, and soon her breathing and pulse relaxed into a fixed rhythm.

After an hour, she spoke.

"Edward," she murmured. I felt weak when I heard how she said my name. It was absolutely beautiful. My arm tightened around her sleeping form.

"Yes, my love," I answered, though she couldn't hear me.

"Stay. Don't leave, Edward."

"Of course not, my beautiful."

"Stay with me, my Edward."

"Yes." I was reeling. She'd called me _her_ Edward.

"You're my life now, Edward…."

That made me start, though I didn't move. "Am I?"

"You're the love of my life."

I felt faint.

"I love you, Edward. I love you."

I hugged her to me and pressed my lips to her forehead. "Of course, sleep, my beautiful. Sleep."

"Do you love me?" her unconscious voice pressed.

"Yes," I breathed. "Yes, you're my life."

She didn't speak any more.

At around five a.m., when the sky became gray, I slipped away from Bella. I desperately wanted to stay, but I had to change. Damn it, I wanted to stay with her.

As fast as I could, I flew back to the house in about one full minute. I pulled on clean clothes, and flew back out before anyone in the house could ask me what was going on, though they probably already knew.

_You'll be fine, bro. _Alice showed me how I was going to introduce Bella to the family today. I felt a thrill of excitement. Yes, most definitely, that was what I needed to do next.

When I was back at Bella's bedside, I pulled her into my arms for another several hours. Finally, as I heard Charlie stir, I retreated to her rocking chair, in the corner of the room, and waited for my love to rise.

**AN: Sorry that it's taking so long to update! I want to really capture Edward's mind but it's a bit difficult because I'm neither a male nor a vampire! And sorry for any flaws in the writing because you can only fit so many Word documents on a computer screen at once and it's hard to type well when half the screen is covered up so it wasn't easy and please excuse the mistakes and that is all oh and REVIEW! THANKS!**


	4. The Cullens

The Cullens

When she stirred, sending a wave of her delicious scent in my direction, I held my breath and forced myself to be still.

Beautiful Bella rolled over on her side, and groaned. Suddenly, she sat herself up.

"Oh," she muttered.

"Your hair looks like a…haystack," I commented, my voice gentle. "But I like it."

"Edward!" she cried, flinging herself across the room – not tripping on anything, thank goodness – and into my lap. "You stayed!"

She shocked me at first. I wasn't expecting her to act so quickly, and a huge tidal wave of her scent was shoved in my face. As soon as she landed in my lap, she glanced up at me, embarrassed.

It was quite all right, though. "Of course," I said, happy that she still wanted me. I didn't know, or maybe I was just stupid, but I thought that overnight she might change her mind about how she thought of me. Must be stupidity. I rubbed her back gently, and reveled in the warmth.

She put her head back against my chest, and took a deep breath. I could feel the rise and fall of her body.

"I was sure it was a dream," she mused, dazed.

I chuckled. "You're not that creative."

She jumped up again. "Charlie!" She half-ran to the door.

"He left an hour ago, after reattaching your battery cables, I might add," I told her. If Charlie thought that she would just stop when she saw her disassembled truck, he was way off base. "I have to admit, I was disappointed – is that really all it would take to stop you if you were determined to go?" I asked.

She stopped in her tracks, and looked at me, then the door, and back at me. I laughed gently. She seemed so lost.

"You're not usually this…confused in the morning," I commented, and then opened my arms again; in case she wanted to come back to me. She did.

"I need another human minute." She glanced up at me, and I smiled back.

"I'll wait," I promised.

She dashed off into her bathroom and closed the door. I could hear everything she was doing – I could hear the comb rustling through her beautiful mahogany hair, I could hear the water splash against her face, I could hear the bristles of her toothbrush making contact with her teeth.

As soon as she could, she came back to me and buried herself in my arms. Her heartbeat accelerated until it was going very, very fast.

I bent my head down to her ear. "Welcome back."

Since we were on a rocking chair, after all, I rocked us back and forth for a moment. She seemed content to just sit in my lap.

Her head lifted when she fingered the collar of my shirt. My breaths sped up, I knew that much. "You left?" she asked, trying to sound angry, and not doing so well.

"I could hardly leave in the clothes I came in," I chuckled, amused. "What would the neighbors think?" Though to be honest, I didn't give a crap about what they thought.

Her lips fashioned themselves into an attractive, adorable pout.

"You were very deeply asleep," I assured her. "I didn't miss anything; the talking came earlier."

She buried her head into my shirt. "What did you hear?" she asked, defeated.

I lifted her face and looked into her deep eyes with tenderness. Her love flashed back at me. "You said…you loved me."

Her head ducked down. "You knew that already."

"It was nice to hear," I told her, remembering the feeling that jolted me. "Just the same."

Her lips were against my chest now. "I love you," she said softly, her lips moving against my skin.

"You are my life now." It was true. If she…ceased to exist, I knew without a doubt that I would take myself away from this world as soon as possible, too.

We sat in silence, rocking back and forth. I gazed adoringly upon the face of this angel that was the number one priority in my previously wretched, meaningless life.

Eventually, when several minutes had slipped by, I started to move. "Breakfast time," I reminded her, feeling a twinge of satisfaction for remembering.

Her eyes grew horrified, and her hands flew to her throat. I was…well, freaked out didn't even begin to describe it. I stared at her in disbelief.

"Kidding!" she laughed as her terrifying expression slipped off. "And you said I couldn't act!"

I glared down at her. "That wasn't very…funny," I scolded her.

"It was very funny!" she declared. "And you know it."

She looked up at me as an afterthought, and I smiled down at her, unable to stay upset.

"Shall I rephrase? Breakfast time for the _human_," I clarified.

"Oh," she murmured. "Okay."

Unable to keep my self-control anymore, I picked her up and flung her over my shoulder – being careful and gentle. She gasped and then sighed. "I can walk down the _stairs_ by myself! Put me down!"

I ignored her and set her in a chair in the kitchen. Her expression was undeniably cute. She folded her hands in her lap and smiled up at me. "What's for breakfast?" she asked, smirking.

Ugh, food. Disgusting, vile, repulsive food. I remembered that Carlisle had said that we actually _could_ keep ourselves from throwing the food up, but it would be impossible, since our systems automatically rejected food took in liquids like blood instead, and since it was too disgusting for our preferences. However, we had acid in our stomachs, so if we were to keep the food in our system for maybe a day or two, the food would dissolve.

"Er…uh, I'm not sure, what would you like?" However averse I was to the idea, if Bella wanted to eat, I would cook for her. I probably needed practice if I was ever to be her husb – no! I forced my mind to go down another path.

She laughed and jumped out of her chair. "That's all right," she chuckled, the sound like music. "Watch me hunt."

A bowl of cereal and milk wasn't very elaborate, for a breakfast, but I felt nauseated all the same. I concentrated on Bella's so very desirable scent and blocked all other smells from my mind.

"Um, can I get you anything?" Bella asked me, her eyes anxious.

I rolled my eyes in disgust – not at her, of course, but at the food. Disgusting, vile, repulsive load of crap. "Just eat, Bella," I told her.

She took a few mouthfuls of her cereal and chugged down some of her milk. My eyes were trained intently on her all the time. Every action, even eating, seemed like something amazing. I inhaled deeply and lost myself in her smell for a moment. It was fruity, floral, and sweet. So wonderfully feminine.

"What's on the agenda today?" Bella's voice cut into my marveling.

I watched her carefully, wanting to see if she approved of this idea. "Hm, what would you say to meeting my family?" I asked in reply.

Her eyes became nervous, and she swallowed uneasily.

"Are you afraid now?" Good. I was beginning to think that this girl had no sense of self-preservation.

It seemed like she were about to deny it, then she nodded. "Yes." I was looking straight into her eyes, and I could see the truth in them.

"Don't worry; I'll protect you." Some guardian angel I was.

"I'm not afraid of…of them. I'm afraid they won't like me," she confided, her voice soft. "Won't they be…well, surprised that you would bring someone like me home to meet _them_? Do they _know_ that I know about them?"

Her fears were so irrational that I rolled my eyes slightly.

"Oh, they already know everything," I told her. "They'd taken bets yesterday, you know, on whether I'd bring you back." My voice tightened when I thought of that idea. "Though why anyone would bet against _Alice_, I can't imagine. At any rate…we don't have secrets in the family. It's not really feasible, what with my mind reading…and Alice seeing the future…and all that," I explained in a rush.

She smirked again. "And Jasper making you feel all fuzzy about spilling your guts. Don't forget that."

I glanced down at her lovingly. "You paid attention."

"I've been known to do that. Every now and then." All of a sudden, her eyes tensed. "So did Alice see me coming?"

It was hard to talk coherently when she referred to Alice and her visions. All I could think of was me feeding off Bella's body or her eyes the blood red of a monster like me. Neither of the options I preferred for my sweet angel. "Something like that," I barely croaked out. Her eyes were inquiring, and I looked away, not wanting to lose my mind in those deep eyes.

I sighed as I turned back to her – I didn't have the self-control to keep my face away from her. "Is that any good?" I asked her, gesturing to her breakfast. "Honestly…it doesn't look very…appetizing."

"Well, it's no irritable grizzly." I glared at her. I didn't like it when she referred so casually our hunting. It made me feel strained.

I rose from my seat and paced around the center of the kitchen, glancing out the windows. Outside, a small bird was trilling her song.

Another thought came to mind – what about her father? "And I think you should introduce me to your father, too. I think."

"He already knows you."

"As your boyfriend, I mean." I shuddered minutely at the term. Boyfriend. Yeah, right. That didn't even begin to describe my feelings for her.

"Why?" she demanded to know.

I just wanted to clear it with the Chief so I could see her at her house…and not in secret, but I couldn't tell her that. "Isn't that customary?" I lied.

"I don't know," she replied, hesitantly. "That's not necessary, you know, I don't expect you to – I mean, you don't have to pretend for me." Her words made me slightly angry. She thought I was…pretending? That I liked – loved – her? That I really wouldn't like being her boyfriend, if that was the only term to describe our relationship? She thought _wrong_, big-time.

"I'm not pretending."

She didn't answer. She played with the cereal left in her bowl, and her thoughts were that black hole like it usually was. Undetectable, unreadable, just not _there_.

Finally, I snapped. "Are you going to tell Charlie that I'm your boyfriend or not?" My voice was much too harsh.

"Is that what you are?" She seemed as averse to that term as I was.

"It's a loose interpretation of the word 'boy', I'll admit," I muttered.

"I was under the impression that you were something more…actually," she admitted, looking down, a flush creeping onto her skin.

She wanted me, and it was deeper than a normal boyfriend-girlfriend relationship. That thought comforted me. "Well…I don't know if we need to give him the gory details," I told her soothingly, lifting her face to mine with one finger. The pulse of her blood under my skin was comforting in an odd way. "But he _will_ need some explanation for why I'm around here so much – I don't want Chief Swan getting a restraining order put on me." I smiled at the thought of a human trying to restrain _me_, but it was her father. I couldn't lift a finger against him.

Her voice was slightly frightened, suddenly. "Will you be?" she asked nervously. "Will you really be here?"

"As long as you want me," I vowed.

"I'll always want you…forever."

Forever was a long time; she didn't know that. I felt disappointed, almost, when I thought of how my sweet angel wanted to damn her existence and spend the rest of eternity with me. I certainly wasn't worth it.

I slowly walked around to where she was. I kept a few feet between us, but I reached over and trailed my fingertips across her face, memorizing every inch of skin. I thought once more of Alice's vision, of the two outcomes, and I sighed.

"Does that make you sad?" she asked, her voice gentle and anxious.

Not wanting to answer, I just stared helplessly in her captivating, unintentionally seductive eyes.

I exhaled softly. "Are you finished?" I asked, finally tearing my eyes away from her face.

She hopped out of her chair. "Yes."

"Get dressed," I ordered. "I'll wait here."

She ran up the stairs, tripping only once. I heard the rustle of cloth against skin, and I again wondered what the rest of her body felt like. After what seemed like an eternity, she headed back down.

It was much more than I expected. I admit, I stood there, hypnotized, for a few moments while she descended. She was wearing that sexy dark blue blouse that contrasted against her pale skin, and a khaki skirt. Her hair was pulled back into a neat ponytail.

She was beautiful – so beautiful. Aphrodite, whatever she looked like, couldn't hold a candle to this gorgeous human.

"Okay, I'm decent," she called down.

Running right into me, she gasped.

My hands were on either side of her waist, holding her a few steps away from her. I breathed in deeply and then pulled her recklessly tight against me.

"Wrong…again," I whispered. "You are…_utterly_ indecent. No one should look so tempting. It's not fair." I wanted nothing more than to stay at her house and just kiss her all day long.

She seemed bewildered. "Tempting? How? I can change."

I sighed; she would never view herself as the goddess who dominated my every thought. "You are…so…absurd," I murmured, my breath coming quicker. I could feel her heartbeat, and it was like a fleeing deer's. I drew my hands up her back, and my fingertips danced back down her spine. I wanted to feel her underneath her shirt. Her hands were positioned so intimately on my chest. Her eyes looked up at me, and I could see love and lust in them. My eyes, which I could see reflected in hers, held the same expression.

Not able to delay this any longer, I pressed my lips gently to hers. Her lips moved so sensually in response, and I gasped quietly. My fingers clutched her hair, pulling her to me. My lips moved urgently against her soft, warm ones. I attempted the most daring move yet – I parted my lips and glided my tongue across her lips, tasting her. It was mind-shattering pleasure, and I did _not_ want to stop. My lips stayed on hers and they moved in unfamiliar ways, gently, against hers.

That is, until she went limp in my hands, her eyes closed.

"Bella!" I nearly shouted, pulling her up. Oh, God, did she faint? It wouldn't be surprising – her heartbeat was over the limit there. I should have stopped myself; I should have pulled away –

"You made me faint," she muttered quietly. Her eyes were open, watching me cautiously.

"What. Am. I. Going. To. _DO._ With. You?" I demanded, putting spaces between my words. "Yesterday I kiss you and you attack me!" Not that I was complaining, of course. "Today you pass out on me."

She giggled quietly, in my arms. I savored the moment.

"So much for being good at everything." I stifled another sigh.

"That's the problem, you're too good," she told me, still breathing heavily. "Far, far too good."

I wasn't going to let her compliments get to my head. It was too early for that. "Do you feel sick?" Perhaps it wouldn't be such a good idea to take her out today….

"No, that wasn't the same kind of fainting at all," she murmured. "I don't know _what_ happened – I think I forgot how to breathe." She shook her head in shame.

I cradled her head between my hand and my shoulder. "I can't take you anywhere like this." Her face was flushed and her pulse was racing. Her hair was slightly messy from my fingers twining in her hair.

"I'm fine!" she protested immediately. "Your family is going to think I'm insane anyway; what's the difference?"

We stayed silent for a moment. I looked down at her shirt and I was taken away again. Her skin was so…so…. Well, unbelievable, against that color.

"I'm very partial to that color with your skin," I complimented. She blushed again and glanced away.

"Look…" she started. "I'm trying _really_ hard not to think about what I'm about to do. So, can we go already?"

"And you're worried," I confirmed, "not because you're headed to meet a houseful of vampires, but because you think those vampires won't approve of you. Correct?"

"That's right."

Amazingly enough, when I stared deep into her eyes – dark pools of chocolate – they were sincere. She wasn't joking.

"You're…." I couldn't think of a fitting word. "Incredible."

I hugged her close to me as we walked out to her truck. I opened her door and walked over to my side at a human pace, in case some human happened to see.

My hand twined with hers again as we drove into and out of the town. We lived just outside the town, and I found myself driving at a slow pace – only eighty – when I was with her. Must be instinctual.

As we happened upon the small path-like road leading to our reclusive mansion, I felt her stiffen. I still drove with one hand, though the road was very overgrown and full of twists and turns to discourage visitors. I knew this place like the back of my hand. After a few minutes of more contented silence, there it was. I heard her intake of breath as she looked, awed, up at this place I called home.

This was why we liked the setting. In a forest, no one would expect a grand mansion. The path was discouraging enough, with all its intricate turns, and it was unmarked. It didn't even look like anything from the outside, and a driver passing by wouldn't even be able to tell that there was anything present. Nearby was the river, babbling its happy song. So carefree and relaxed an environment.

"Wow," she whispered, still staring at the house.

"You like it?" Wow, what was I doing? I wasn't even speaking in proper sentences now!

"It has a certain charm," she admitted.

I grasped the end of her ponytail and tugged it gently. She turned to look at me, and I shot her a teasing smile.

"Ready?" I asked, pulling her out of the car.

"Not even a little bit," she muttered. "Let's _go_." Her hand shot to her hair, trying to smooth the place where my fingers had locked into her hair.

"You look…lovely," I murmured. It was the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. I wondered why she seemed so beautiful to me. Most of the males in our school were fascinated with her for a few days, and stopped, save for a few especially persistent ones. She was pretty, but not gorgeous like a supermodel, I guess, in another person's eyes. It _must_ be because her soul is so pure. She was such a wonderful person that it reflected on how one viewed her exterior beauty.

My hand was on hers again, and I felt her twitch in anticipation. I rubbed my fingers along her hand comfortingly.

As we walked, hand in hand, into the house, I could nearly taste her surprise. Jasper could, definitely.

She glanced around in awe, at the huge windows on the other side, at the ceiling, everything.

_Ah, here comes the human!_ Esme was delighted, hoping to finally meet Bella.

_I hope Rosalie doesn't…_. Carlisle was concerned. I stiffened.

I heard Rosalie's thoughts. _Stupid, idiot, weak…_. Insults – and profanities – poured from her thoughts. I needed to have a word with Rosalie sometime. Emmett was with her, his thoughts helpless.

Jasper, smelling human blood, had instinctively tensed. He was trying his best not to let that side of his nature get the better of him – he was doing well. Alice was just all hyper-ness.

My parents had arrived before Bella, and they were right by my piano. "Carlisle, Esme, this is Bella," I introduced her.

"You're very welcome, Bella," Carlisle said. He took a hesitant step toward my love, who was tucked under my arm. She stepped forward to shake his hand. I sighed in relief – she truly wasn't scared.

"It's nice to see you again, Dr. Cullen," she replied politely.

_No need for formalities._ "Please, call me Carlisle," he said, out loud.

"Carlisle," she corrected herself, with a smile on her face. I relaxed myself.

Esme came forth slowly, too. "It's very nice to meet you," she said, shaking Bella's hand. _I hope you know how lucky you are, Edward. She is such a beauty! And she's a nice girl, I just _know_ it. _I was perfectly aware of that – what had I done to deserve a miracle like Bella?

"Thank you, I'm glad to meet you too," Bella answered, still polite, but warmly.

"Where are Alice and Jasper?" I asked, but before I was done speaking, they appeared at the top of the staircase.

"Hey, Edward!" Alice nearly yelled, and ran down the stairs at vampire speed. She embraced Bella and kissed her cheek.

Both my mother and father's thoughts were a big _What the?_

_Uh-oh, Edward. I see why you were so upset the first day._ "You do smell nice, I never noticed."

A nearly silent growl rumbled in my throat.

Jasper appeared before Bella, too. His thoughts were tense, but he was doing his ultimate best not to think of Bella's blood. _Think of someone else; think of what Edward's going to do to you if you hurt her, think of how Emmett's going to crack your head open, think of what difficulties this will cause us…._ I lifted my eyebrows at him to warn him to keep his distance if he couldn't help himself.

"Hello, Bella," Jasper said aloud. He didn't shake her hand; it would be much too hard.

"Hello, Jasper." She grinned at him, and Jasper's relaxed slightly. It would probably be easier for him to resist if he'd befriended Bella first.

"It's nice to meet you all, you have a very beautiful home," Bella continued.

"Thank you – we're _so_ glad that you came," Esme answered. _She's so brave, to come into a houseful of…us._

Bella's eyes narrowed, as if she'd already realized that Rosalie and Emmett weren't here.

_Try to keep her from Rosalie, she's not at her happiest, son,_ Carlisle thought to me. I nodded reassuringly. No way in hell would Bella get close to Rosalie when the latter was in such a foul mood.

_And oh, Alice saw some nomads coming. They're not vegetarians, and the time of arrival is uncertain. Keep an eye on Bella._

I nodded again, but this time I was slightly worried. Bella's blood might attract them, and I didn't want to take chances.

Bella's eyes strayed to my cherished, beloved piano. Her eyes were distant, and she smiled, as if recalling a humorous memory.

"Do you play?" Esme asked Bella.

"Not at all, but it's so beautiful…is it yours?"

"No, Edward didn't tell you he was musical?" Esme raised an eyebrow in my direction. _You should have told her, it's such an important part of your life. She would be delighted to hear, you know._

"No," Bella answered, glaring at me with slanted eyes. "I should have known, though."

_What?_ Esme was confused.

"Edward can do everything," Bella muttered. "Right?"

_How misleading of you._ Jasper chuckled as he glanced at me.

_Why, Edward, shame on you! You know better than to show off, how many times do I have to tell you?_ "I hope you haven't been showing off. It's rude," my mother said for Bella's benefit.

I laughed, my arm around Bella again. "Just a bit," I answered. Esme's eyes softened. _I'm sure she'd love to hear you play, son._

"He's been _too_ modest, actually," Bella commented.

"Well, play for her!" _Don't make me push you there._

"You just said showing off was rude!" I objected.

"There are exceptions to every rule," Esme replied. _Don't get sassy with me, young man._

"I'd like to hear you play." It was Bella. I sighed; there was no getting out of this now.

"It's settled then," Esme decided. I still didn't move. _So I _do_ have to push you?_ Esme shooed me over to the piano bench. I grabbed Bella like a life preserver, and pulled her with me. I sat down, but Bella was still standing. I plopped her down.

Hm, which song should I play first? I didn't have to decide for too long – this was for Bella, it was only fair that she heard her lullaby, but Esme's Favorite was also a beautiful one. I decided to play both. The bottle cap from that other day at lunch was still there. I found that I could put so much more meaning to my music if I had a reminder of her.

As I started the song, the notes soft and flowing, I was aware of Bella's chin dropping. I laughed to myself and kept playing. I was filled with an urge to make these songs as perfect as possible, for Bella.

_Okay, we'll leave you two lovebirds alone now._ Alice was nearly laughing.

Everyone else started to file out, too, leaving Bella and I alone. I cherished the moment – it was so hard to find a moment like this with her.

I turned to Bella, the corners of my mouth turning up, and winked. "Do you like it?" I asked anxiously.

She gasped, knowing now that it was my original composition. "You…you wrote this?" she stammered.

I nodded, my fingers never missing a note. That was one of the good things about being a vampire – you could multitask very easily and still end up doing each of the tasks perfectly. "It's Esme's favorite."

Esme's Favorite drew to an end. I quickly pulled the last few notes through a lovely cadence, a bridge to the next song: Bella's Lullaby. It was the perfect name.

The difference between the two songs was easily detectable. Esme's Favorite was light, sparkling, and carefree. Bella's Lullaby was a much deeper, more emotional song. As I turned to my love again, I found her lovely brown eyes swimming in tears of joy.

"You inspired this one," I whispered, as captivated by the music as Bella was.

She opened her mouth, but nothing came out.

"They like you, you know," I reassured her. "Esme, especially."

Her head whipped around, and she tried to find them. "Where did they go?"

"_Very_ subtly giving us some privacy, I suppose," I murmured.

"They like me," she whispered, voicing her doubts. "But Rosalie? And Emmett?"

Rosalie was calling her all kinds of profanities again, now that she had heard her name. But Emmett was pained, to hear Bella called those names – though he dared not reason with Rosalie yet. "Don't worry about Rosalie, she'll come around," I reassured Bella, my eyes locked with hers. The lullaby still sang from the piano.

"Emmett?" Bella asked.

_Hey, don't say anything bad about me, Edward! Seriously, I bear her no ill will, I'm in this garage because Rosalie can't bear to face Bella…don't tell Rosalie that either…._

"Well…he thinks I'm a lunatic, it's true, but he doesn't have a problem with _you_." I picked up a big-brotherly tone in Emmett's thoughts, sometimes, when Bella was referred to. "He's trying to reason with Rosalie."

"What is it that upsets her?"

I wasn't sure what to say. "Rosalie struggles the most with…uh, with what we are. It's hard for her to have someone on the outside know the truth. And she's a little jealous," I added.

"Rosalie." Her eyes widened. "Is jealous. Of me?!" Her breathing paused.

"You're human. She wishes that she were, too," I explained.

_Yeah, right. More like it has to do with you bringing that little _human_ here and telling her _everything.

"Oh…even Jasper, though – "

"That's really my fault," I told her, before she could say anything else. "I told you, he was the most recent to try our way of life. I warned him to keep his distance."

_Edward, I never thought I'd see the day when you gossip like an old lady._ Jasper was literally smirking, I bet.

"Esme? And Carlisle – "

" – are happy to see me happy," I finished for her. "Actually…Esme wouldn't care if you had a third eye." I grinned. "And webbed feet. All this time…she's been…_worried_ about me, afraid that there was something missing from my…my essential makeup. That I was too young when Carlisle changed me. She's ecstatic; every time I touch you, she just about chokes with satisfaction."

_I do not, young man. And have you been listening in on my thoughts again?_

"Alice…seems very…enthusiastic," Bella commented dryly.

Instinct made me stiffen. Why did Alice have to act so quickly? _Hey, I couldn't help it, Edward! I saw her becoming my best friend! And then my sister! And you wouldn't even let me _introduce_ myself!_

"Alice has her own way of looking at things."

"And you're not going to explain that," Bella finished for me. "Are you?"

She knew that there was something I didn't tell her about Alice. No, I wasn't going to tell her. We just stood, staring into each other's eyes.

"So," she said, attempting to restart the conversation. "What was Carlisle telling you before?"

Why did she need to be so perceptive, I wonder? "You noticed that, did you?" I asked, in defeat.

She shrugged nonchalantly. "Of course."

I hesitated for a second, wanting to tell her the news in a way that would not make her scream and run away. "He wanted to tell me some news," I started. She stared at me meaningfully, and I caved in. "He didn't know if it was something I would share with you."

Carlisle's thoughts were pointedly not focused on our conversation.

"Will you?" she asked, rather…nervously.

I sighed. "I have to, because I'm going to be a little overbearingly protective over the next few days, or weeks, and I wouldn't want you to think I'm naturally a tyrant," I explained.

She picked up the tone of the words. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's _wrong,_ exactly," I reassured her. "Alice just sees some visitors coming soon. They know we're here, and they're…curious."

"Visitors?" she choked out.

"Yes," I agreed. "Well, they aren't like us, of course, in their hunting habits, I mean. They probably won't…come into…town, at all, but I'm certainly not going to let you out of my sight till they're gone."

Her eyes widened, and she shuddered delicately.

"Finally!" I was about to throw my hands up, but then remembered that I was still playing her lullaby. "A rational response. I was beginning to think you had no sense of self-preservation _at all_."

She glanced around the room again, marveling silently at the wide, open room.

I began to tease her. "Not what you expected, is it?"

"No," she confessed, taking in the brightness. Her eyes closed for a brief moment and I could tell that she was taking in as much of her lullaby as she could.

Honestly, I didn't know _what_ she expected, but I could tell that it wasn't this. "No coffins. No piled skulls in the corners. I don't even think we have _cobwebs_. What a disappointment this must be for you."

She didn't reply for a long while. "It's so light," she finally murmured. "So…open."

I knew why Esme had designed our interior this way. Everyone expects vampires to be these Goth or emo creatures, hiding in blackness. We had many things light-colored, or white, to defy those stereotypes. The curtains were usually drawn, and light would filter in. "It's the one place we never have to hide," I said, softly.

I reached the final chord of her lullaby, and the tears that her lovely eyes were swimming in brimmed over. "Thank you," she choked out. She tried to hastily wipe away the tears. Not knowing why, I reached over and wiped a stray tear away with my finger. I held it up to my face to examine it. Finally, I touched my finger to my tongue, just to taste what a human tear was like. It was salty, true, but it tasted like…like what Bella smelled like. So lovely.

Her eyes were questioning my sanity, and I stared back, losing my train of thought in those eyes. At last, I cracked a small smile.

"Do you want to see the rest of the house?" I asked, standing up from the piano bench. I carefully pulled the top over the keys, to protect them from dust, moisture, and whatnot.

"No coffins?" she asked, with a poor attempt at sarcasm. She didn't fool me.

I chuckled and reached for her soft, warm hand, pulling her gently with me.

"No coffins," I verified.

Hand in hand, we walked up the staircase. It had a worn, wooden rail, but glass bridging the gap from the rail to the stairs. Her free hand trailed gently along the rail.

"Rosalie and Emmett's room," I told her, pointing to the first door. "Carlisle's office," I continued, at the second door. "Alice's room."

I felt her tense, and her eyes were wide in shock. I followed her gaze and chuckled slightly when I saw what she was staring at.

It was one of Carlisle's most cherished mementos, a cross made of dark wood. It hung at the end of the hall, above anyone's head.

"You can laugh," I told her. "It is sort of ironic." A cross, symbolizing Christianity and resurrection, in a houseful of vampires? Well, Carlisle was a Christian, I guess. His life, as a human, was built around the Church of England. And he still believes that our souls exist. I only wish that I had his absolute faith.

_Oh, please, Edward, don't encourage her to laugh! My precious cross!_

Her face was serious as she raised one hand, as if to touch it, and then withdrew her hand. "It must be very old," she whispered.

I shrugged – to an immortal, it wasn't _that_ old, at all. "Early sixteen-thirties, more or less," I answered.

She turned to stare at me. "Why do you keep this here?"

"Nostalgia," I explained. "It belonged to Carlisle's father."

"He collected…antiques?" There was a tone of doubt in her voice.

"No," I laughed, "he carved this himself. It hung on the wall above the pulpit, in the vicarage, where he preached."

She turned back to the cross. She seemed to be thinking hard for a long, long while.

"Uh, are you all right?" I asked, beginning to be a little bit anxious.

Her face was unreadable. "How old is Carlisle?"

"He just celebrated his three hundred and sixty-second birthday," I replied. _That_ caught her attention. She just looked at me questioningly.

_Oh, boy, storytime! _Emmett was concentrating on my words.

_Yay! Edward, make this a good story! I like stories! _Alice was jumping up and down, nearly. Jasper slammed a wave of calm into her face and she calmed slightly.

Esme and Carlisle, being much more…mature than the rest of us, didn't really bother to listen or overreact.

"Carlisle was born in London. In the sixteen-forties, he believes. Time wasn't marked as accurately then – for the common people, anyway. It was just before Cromwell's rule, though. He was the only son of an Anglican pastor. His mother died giving birth to him. His father was an intolerant man."

I paused, gauging Bella's reaction. Her face was decidedly calm. I took that as an encouraging sign and continued.

"As the Protestants came into power, he was enthusiastic in his persecution of Roman Catholics and other religions. He also believed very strongly in the reality of evil. He led hunts for witches, werewolves…and…and vampires." I heard Bella's breath catch at the word, but I kept going.

"They burned a _lot_ of innocent people." We'd learned about the Salem witch trials in school before. The trials and burnings at the stake were very, _very_ popular back then. "Of course, the real creatures that he sought were not so easy to catch. When the pastor grew old, he placed his obedient son in charge of the raids. At first Carlisle was a disappointment."

_Yes I was, indeed._ Carlisle's thoughts portrayed a smirk in them.

"He was not quick to accuse, to see demons where they did not exist. But he was persistent, and more clever than his father. He actually discovered a coven of vampires that lived hidden in the sewers of the city, only coming out by night to hunt. In those days, when monsters were not just myths and legends, that was the way many lived. The people gathered their pitchforks and torches, of course," I chuckled, thinking of how townsfolk could use pitchforks against one of us and expect to win. The torches were another matter altogether…."And waited where Carlisle had seen the monsters exit into the street."

Everyone in the whole house, save Rosalie, was hanging onto my every word now, though Bella was still blissfully unaware of that.

"Eventually, one emerged. He must have been ancient, and weak with hunger. Carlisle heard him call out in Latin to the others when he caught the scent of the mob. He ran through the streets, and Carlisle – he was twenty-three and very fast – was in the lead of the pursuit. The creature could have easily outrun them, but Carlisle thinks he was too hungry, so he turned and attacked. He fell on Carlisle first, but the others were close behind, and he turned to defend himself. He killed two men, and made off with a third, leaving Carlisle bleeding in the street." I shuddered, my imagination kicking in. I decided to take out the part where he was bitten, and how he was transformed – the whole entity of it.

"Carlisle knew what his father would do," I continued, my voice hushed. "The bodies would be burned. Anything infected by the monster_ must_ be destroyed. Carlisle acted instinctively to save his own life. He crawled away from the alley while the mob followed the fiend and his victim. He hid in a cellar, buried himself in rotting potatoes for three days. It's a miracle he was able to keep silent, to stay undiscovered. It was over then, and he realized what he had become."

I snuck a glance at Bella, and her face was a frozen mask of fear. I stopped talking.

"How are you feeling?" I inquired, feeling slightly anxious.

"I'm fine," she told me, but I could see her unspoken questions in her eyes.

"I expect you have a _few_ more questions for me," I laughed.

"A few," she agreed.

I grinned and pulled her with me to Carlisle's office. "Come on, then, I'll show you." I held her close to me as we walked into the room back down the hall.

_More! More! More! _Alice was giddy again.

_Aw, come on, man, that's barely half of it! _Emmett had ants in his pants. Ha – I loved that expression.

_Edward, please don't tell me that you don't know what the rest of the family is feeling or thinking. _Jasper was getting annoyed by the emotions pulling at him.

Oh, believe me, I knew.

**AN: So, how was it? Sorry, it's **_**still**_** taking a while to type everything but I'll get on it. And review! REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!!!!!!!!!! Thanks!!!!!!!!!! **


	5. Carlisle

Carlisle

I stopped outside Carlisle's study for a brief moment, just so he knew that I was present.

_Yes, come in._ "Come in," he said aloud for Bella's ears.

Opening the door, I walked in with Bella in tow. I could sense her awe as she glanced around the room. Carlisle's study _was_ very impressive. Many, many paintings on the wall were all from different times in Carlisle's history. They were originals, not replicas.

_I wager that Bella wants to know more about…my history?_ "What can I do for you?" he asked warmly.

"I wanted to show Bella some of our history," I answered. "Well…your history, actually," I amended.

Bella grew slightly warmer. "We didn't mean to disturb you," she said politely.

_Bella's manners are very good, son. You chose a very decent girl._

I already knew that, of course.

"Not at all," Carlisle answered. "Where are you going to start?"

There were many good places to start showing her the history of the leader of our coven. "The Waggoner," I decided, turning Bella back around to face the other wall of the room. I could hear Bella's heartbeat speed up when I touched her, and Carlisle did, too.

_She really, really likes you, son._

I took her to the left side of the room, to point out one of the smaller oil paintings. She seemed to be examining the picture, but I could tell that she was confused.

"London in the sixteen-fifties," I told her. The London of modern times and the London of back then were immensely contrasting.

Carlisle sighed and walked over behind us. "The London of my youth."

I suddenly thought of how much better it would be for Bella if she heard the story firsthand from Carlisle. "Will you tell the story?"

"I would," he answered. _I apologize, son, but the hospital needs me. Bella can understand when you tell it to her, too._ "But I'm actually running a little late – the hospital called this morning; Dr. Snow is taking a sick day. Besides," he added. "You know the stories as well as I do." My father smiled at me.

Carlisle smiled warmly at my Bella one last time before he grabbed his coat and left.

Bella gazed at the square picture, not comprehending. "What happened then?" she asked softly, her voice slightly hoarse. "When he realized…what had happened to him?"

_Yay! More storytime!_ Alice's thoughts penetrated my thinking. I wish she'd shut up, but I couldn't blame her. Carlisle's background was very fascinating.

I looked over at another painting of the English landscape. It was a nature painting, of some sorts.

"When he knew what he had become, he rebelled against it. He tried to destroy himself, but that's not easily done," I explained softly. I thought about what Carlisle told me he'd done – how he'd jumped off cliffs, slammed himself into walls, ingested poison, stabbed himself, and just about everything else that wouldn't even leave a scratch on us.

"How?" she asked, her eyes wide and frightened, staring at me.

I stared back for a moment, losing myself in those warm pools of brown. "He jumped from great heights. He tried to drown himself in the ocean, but he was young to the new life and very strong," I explained. "It is…amazing that he was able to resist feeding while he was still so – so new. The instinct is more powerful then. It takes over everything, but he was so repelled by himself that he had the strength to try to kill himself with starvation." Every time I thought of this, I was awed. In the beginning of my new life, I'd left Carlisle and Esme because I was so weak. Eventually, I returned, of course but it was amazing how Carlisle had no one and he was able to become a vegetarian immediately. Just _thinking_ about this, when I had a hand on Bella, made venom pool in my mouth. I inhaled deeply again and swallowed uneasily.

Her voice was quiet with shock. "Is that possible?" she asked.

"No," I answered. "There are very few ways we can be killed.

"So he grew very hungry and eventually, weak. He strayed as far as he could from the human populace, recognizing that his willpower was weakening, too. For months he wandered by night, seeking the loneliest places, loathing himself.

"One night, a herd of deer passed his hiding place. He was so wild with thirst that he attacked without a thought. His strength returned and he realized there was an alternative to being the vile monster he feared. Had he not eaten venison in his former life? Over the next months his new philosophy was born. He could exist without being a demon. He found himself again…."

If only I could be one-half of what Carlisle was, I would be able to overcome the monster inside me. However, right now, the monster was banging his head against the wall each time I took a painful breath next to Bella. Stupid monster can bang his head all he wants.

I noticed I'd trailed off, and Bella was still looking at me with those wide, trusting eyes, encouraging me to continue. "He began to make better use of his time. He'd always been intelligent, eager to learn. Now he had unlimited time before him. He studied by night, planned by day…he swam to France and – "

I stopped when I heard Bella inhale sharply. "He swam? To _France_?"

"People swim the Channel all the, Bella," I reminded her. She must've forgotten that the only thing separating France and England at one point was just the English Channel.

"That's true, I guess," she admitted, looking down. "It just sounded funny in that context…go on…."

"Swimming is easy for us – "

"Everything is easy for you," she interrupted again.

I stared down at her with half a grin on my lips, trying to maintain an expression like one of a teacher when a student constantly interrupts without their hand up in the air.

"I won't interrupt again, I promise," she muttered.

"Because technically, we don't have to breathe."

Her mouth opened again. "You – " I put my hand gently over her mouth, silencing her. I held it there for a moment, feeling the warmth of her lips.

"No, no," I chuckled, bending down to her ear. "Do you want to hear the story or not?"

"You can't spring something like that on me," she said defiantly, her voice a mumble, "and then expect me not to say anything."

I trailed my hand across her face to rest on the back of her neck. I bent my nose down a little to take in the painfully sweet scent. Her heart sped off, as if determined to make this all the harder for me.

"You don't have to…breathe?" she asked again.

"No," I answered. "It's not _necessary_, just a habit."

"How long can you go without breathing?" she asked, voice breathless.

I tried to make this nonchalant. "Indefinitely I suppose. I don't know, it gets a little…uncomfortable…being without a sense of smell." However, deep inside me, I was holding my breath. I kept bracing myself for the time when she would be overcome with the crux of the situation, that we were immensely different from her kind, and run away from me. If she chose to, I would never lift a finger to stop her.

"A bit…uncomfortable," she muttered, her voice tight.

I sighed – when would she _understand_? We were dangerous. Carlisle was dangerous, even. Esme was dangerous. Emmett was most definitely dangerous. Alice was dangerous. _I _was dangerous.

My face must've betrayed my emotion, because she lifted one hand to place it hesitantly on my cheek. My hand stayed limp at my side, having slid off her shoulder.

She leaned up to my face; she was so close that I could taste her breath. "What is it?" she asked softly, leaning closer.

I held her hand with mine, pressing it to my cheek. My eyes stayed focused on hers, waiting for her to flinch or pull away, but she did neither. "I keep waiting for it to happen," I confessed, looking down.

She didn't understand. "For…what to happen?"

As much as this pained me, I had to say this. "I know that…that at some point, something I tell you – or something you see – is going to be…too much. And then, you'll run away from me. Screaming as you go. I won't stop you," I promised. "I _want_ this to happen," I lied, but it was for the best. "I want you to be safe…and yet, I want to be with you. The two…desires are impossible to reconcile." I kept my eyes trained on her face, guarded, expressionless. A dozen emotions flitted across her face. Sadness…anger…fear…confusion…before it finally settled on…an emotionless mask.

"I'm not running anywhere."

"We'll see," I said, smiling a little.

_God, Edward!_ Alice's thoughts were screaming at me. _The two outcomes are becoming clearer! The more you love her, the more you're going to abstain from her blood. It seems like she'll end up as a freaking vampire! You're not going to suck her blood so you need to get your act together and stop trying to scare my future best friend away!_

Bella, oblivious to this exchange, continued talking. "So go on. Carlisle was swimming to France…?"

My eyes darted quickly to the picture of the Volturi. Pale, ancient, and withered, the three old men looked like some elders of a council. Her eyes, following my gaze, settled on the painting, too.

"Carlisle swam to France and continued on through Europe to the universities there," I continued, that note of awe leaking back into my voice as I told of how he was able to do good for humans as a vampire. "By night, he studied music…science…medicine…and found his penance in that – saving human lives. I can't adequately describe the struggle. It took Carlisle two centuries of torturous effort to perfect his self-control. Now he is all but immune to the scent of human blood…and he is able to do the work he loves without agony. He finds a great deal of peace there at the hospital." Carlisle had shown me the first truly difficult task he received at the hospital; a man had been stabbed and thrown against the wall. I relived the scene with him; the smell of the rich blood, the life of the man trickling away, drop by drop…Carlisle had to hold his breath the entire time, and as soon as he finished, he raced out of the area.

With a jolt, Bella's next heartbeat brought me back to the present.

"He was studying in Italy – " I stiffened " – when he discovered the others there. They were much more civilized and educated than the wraiths of the London sewers. Solimena was greatly inspired by Carlisle's friends; he often painted them as gods," I laughed, my fingers brushing against the portrait of Carlisle and the Volturi, minus the guard. "Aro, Marcus, Caius, nighttime patrons of the arts," I explained.

Bella's finger was hovering slightly above the figures, the expression of awe back in her eyes. "What happened to them?" she asked.

"They're still there," I explained. "As they have been for…who knows how many millennia. Carlisle stayed with them only for a short time, just a few decades. He greatly admired their civility…their refinement…but they persisted in trying to cure his aversion to his 'natural food source', as they called it." Carlisle had shown me what extremes they went to, trying to have him drink even a drop of human blood. "They tried to persuade him, and he tried to persuade them, to no avail. At that point, Carlisle decided to try the New World; he dreamed of finding others like himself. He was very lonely, you see."

My voice went back to storytime mode, weaving out the pictures and the scenes with my voice and only my voice.

"He didn't find anyone for a long time. But, as monsters became the stuff of fairy tales, he found he could interact with unsuspecting humans as if he were one of them. He began practicing medicine. But the companionship he craved evaded him; he couldn't risk familiarity.

"When the influenza epidemic hit, he was working nights in a hospital in Chicago. He'd been turning over an idea in his mind for several years, and he had almost decided to act – since he couldn't find a companion, he would create one. He wasn't absolutely sure how his own transformation had occurred, so he was hesitant. And he was loath to steal anyone's life the way his had been stolen. It was in that frame of mind that he found me. There was no hope for me; I was left in a ward with the dying. He had nursed my parents, and knew I was alone. He decided to try…"

I stopped myself there, unwilling to say another word about my transformation. Bella was waiting patiently, like the angel she was, and she didn't stir. I took another deep breath, and let it out slowly and painfully.

Turning back to her, I was unable to smile when I gazed upon her perfect human face. "And so, we've come full circle," I ended.

My hand found hers as she spoke again. "Have you always stayed with Carlisle then?" she wondered.

Oh, dear God, I _so_ did not want to admit this embarrassing shame in my life. "Almost always," I murmured. I rested one hand on her waist and drew her gently against me. My head dipped down to her hair, and I took more breaths, the scent becoming easier to take in and more bearable. She glanced once more at the wall of pictures as I brought her out of Carlisle's study.

She wasn't satisfied with my answer. "Almost?" she asked skeptically.

I exhaled, trying to word this confession correctly. "Well…I had a typical bout of rebellious adolescence about ten years after I was born – created – whatever you want to call it. I wasn't sold on his life of…abstinence, and I resented him for curbing my appetite, so I went off on my own for a time." I could tell that she understood what I meant by 'went off on my own'.

"Really?" she asked. I was fixed on her voice, but heard no fear.

I recalled my departure as we headed up to my room. I'd had a swift, cold conversation with Carlisle, and then I'd left. I went from place to place: Canada; Mexico; England; France; British-controlled parts of China and India; Brazil; and many more…I'd decided to stop one night. All my victims were people who had committed great crimes…rapists and murderers and kidnappers. My last victim had a strange depiction of me in his mind; he saw me as a terrifying, young god with blood-red eyes. That was enough to make me stop; I couldn't stand my eyes anymore. I knew that I was becoming no better than my victims, so I stopped and returned to Carlisle and Esme, prepared to beg on my knees for them to take me back.

"That doesn't repulse you?" I asked Bella, curiously.

"Uh, _no_…."

"Why not?" I asked, truly curious now.

"I guess…it sounds…reasonable?" she asked, her face flushing red.

I chuckled again; this girl who just happened to be my life and my soul and my love for eternity just happened to be so…accepting.

"From the time of my new birth, I had the advantage of knowing what everyone was thinking, human and non-human alike," I said quietly, almost to myself. "That's why it took me ten years to defy Carlisle; I could read his perfect sincerity – understand exactly why he lived the way he did.

"It took me only a few years to return to Carlisle and recommit to his vision. I thought I would be exempt from the depression that accompanies a conscience. Because I knew the _thoughts_ of my prey, I could pass over the innocent and pursue only the evil. If I followed a murderer down a dark alley where he stalked a young girl…if I saved her…then surely I wasn't so terrible."

I found myself gazing intently at Bella when I spoke. Bella was the young girl I would save, Bella was the one I would slaughter a million serial killers for. Bella, a small human girl, defenseless, being tracked down the alley by that…that…_bitch_ wasn't a strong enough word. Her eyes stared back into mine, and I knew that she was thinking the same things I did. I allowed myself a moment to just gaze into her eyes and pain myself with her scent, just glad that she was with me.

"But as time went on," I continued, almost whispering now. "I began to see the…monster in my eyes." My blood-red eyes. "I couldn't escape the debt of so much human life taken – no matter _how_ justified, and I went back to Carlisle and Esme. They welcomed me back like the prodigal. It was more than I deserved."

_No it wasn't, son,_ Esme thought to me. _You deserved it wholly. I'm so proud of you for coming back in the first place. You had a place among us, and we couldn't deny you that, ever._

We were now on the third floor, and I guided her down the hall to the very end. "My room," I announced, as I pushed the door open. I was slightly nervous. What would it be like, to be walking into your…vampire boyfriend's bedroom for the first time? I nearly cringed, and what made it worse was that I had no freaking idea what she was thinking!

I could tell that Bella was taken by the view in my room. The Olympic Mountains stood up, tall and majestic, behind the vast expanse of forest. The river drew a swirling line through the forest and mountains. My old room had a _much_ better view, but Alice had taken that several decades ago. Relief washed through me as I found no disapproval on Bella's angelic face.

She walked in hesitantly. After taking a look outside through the wall-sized window, she walked carefully over to my sound system. I followed closely behind, afraid that she'd trip and hurt herself. It wouldn't be easy to fix her up if she'd tangled herself in my sound system.

"Good acoustics?" she murmured.

I nodded, laughing. I grabbed the remote control that happened to be lying nearby and turned the stereo on. The soft fifties jazz piece floated from all four corners of the room. It was funny to see Bella whirl around, trying to find the multiple sources of the sound.

Finally, she made her way over to my CD collection.

Her fingers trailed gently over the spines. I toyed with the remote as she finally asked, "How do you have these organized?"

"Um…." My way of organizing might sound weird to her. "By year, and then by personal preference within that frame."

As I looked at her, pondering my collection again, I felt this odd sense of…pleasure. Of…happiness, in my stomach. It was peculiar.

She looked over all the CDs and I walked quietly over to her. I looked down at her tenderly. Her head slowly turned to look into mine, and I heard her catch her breath. More waves of fragrant pain pounded into me. "What?" she whispered.

I exhaled slowly. "I was prepared to feel relieved, having you know about everything – not needing to keep secrets from you. But I didn't expect to feel more than that…I like it. It makes me happy." I shrugged gently, the corners of my mouth turning up.

Her expression mirrored and magnified mine. A breathtakingly beautiful lit her face up. "I'm glad," she answered, her face gentle and tender.

Who knew, though? What if she was still in shock from something? What if she ran away when the truth settled in?

"You're still waiting for the running…and screaming, aren't you?" she asked.

I smiled sheepishly and nodded.

Her face took on a challenging, daring expression. "I hate to burst your bubble," she murmured, laughing, "but you're really not as scary as you think you are. I don't find you scary at all, actually."

At first, I thought she was serious. And then it dawned on me; she was waiting to see what I was going to do next. My fingers curled around her shoulders as I grinned evilly down at her.

"You really shouldn't have said that," I breathed.

A low, rumbling growl erupted from my chest, my lips pulling back instinctively. This was the perfect chance to show her how I was like during hunting, since I would never let her see it in person. I gathered all my weight into my legs.

"You wouldn't," she taunted, but I could see a trace of fear in her.

Moving at vampire speed, I threw her into the air, and jumped at her. I crashed into the sofa, with her in my arms. She would've been bruised all over by now, but my arms encased her small figure securely, so that she wouldn't be harmed a single bit.

_Oh, Edward, what now._ Alice was a witness to my display of…vampire-ness to Bella. So was Jasper.

Bella tried to untangle herself from me, but I wouldn't allow her. I crushed her to my chest – not literally crushed – and held her down. Her eyes were panicked as she stared wide-eyed at me, but the expression slowly calmed down. I was nearly laughing, but she didn't seem frightened at all.

I put my head to hers menacingly. "You were saying?" I accompanied that with another growl to emphasize my words.

"That you are a very, very terrifying monster," she gasped out.

What a perfect definition. "Much better," I chuckled.

"Um, can I get up now?"

Most definitely not – I held her even tighter, pressing against her. I nearly sprang back in shock when I noticed my proximity to her. How dangerous I was in that moment. And mostly, she was pressed up against me in a way that made me hungry, not for her blood, but for something else….

_Way to keep your temper in control, Edward._ "Can we come in?" Alice asked aloud.

She was already in the room. I turned Bella around so that she was straddling me, with her arms around my neck. "Go ahead."

Alice bounded in, and seated herself smoothly on the floor. Jasper's eyes were huge, staring at me. _Get rid of those feelings _fast_, bro, or you'll end up taking her clothes off!_

I looked at him in confusion.

_Your lust is coming off in waves and waves. Not bloodlust, but the lust that you have for her, physically._

Whoops. Jasper stiffened as Bella's scent hit him. _Ahh…the scent..._

I shot a heated look at him, and he backed up a little, and then seated himself behind Alice, playing with her short hair.

"It sounded like you were having Bella for lunch," Alice laughed, "and we came to see if you would share."

I felt Bella's body go rigid with shock on top of me, and I couldn't keep my chuckles from leaking out. She thought Alice was _serious_!

Jasper was laughing, too. "Actually, Alice says there's going to be a real storm tonight and Emmett wants to play ball, are you game?"

Finally. It was about time for another game in the Cullen League of Baseball, or so Emmett dubbed us.

However, I bit my lip, looking down at Bella.

"Of course you should bring Bella," Alice told me. _I don't see anything that will happen to her tonight, yet, provided that she stays safely out of the ball's way…_

"Do you want to go?" I asked, almost bouncing up and down with excitement.

"Sure, uh…where are we going?" she asked, her expression confused.

"We have to wait for thunder to play ball," I told her. "You'll see why."

"Will I need an umbrella?" she then proceeded to ask.

The three of us vampires chuckled.

Jasper cleared his throat jokingly. "Will she?" he asked, wrapping his arm around Alice.

"No," she said, and I saw her vision that the town would be drenched but the clearing would be loud. "The storm will hit over town; it should be dry enough in the clearing."

"Good, then," Jasper said, unable to keep his excitement out. Being the emo guy in out family, we couldn't help but be excited, too.

"Let's go see if Carlisle will come!" Alice said, hopping out the door again. _Which he will!_

"Like you don't know!" Jasper chuckled, and followed her. He closed the door behind him, _to give you two a little…privacy_. I could practically see him wink.

I turned back to my love, sitting on me in a most…delicate way. "What will we be playing?" she asked, her eyes wide.

_No! She is _not_ playing, Edward! _I saw a fleeting picture of Alice's foreseen outcome. Bella would either be forced out every single pitch, or she wouldn't be able to hit at all and the ball would hit _her_. No way was I having that.

"You will be watching, _we_ will be playing baseball," I amended. I bounced her up and down on my leg, and she smiled, before rolling her eyes.

"Vampires like baseball?" she asked skeptically.

I grinned and pressed her warm, fragrant body even closer against mine. "It's the American pastime," I said, jokingly serious.

**AN: If you have a question, comment, concern, or something else, simply click on the little button that has the word 'Review' on it in green letters. Thank you very much and have a wonderful day.**


	6. The Game

The Game

**AN: Sorry, be patient…this is kind of long….**

When we arrived at Bella's house after chitchatting the time away, I was hit by new, somewhat-familiar smells.

The Quileutes were right there on her porch. The young one was mentally undressing Bella in his mind – ugh, I so do not want to know.

The older one stared at me with undisguised hatred. _Those vile pale-faced monsters, they should just run out of here._

"Shit, damn them to the depths of hell," I cursed. Bella looked at me, apparently not able to catch that string of words.

_Charlie deserves to know just what his daughter is going out with. What kind of a life-stealing, dirty, impure, cold-blooded killer she is dating._ What the hell? I'm a virgin, for God's sake! I have never even come close to a woman like that – well, except Tanya, and that was forced, by her…a whole different story…. But I was still a 'prude', as Emmett loved to tease me with, no matter what!

My voice came out in a low, dangerous growl. "This is crossing the line," I fumed.

Bella's breath caught. "He came to warn Charlie?" she choked out.

I felt the outside rubber layer of the steering wheel shift under my grasp. I nodded, not able to form words.

Her hand rested very close to me, as if trying to comfort me. "Let me deal with this," she murmured softly. My eyes found Billy Black's furious ones, and Jacob Black's adulterous ones.

As I pored through their thoughts, while pushing the car on at an incredibly slow pace, I could see that Jacob was oblivious to what I was, other than the annoying person who was currently with 'his' Bella. "That's probably best," I answered her. "Be careful, though, the child has no idea."

"Jacob is not _that_ much younger than I am!" she protested.

I couldn't help but smile at that remark. I'm in the middle of a glaring contest with Billy, and all she can do is contradict what I said about Jacob being a youngster – which he was, compared to me. "Oh, I know."

Her hand was on the handle, but she looked back at me imploringly.

"Get them inside so I can leave," I ordered her. "I'll be back around dusk."

"Uh…do you need my truck?"

I rolled my eyes out of habit – she was so silly. There was no need for me to take her truck, and that thing should be living out the rest of its happy long life in the dump right now. "I could _walk_ faster than this truck moves," I scoffed.

She sighed, looking back at me. "You don't _have_ to leave…."

Billy's gaze told me otherwise. "Actually I do," I answered. "After you get rid of them, you still have to prepare Charlie to meet your new boyfriend," I chuckled, unable to control my emotions. I was showing my teeth in a wide grin at Bella's absurdly dejected expression one moment, and then returning Billy's – and Jacob's – death glare the other. The word _boyfriend_, though, still made me feel like something was missing.

"Thanks a lot," she muttered.

"I'll be back soon," I told her reassuringly. I smiled once more, and leaned forward slowly, hesitantly, to kiss the edge of her jaw. The absolutely amazing taste overwhelmed my taste buds, and I kept sucking for a little longer than necessary until I made myself stop, before I cold take this any farther. My tongue flicked out to brush her warm, delicious skin and I felt her shudder.

Billy was now enraged. _How dare that filthy monster get his lips anywhere near her skin? I bet that she doesn't even know what he is yet. And to think that she can die any moment now! Does she have no regard whatsoever for Charlie?_

My gaze now evenly matched his, so furious I was from his thoughts. Jacob's was just jealous. Bella's glance flashed worriedly to the two on the porch before turning back to me.

"Soon," she told me again, and stepped out into the downpour with one last look at me.

The last things I heard as I backed out of her driveway was "Hey, Billy, hi, Jacob…."

I didn't want to hear any more of their 'friendly conversation'. I slid that same CD that Bella had pointed out and blasted Linkin Park as loud as my stereo would allow. I wanted everything to drown out.

My driving was more errant than usual today. The tires of my cherished Volvo actually deviated from their fixed paths once. Only a millimeter, but still! The way that the Quileutes affected me was absurd.

Okay, maybe not too absurd. However, that last encounter we had with their wolves…not something I wanted to remember. The treaty…the too-woodsy, too-nature-y, too-strong scent of the werewolves was excruciating as we bonded our treaty.

The line had died out with Ephraim Black…who must've been Billy's grandfather, conclusion deducted from the timing, and Jacob's great-grandfather.

There was no way that this Jacob could be a werewolf…right?

I finally turned into the driveway of our house.

_Hey, little bro! I think you found your happily ever after!_

Emmett sucks.

As I walked in through the door, twirling my car keys around one finger, I noticed that everyone was present in the living room. They all had semi-excited looks on their faces, sans Carlisle…and Rosalie. She was looking at me, the stream of profanities starting again.

"Oh, Edward, you have no idea how happy I am!" Esme said, clapping her hands like a little kid.

"Yeah, mom. Calm down."

_Calm down?! Are you serious? I've been waiting for nearly a century for you to find your other, and you do, but you tell me to calm down?_

"Yeah, Edward!" Alice cheered. "Finally. You two seem _way_ more serious than I thought, though." She showed me a vision that she'd had while I was gone – I was slipping an engagement ring onto Bella's third finger. I couldn't tell where, or when, but all I could see was that the background had a dim glow to it.

I didn't realize I was wrecking anything until I felt the slight indentations that my fingers left in the wall.

"It's about time our century-and-then-some-old virgin became a man and got laid," Emmett said, thinking that he was joking or making light of things.

Rage simmered in me, finally erupting to a boil. I threw the unprepared Emmett across the room to crash into one of our many flat-screens.

"Shit, Edward, did you really have to do that?" Emmett asked, pissed. _That one's my favorite, too!_

I couldn't care less about which flat-screen was his favorite. "I never want to hear you say a word about Bella in less than total respect, Emmett," I hissed. My family looked almost frightened, seeing this side of me. "Or a repeat scenario will happen."

Esme opened her mouth, but instead of scolding me, she took my side. "He's right, Emmett," she told him in her firm, parental voice. "That is no way to talk about a lady, especially Edward's girlfriend, or whatever you want to call her." _The way that that boy makes her sound, it's as if she were a prostitute or slut, or something! _"You know that she's already almost like a daughter to me. What mother wants to hear her son talk about her daughter – not literally, yes, I know – _that _way?"

Emmett opened his mouth, about to say something, but closed it again. _What's wrong with you, Edward?_

I sighed. "On another note…when I went to take Bella home, there were two people waiting for her on the porch. They were two of the Quileutes."

Shock emanated from everyone.

"The Quileutes?" Jasper spoke, his voice strangled. "But…but…."

"Don't worry, I don't think the young one's a werewolf yet," I assured him. "At least, he doesn't smell so much. The old one still knows the stories about us and he…came to…warn Bella."

"What'd you do to him?" Emmett asked. "Beat him up?" _Please, please tell me that you took care of him._

"Well, no. He was shooting me these death glares."

"That's a problem," Alice said. "But one we can take care of later." _There's no need to get worked up about it right now._

The six of us sat in uncomfortable silence. Emmett hauled himself from the shattered remains of technology present in that room, and took his seat next to Rosalie. Alice's eyes were distant, and I tuned in to her mind. Jasper, sensing that she was taking her look into the future, hugged her gently.

Oh, no. Even a possibility….

I didn't realize I was growling until Esme looked at me in concern. _Settle down, son!_ "What?"

"Wolves," I managed.

"They could come back," Alice said, her eyes snapping back into the present.

"What?!" Rosalie spoke for the first time. "Those – " _– damned mutts!_

"It's only a possibility," I murmured. "But it's definitely there."

Carlisle came in to find us all stunned into silence. Quickly and quietly, I told him the events of the rest of the day.

"That certainly is a problem, but not one we can do anything about." He spoke quickly as he gathered a stray baseball into his hands. "And to the best of my knowledge, Alice, you called, telling me that we were going to play, right?"

"Yes, sir."

"Then let's get ready."

That was sufficient enough to distract everyone's thoughts as we gathered all the baseball equipment.

"I'm going to go get Bella," I announced after I changed into my baseball outfit and donned a raincoat. I grabbed Emmett's keys to his Jeep and headed to the garage.

The drive to her house along the slick, nearly deserted roads was a tense one. I kept thinking about how that conversation went, and how Charlie was going to take me.

I knocked, and Charlie's thoughts tensed.

_I need to have a _talk_ with the young man…just so he knows his limits._

I heard Bella's light footsteps as she flung open the door. My hair was in a terrible, dripping disarray, I knew, but her eyes roamed my face as a light entered her eyes.

Smiling, I took her hand.

"Come in, Edward," Charlie ordered. I was rather under the impression that he had been calling me Edwin for the last few minutes, but…? Who knows?

"Thanks, Chief Swan," I replied in the most polite, mature voice I could muster.

"Go ahead and call me Charlie," he told me. His stern rigidity of mind was melting as he heard my polite words. "Here, I'll take your jacket."

"Thanks, sir."

_She sure knows how to pick 'em – the one with perfect manners._ "Have a seat there, Edward.

I immediately planted my butt in the one chair, and Bella shot me an absolutely adorable look of frustration as she sat with Charlie. However, I didn't want to show too much PDA to him right now, because I really needed to be on his good side right now, though I felt like I already was, probably.

"So…I hear you're getting my girl to watch baseball," he started. _And she's going to come home with a concussion, no less, I gather?_

"Yes, sir," I replied, my voice quiet and respectful. "That's the plan."

"Well…more power to you, I guess." _She must really like this Edward, if she's willing to sit through a single game._

The two of us chuckled together, and Bella's cute blush turned back on.

"Okay, enough humor at my expense!" she declared, grabbing her jacket. "Let's go."

Charlie and I followed. _I hope that big guy in their family doesn't tackle her or something…and I hope that the ball doesn't fly out of nowhere and hit her on the head._

"Not too late, Bells," Charlie said, the fatherly tone kicking back in.

"Don't worry, Charlie – I'll have her home early," I promised.

_He better._ "You take care of my girl, all right?"

Bella groaned, hiding her face in her jacket.

"She'll be safe with me, I promise, sir." That was a promise I couldn't keep…but anything to placate Charlie, I guess.

_Good kid she has there…wonder what college he's going to go to…probably Ivy…well, I guess it's not so good when they're dating, _now_, since they don't have much high school together._ My features contorted into a grimace.

Bella stomped out, leaving us both laughing.

Her rain boots squeaked as she stopped on the porch. She saw the Jeep and her face froze in a mask of shock.

_Lord, who knows what the Cullens will do next. _"Wear your seat belts!" Charlie called, his awe leaking into his voice.

Bella marched over to the passenger side with I in her wake. Her legs tensed as she prepared to jump the whole distance to the seat. I let out a small sigh and then lifted her up with a hand. I walked back over to my side, climbing in easily.

Her fingers fumbled with the buckles, and I was more than glad to help her. I knew that Charlie couldn't see us through the pouring rain, so I took my time, my fingers lingering longer at certain places, my icy skin brushing against her neck, her face, her legs….

Once we were back on the road, she spoke.

"This is a – uh – big Jeep you have," she commented.

"It's Emmett's," I chuckled. "I didn't think you'd want to run the whole way." I didn't want to knock the forest down, either.

"Where do you _keep_ this thing?" she fired off.

"We remodeled one of the outbuildings into a garage," I answered.

"Aren't you going to put on your seat belt?" she continued.

I shot her a half-amused, half-disbelieving look. We could be crushed by an eighteen-wheeler and I would come out unscathed. Bella, however, was another story entirely.

Her fingers suddenly tightened on the armrests. "Run the whole way?" she asked, breath catching again. "As in we're still going to run? Part of the way?" Her voice was squeaking now.

My lips were turned up now. "_You're_ not going to run."

She snorted. "Mm…_I'm _going to be _sick_."

I chose that moment to take in a breath, and oh, God knows how she smelled to me. That fragrance wafting off her skin, and her oh-so-ladylike scent enhanced by the rain…it was enough to rip my throat into flames. "Keep your eyes closed, and you'll be fine," I assured her.

Her teeth bit her lip, and I wished that _I_ was the one biting her lip.

At a red light, I couldn't help but lean over and press my lips to her head. The taste of her skin and the feeling of the pulse of her blood was extraordinary, and I wanted to stay here with my mouth on her, forever. My tongue came out and licked her gently, savoring the taste.

"Oh…"I moaned. "You smell so _good_ in the rain."

"In a good way?" she asked hesitantly. "Or…in a bad way?"

I let out my held breath. "Both, always both," I answered, defeated.

The light turned green again, and I hit the gas. We eventually came to the path that led to the clearing where we were going to play, and the rain eased. The terrain was rocky and uneven, and Bella looked almost pained as we made our way up the slope. I, however, was enjoying myself, like I always did whenever we would go through grounds like this. And Bella was a fascinating sight too. Her eyes were closed as we bumped up and down, and her hair was flying everywhere. Her chest…that tempting chest…was bouncing up and down, just begging me to grab them.

Finally, we came to the end of that path, and I cut the engine.

"Sorry, Bella," I told her. "We have to go on foot from here."

She opened her mouth, then closed it, then opened it again. "You know what?" she asked. No, of course I didn't know what. "I'll just wait here."

"What happened to all your courage?" I breathed, leaning involuntarily toward her. "You were _extraordinary_ this morning."

"I haven't forgotten the last time yet," she muttered.

I sped to her side, taking the same pleasure in freeing her from the car as I did buckling her in.

"I'll get those! You go on ahead!"

How would I get her to forget all her misgivings…ah. The perfect solution.

Getting rid of the rest of the buckles, I leaned over in her ear. "Hmm…it seems I'm going to have to tamper with your memory," I whispered in what I hoped was a seductive tone. I felt extremely idiotic as I tried to be, well, sexy.

I yanked her out of the Jeep and set her down. I pulled her face up as I leaned down, so that our lips were only inches apart.

"Now, what exactly are you worried about?" I asked, closing my eyes to breathe in her scent.

"Well, uh, hitting a tree, and, uh, dying, and, uh, getting sick."

I grinned in spite of myself, then bent my head down so that I was kissing her neck. The taste that I could experience, the feeling I had from her blood when my lips were over her pulse point, was an unforgettable feeling.

"Are you still worried now?" I asked, sucking on her neck now gently.

"Yes, about hitting trees and getting sick," she persisted.

My nose drew a curve up her neck to her chin. I could feel her shudder, since I was probably making her ticklish. "And…now?"

"Trees," she mumbled. "Motion sickness."

I looked into her eyes, and she closed them. I kissed her eyelids, gazing at every last blood-filled blood vessel in them. "Bella…you really don't think I would hit a tree…do you?" I asked, my voice rough and hopefully convincing.

"No…" she whispered. "But I might."

I grinned as I kissed back down her face. "Would I let a _tree_ hurt you?" I asked, my lips now pressed against her quivering lower one.

"No," she sighed against my face, her warm, sweet breath washing over me.

"You see," I murmured, not quite kissing her, but with my lips against hers now. "There's nothing to be afraid of, is there?"

Her shoulders went limp in my grasp. "No," she muttered, defeated.

I couldn't bear this strain anymore, and I pulled her lips thirstily to mine.

Her mouth was heaven for mine; her lips engulfed and sucked on mine. My lips moved with hers, obeying every command hers had for me. I was now pressing her up fully against me, and I was being aroused…and I had a wee bit of a problem…downstairs.

She opened her lips and gasped. I was all of a sudden painfully aware of what she was doing; how she was pressing against me, how her heart jumped into hyperactivity mode, how she was forcing her lips even harder against mine.

I pushed her away. My breath was ragged, too. "Damn it, Bella!" I couldn't stop myself from saying, while I tried to gather my senses. "You'll be the death of me, I swear you will!"

I let go of her and she leaned down against her knees. If Emmett was nearby, I would've asked him to give me a good hard kick in the shins. Why couldn't I resist her blood? Even _now_?

"You're indestructible," she said simply.

"I _might _have believed that before I met you," I growled back, my voice shooting daggers at her. "Now, let's get out of here before I do something _really_ stupid."

Grabbing her waist with one arm – perhaps a bit roughly – I threw her over my shoulder. I heard her gasp as she landed on my stone-like back and instantly regretted being so careless. Luckily, I didn't think she bruised…I hoped not….

My lips whispered in her ear, "Don't forget to close your eyes."

I then took off, venting my emotions in the ground below me. I ran faster than I ever had, and I could hear Bella's gasps on my back, and hoped that I wasn't going too fast.

When I stopped just by the clearing, I waited for her to climb off. She didn't respond. I turned back to her and ran my finger down her hair. "It's over, Bella," I assured her.

She opened one eye and tried to pry herself from me. However, she loosened her arms first so she teetered back and fell on her cute little butt, right on the ground. She gasped as her body made contact with the damp earth.

I just stared at her, and she glared at her. Finally, I took in the look on her face and the peculiar predicament she was in and I was able to restrain my laughter no longer.

_Sheesh, what _happened _to make you laugh like that, Edward? _Emmett was being an annoying jerk. _What did she do?_

_Why such strong amusement? _I scowled – Jasper would know, obviously.

Bella shot me one more look and picked herself up. She twisted back to try and brush the dirt off her butt, but she couldn't quite, so that, naturally, threw me back into the throes of extreme laughter.

She then marched off in the opposite direction, directly away from the game.

I reached out to pull her back. My arm twisted itself around her waist. "Where are you going, Bella?" I asked, pulling her against me.

"To watch a baseball game," she replied, as if that were obvious. "_You_ don't seem to be interested in playing anymore, but I'm sure the others will have fun without you."

Hating to break the news, I whispered in her ear, "You're going the wrong way."

She blushed for just a second, and then stalked off in the other direction. Once again, I grabbed and restrained her.

"Don't be mad," I pleaded. "I couldn't help myself. You should have…seen your face." A small laugh escaped my lips just thinking about it.

_Edward, ever heard of a poker face?_ Alice lectured me.

She put her slender hands on her hips. "Oh, you're the only one who's allowed to get mad?" she demanded, her eyebrow arched.

"I wasn't mad at you," I replied, truthfully.

A smirk played on her lips. " 'Bella, you'll be the death of me'?" she reminded me.

"That," I clarified. "Was simply a statement of fact.

"You _were_ mad!" she said, frustrated now.

I couldn't deny her the truth. "Yes."

"But – but you just said…."

"That I wasn't mad at you," I said, quietly. "Can't you see that, Bella? Don't you understand?" How it frustrated me so, that I couldn't know what she thought!

"See…_what_?"

"I'm never angry with you," I murmured, staring into her eyes, willing her to understand. "How could I be? Brave, trusting, warm as you are." I took in the sight of the beautiful human in front of me. I was right. I could _never_ harbor a single lasting grudge against her. Except for maybe being so tempting that I had a hard time from having my way with her, right _there_. _Stop_, I told myself. _You. Are. A. Freaking. Vampire! You can _never_ be with her! Never!_

"Then why?" she asked, not comprehending.

My family, sensing that I needed a 'moment', blocked their thoughts.

My hands placed themselves on either side of her warm, blush-filled, tempting, delicious-smelling face. I cradled her head gently. "I infuriated myself, the way I can't seem to keep from putting you in danger," I admitted. "My very _existence_ puts you at risk. Sometimes, I truly _hate_ myself. I should be stronger, I should be able to – "

Her delicate, soft, un-calloused hand came up to cover my mouth. "Don't," she pleaded.

My hand came up, too, to move her hand over to my cheek. I brushed the softness over me once, twice, three times….

"I love you," I confessed, never breaking my gaze from her. "It's a poor excuse for what I'm doing…but it's still true."

Her breath caught, and her fingers curled against my skin. She brushed her hand against my stone-like, cold skin as if I were someone who actually deserved her, as if I weren't a vile, repulsive, disgusting, _monster_.

I wanted to kiss her again. I couldn't help it.

"Now," I whispered. "Please, _try_ to behave yourself." I bent down and cupped her face again to kiss her gently, chastely, once more.

She didn't move anything except her lips. Then she let out a small breath. "You promised Chief Swan that you would have me home early, remember?" she told me. "We'd better get going."

"Yes, ma'am," I said, trying to say it in a Southern accent.

_That is _way_ off base, bro. Take Southern-speaking lessons from me, _Jasper told me, all cocky.

Reluctantly, I released all of Bella except her hand, still locked with mine. I pulled her with me through the rest of the trees and we came upon the field.

Bella's eyes raked over the scenes. Emmett and Jasper both greeted me warmly though their thoughts, as did Esme and Carlisle. Alice was hyper and jumpy, as usual, but Rosalie's eyes were malevolent as they focused on Bella with burning, total hatred.

_Really, Edward, you felt the need to bring this _human_ here. _She up and left, striding away from us across the field.

Emmett shot Bella and I a regretful look. _I'm really sorry, bro. I don't know what Rosalie has against Bella, so clearly._ He stared at her retreating back.

Bella leaned into me, and I felt a surge of hate. How dared Rosalie make my, _my_ love, Bella, feel so unwanted and unwelcome? How could she be so cold?

I wrapped my arm around her and rubbed her back soothingly.

_Glad to see Bella…oh._ Esme shot a vampire-speed-fast glance across her shoulder at Rosalie. _I'm sorry, son._ "Was that _you_ we heard, Edward?"

Emmett grinned, though it didn't reach his eyes. "It sounded like a…bear. Choking."

Bella's mouth curved up into the beautifully proportioned smile I loved. "That was him," she assured them.

"Bella was being unintentionally funny," I joked. I looked down at her, and she glanced up. We were lost in each other's eyes until Emmett interrupted. _Get a room!_

Emmett is so freaking annoying! I glared at him. Alice jumped in between us. "It's time," she told us as skidded – literally – to a stop.

As the words left her mouth, the sky boomed in a clap of thunder. Bella jumped in surprise.

_Looks like she's scared of _something_, at least. _"Eerie, isn't it?" Emmett asked, winking at Bella easily.

_Are you going to get your body moving or what?! _"Let's go!" Alice exclaimed as she yanked Emmett across the field to the plate.

My hand moved itself to Bella's back. "Are you ready for some ball?" I asked, her. I was giddy with excitement at the thought of the coming game. We hadn't played at all this year, and I didn't know how good I was going to be.

_Dude…that sounded _incredibly_ wrong,_ Emmett thought.

Annoying Emmett just _had_ to make me want to go over and strangle him.

"Uh...go team!" Bella said, mustering up some fake excitement.

I grinned at her attempt and ran my hand roughly through her hair, messing it up. She squealed and I ran off after Alice and Emmett, aware that her eyes were on me the whole time. I ran as fast as I could, loving the exhilaration and the pleasure of feeling the wind run through my hair.

Esme had gone over to guide Bella over. I heard them conversing in soft, mellow tones.

"We're field, Edward," Alice told me. I was fully aware of that, of course; I preferred being in the field, since I was fast. Emmett was at home plate, swinging a baseball bat intimidatingly – or what he hoped was. _Bella's in for a big game!_

"All right," Esme said to us as she and Bella arrived. "Batter up."

I quickly made my way to the edge of the field. Emmett, I knew, would swing as hard as he could, and I needed to be prepared.

Trusting Alice with pitching was a very good idea. She was the best pitcher I'd ever seen. Her fingers would grip the ball lightly, and her eyes would narrow. In one single second, she would wind up, and the ball would go flying straight to the batter. Her form was so good that she didn't seem to have moved

Emmett didn't hit and Jasper reached out to catch the ball. He then threw it back to Alice.

She smiled. _Strike one against the great, 'undefeatable' Emmett!_

_Come on. Little sis can pitch against me?_ Emmett thought, disgruntled.

Alice pitched again and this time, Emmett swung at it hard. I needed no confirmation from my teammates to go soaring into the forest at top speed. My eyes darted up, and I could see the ball still arcing down several yards in front of me. I sped forward as fast as I could, and slid down to catch the ball several inches off the ground. At the end of the slide, my head met a tree. Not that it hurt me, but the tree was shaken pretty badly.

I heard Esme's distant voice call 'out'. Triumphant, I jogged back to the field, holding the ball in my hand. Bella's eyes were incredulous, staring at me and the ball.

The game continued, and I never knocked a tree down (tree-huggers rejoice). The thunderstorm masked our game, and I let myself loose and focused solely on the game. I saw Bella wince as Jasper and Carlisle crashed into each other after the former had hit; however, it took more than that to wind us up in the ER.

While we switched after I caught Rosalie's hit – the third out – I raced over to Bella.

"What do you think?" I asked, throwing my arm around her. She smiled. One good thing about being a vampire was that you would never sweat. Back in my day, they didn't have that many good, functional anti-perspirants or deodorizers.

Her grin stretched wider. "One thing's for sure: I'll never be able to sit through dull old Major League Baseball again." Her eyes were bright as she watched me.

"And it sounds like you did so much of that before," I joked.

_She's the Chief's daughter,_ Jasper reminded me. _Of course her childhood is mixed with intermittent Mariners games._

"I am a little disappointed," she continued.

What had I done? "Why?" I asked.

She only smiled more, if it were possible. "Well, it _would_ be nice if I could find just _one_ thing that you didn't do better than anyone else on the planet."

_Hey, hey!_ Emmett's thought came. _Don't become cocky!_

I just laughed. "I'm up," I told her, and ran back to take my place in line.

Rosalie was a close second, as far as outfielding skills went. I did what I could to keep the ball out of her reach – hit low to the side was probably the best tactic. It worked; her thoughts and her features were scowling when I'd made it to second.

When we switched again, I suddenly saw it in Alice's mind.

The visitors were coming. _Now_.

The three were coming – looking like typical nomads, the ones they were. They'd changed course when they heard our game. Their eyes sparkled with curiosity and eagerness. Their irises were a deep burgundy color.

They were predators of humans.

A thrill of agony and fear for Bella's life, as well as fury with myself, ran through me.

_Too late,_ Alice's thoughts chanted. I looked at her, and I saw fear in her eyes as well. Oh, dear God, no. Take me. The new ones could do whatever they wanted with me – rip me apart, burn the pieces, whatever – but they just _had_ to leave Bella alone!

_Stop it,_ Jasper ordered, sensing my distress. _That's not helping._

I ran back to Bella's side, and took up a strange, unfamiliar – but instinctual - position in front of her, blocking her from any dangers that might come.

"Alice?" Esme asked, her forehead creasing in worry. _It couldn't be! It's much, much, much too early for that! _

Jasper and Emmett's thoughts instantly switched to being big-brotherly concerned. They were nearly as protecting of Bella as I was, and they were ready to go to extremes to protect her now. Even Jasper, who wanted her blood more than anything. For tonight, I was extremely grateful to these brothers I had.

"I didn't see," Alice whispered in reply. "I...couldn't tell."

I wanted to die. Bella was in mortal danger _again_. All because of my pitiful existence. Why couldn't death find me when I wanted to die?

"What is it, Alice?" Carlisle asked. My father was the picture of tranquility during an emergency, but his thoughts were running wildly, too. _Oh, Lord, Bella can't be in danger. And if they find her as appealing...._

I didn't want to think of that.

"They were traveling much quicker than I thought," Alice admitted, her eyes fearful. "I can see I had the perspective wrong before."_ This is all my fault._

It most certainly was not. I knew that she hadn't seen anything, either. Jasper, sensing her quiet fury at herself, hugged her and then took up the same protective stance over Alice as the one I had over Bella. "What changed?" he asked

"They heard us playing," she murmured. "And it changed their path." _If we'd never thought of a game tonight, Bella would be safe right now._

"How soon?" Carlisle asked me.

New voices were making themselves clear in my head. That meant that they were four miles away at the very most. It would take them...approximately four minutes and fifty seconds to arrive.

"Less than five minutes," I replied, my posture tensing.

_I wonder what the humans here _have_ in their blood – I'm already full, and I think I want another helping!_

Oh no, you don't!

_Are the ones here competent at all?_

_It sounds like it's a large coven. How could it be?_

"How many?" Emmett asked, turning to Alice. _I'll be damned if I don't rip them apart for Bella!_

_Oh, no. They are not stepping anywhere _near_ Bella. I'll see to that._ Jasper was furious now, not only at the threat that they posed to my love whose heartbeats may now be numbered – no! I couldn't think that!

"Three," Alice replied.

"Three! Let 'em come!" Emmett's arm muscles flexed, and we all looked at the sheer muscle he possessed.

Carlisle thought of another plan of action. _If we leave, they'll follow us...if they stay, we'll be found for sure...fight or flee? Fight._

"Let's just continue the game," Carlisle said in a calm voice. "Alice said they were simply curious."

"Edward!" Esme hissed at me quietly. "Are they...well...you know...thirsty?"

Well, they shouldn't be, but they were certainly greedy enough to take whatever they could find. "No," I reassured her, shaking my head.

_Well, that's good._

"You catch, Esme," I suggested, wanting to be near Bella should anything happen. "I'll call it now."

Rosalie was furious through all this. _How dare this little human put our whole family in danger! I hope you're listening, Edward, because it's true. If you'd never fallen like a lovesick puppy for her, we'd be happily continuing our game. But _no_, you had to bring her along. Now what do you think can help our situation?!_

Carlisle would never forgive me if I dared to just rip something off Rosalie, maybe just one finger, or an ear, and Emmett would burn me alive, so I decided against it.

I was at Bella's side, and I breathed in her scent as much as I could, determined to burn this memory into my mind. I would die soon, I was sure, if Bella were to be hurt. That was fine. I would go with the memory of my cherished, beloved human soul mate branded forever in my mind, planted forever in my dead, unbeating heart. My heart was hers. If she were to die, my heart would be gone, too. I would never live without her. Esme would be shocked and saddened; Carlisle would do nothing to stop me, but he would be sad as well; Rosalie, in all fairness, would probably just be glad; Emmett and Jasper would adamantly refuse, and Alice might even produce real tears, but I knew what I was going to do. If she somehow survived this encounter, I would _try_ to distance myself forever from her. I would try never to set eyes on her again. I would be able to find hundreds upon hundreds of other girls throwing themselves at me. I didn't need to put Bella in so much perpetual danger. As much as that would rip my heart, better to dampen one's spark of life than to put Bella in danger. I was willing to extinguish the lone flame of light that flickered inside me right now if I could only be sure that she would never be endangered because of the supernatural again. If Bella didn't survive, well, I would find my way to her one last time, one way or another.

Of course, such things would never exist in hell. Carlisle had told me before of what hell was like, described by Christians. It was a burning, fiery lake – what an oxymoron – that separated you from any sense of life, of existence, of glory, of feeling. Except pain. That was all that was – pain.

I could handle that. However, I could _not_ handle it if my view of heaven and my angel was obstructed.

"Take your hair down," I told Bella, my voice hoarse with nervousness as I snapped out of my reverie.. I wanted so much to kiss her right then and there, but this wasn't the right time for it, for sure.

_Ah...human! I can definitely smell it now._ A masculine voice was heading closer to my Bella. I drew up my stance before Bella again.

Bella clung to me, like a frightened child to her mother. If only I could offer a mother's protection; but no, I had to bring unnecessary dangers and threats to her life. "The others are coming now," she whispered, frightened.

"Yes," I murmured, not able to lie. "Stay very still. Keep quiet, and don't move from my side. Please," I pleaded, trying to mask my worry. She wasn't fooled, though; she looked up with wide, knowing, warm brown eyes that I allowed myself to drown in once more. If only I could never resurface.

My hands wrapped themselves in her hair and gently loosened the hair band holding her long, beautiful, floral-smelling hair back. I arranged it around her face carefully, draping her in an attempt to mask her scent. I knew that that wouldn't help; but that was just an excuse to feel her hair in my hands once more. Her silky, beautiful hair, that would soon be....

"That won't help," Alice said gently. "I could smell her across the field. _Edward, brother, you can't do any more to help. You've done all you can. Leave it._

"I know," I said, my teeth gritted. I hated being so powerful when it came to destruction – speed, wit, brains, muscle – and being so utterly powerless when it came to protecting the one who mattered most.

The others' minds – other than Rosalie's – were in the same state of mangled mental despair and confusion as mine. The game started back up, but this time there was no joy, no pleasure, in playing. Everyone's eyes would flicker about warily, as if expecting them to pop out of nowhere.

_Surely we must be close to where they're playing, _a woman thought. _I bet they're no match for my curveball – hah!_

"What did Esme ask you?" Bella murmured, timidly.

I didn't want to tell her – it would frighten her, but she should know. "Whether or not they were...thirsty."

She nodded shortly, and leaned against me for the comfort and protection I couldn't give. _Stupid, stupid,_ a voice chanted in my head. _Worthless!_

No one cared about the game anymore – they were only going through the motions. My eyes scanned the forest, and my ears were fixed on their thoughts. Presently, I focused back on the angel who I fervently hoped would survive this.

"I'm sorry, Bella," I apologized, looking into her eyes, wondering if she would ever, ever forgive me for jeopardizing her beautiful, precious being. "It was stupid...irresponsible, to expose you like this. I'm so sorry." I looked down, ashamed to meet her beautiful gaze anymore. I would let her go, after this. She was never meant for me. I couldn't have her. She should go live an ordinary life, like humans did, and she would soon forget about the odd vampire boy she met once upon a time in high school. She would never remember.

She would be safe.

I heard their footsteps now – their rapid, falling footsteps. I stared at the trees on right field, as did the others. They were tense and wound up. I spread myself in front of Bella, trying to protect her as much as possible from what was coming.

And soon enough, they came.

**AN: So so so so so so sorry! But updating is hard and will be harder once school starts!**

**So Edward's lamenting is so sad, right? **

**Anyways, review, please?**


	7. The Hunt

The Hunt

The three came from the trees in the edge. The first one – James, I found – was first, but fell back for the rest of the small nomadic coven. _Hurry up, slowpokes! Do I really have to bite you guys? Laurent! Victoria! Hurry up!_

Laurent and Victoria. James was obviously the leader, though they were trying to trick us by making us think that Laurent was the leader, which was why James and Victoria were flanking Laurent. Victoria's hair was a bright scarlet, almost, and it moved with every unnecessary breath she took.

_Easy…go slowly…Laurent! You're supposed to be the 'leader' here!_

The three advanced toward us cautiously. They stalked forward, wary and light on their feet. They sized Carlisle up, who was standing calmly under their scrutinizing gazes. When Emmett and Jasper took their places on either side of Carlisle, the nomads seemed taken aback.

_Was he a weight lifter in his human life?_ Laurent wondered.

Victoria was extremely edgy. _Will they just talk already?_

_Human, definitely, somewhere near hear,_ the damned James thought maliciously. I wanted to go and tear his throat out and burn him.

Laurent, taking the pretense of leader of the coven, covered the last few paces so that he was standing only a few yards from Carlisle. His eyes were wide, and an all-too-familiar shade of ruby.

"We thought we heard a game. I'm Laurent, these are Victoria." He gestured to the female, who just nodded. "And James." The latter did not move at all.

"I'm Carlisle," Carlisle declared. "This is my family, Emmett and Jasper, Rosalie, Esme and Alice, Edward, and Bella." _I hope they don't know who's who._

_Okay…I guess the big guys are Emmett and Jasper, but who knows, he could be tricking us. No idea who the rest are._ The ploy worked. I allowed myself a very small smile, and Carlisle nodded.

_Good, they're confused. _

"Do you have room for a few more players?" Laurent questioned.

"Actually," Carlisle said, "we were just finishing up. But we'd certainly be interested in another time. Are you planning to stay in the area for long?"

_Canada,_ Laurent thought, before speaking. "We're headed north, in fact, but we were curious to see who was in the neighborhood. We haven't run into any company in a long time."

"No," Carlisle agreed. "This region is usually empty except for us and the occasional visitor like yourselves."

_They're wound up…relax, ye three nomads, relax…dude! Calm down!_

Jasper was getting frustrated, trying to use all his strength to calm them down. James was particularly stubborn, and I saw Jasper's teeth clench together tightly. Finally, I felt James calm down, too. _There, finally. Stubborn much?_

"What's you're hunting range?" Laurent continued with his interrogation. _I wonder how they feed, in a town of this size. Though a human does sound tasty right now. _I stiffened, and straightened my stance in front of Bella. Amazingly, they hadn't figured out that Bella was a human yet. They heard a heartbeat, they smelled her delicious blood, but they assumed that it was a hiker on the path, and for that I was grateful.

"The Olympic Range here," Carlisle answered. _They're making absurd, illogical conclusions. _"Up and down the Coast Ranges on occasion. We keep a permanent residence nearby – there's another permanent settlement like ours up near Denali."

"Permanent?" Laurent asked, shocked. "How do you manage _that_?"

"Why don't you come back to our home with us and we can talk comfortably?" Carlisle asked. _As soon as they're preoccupied, take Bella and _run_, _Carlisle ordered.

_Ugh! I need that human's blood! That's the first thing I'm doing! _I felt a stab of fear. With that kind of mind, James could be nothing but a – a –

Tracker. Oh, dear God.

_Home?_ James and Victoria thought at the same time.

"That sounds very interesting," Laurent said. _At least they're hospitable. _"And welcome. We've been on the hunt all the way down from Ontario…and we haven't had the chance to clean up in a while." _If they'll just let us creep out tonight – _

"Please don't take offense, but we'd appreciate it if you'd refrain from hunting in this immediate area," Carlisle said quickly. "We have to stay inconspicuous. You understand," he added with a warm smile.

"Of course we certainly won't encroach on your territory," Laurent assured him. _Aw, man! The humans smell tasty! _"We just ate outside of Seattle, anyway."

A low growl ripped from my throat.

"We'll show you the way if you'd like to run with us," Carlisle offered. _Now!_ "Emmett and Alice, you can go with Edward and Bella to get the Jeep."

Alice's vision was quick and brief, but told me what I needed. Bella's hair being blown about, James smelling it, him advancing menacingly toward us.

And it happened as so.

Bella's hair sent wafting waves of the delicious, floral scent to me – and James. He whirled around, his wine-colored eyes resting on Bella. _I knew it. A human here! And a little girl, at that. This should be easy, since there's no reason for _them_ to protect her. _He advanced toward Bella, whom I heard a small whimper from. I immediately mirrored James's position, with the snarls coming full-time from me now. His eyebrow cocked up in challenge. _Oh, you're going to stop _me?_ No one has _ever_ stopped me, youngster. And you're not going to, either. I am going to get her blood and that's the end of it!_

No, I refused to let him another inch closer to Bella. All of the others' thoughts were a wordless _oh my God._

Wherever he turned, I would, too. His thoughts always gave him away.

"What's this?" Laurent demanded. _Great, James, you've destroyed any chance of smoothing it out with this coven. Smart, as usual! Just dandy._

"She's with us!" Carlisle said, his voice full of authority. Laurent took another deep breath. _Oh, I get it now. The human's _here_. No, James! Don't touch her! That big guy will rip you up! _

Emmett was grim with anticipation. _Take one step closer, and the Power of Three will burn you!_ He nicknamed himself, Jasper, and I with that name from the book series _Warriors_. **(AN: I know, that series wasn't out in '05, but I couldn't care less).**

"You brought a…snack?" Laurent asked, more hesitant now. _They wouldn't do that…would they?_

Filled with rage at the man's absurd assumptions, I only backed up closer to Bella and growled even louder. I was fully aware that Bella was in danger from me, too. I was all instinct now, and my lips were pulled back from my rows of glistening, white, sharp teeth, ready to tear James into bits.

"But she's human!"

_Yeah. I think they know that, Laurent, _Victoria thought sarcastically.

"Yes," Emmett spoke, his arm muscles rippling. _He _is_ dead now._

James took one last look at Bella. _I _will_ have her, one way or another._ He slowly straightened up, but I stayed crouched down, and I heard another small whimper from Bella. Suddenly, I felt terrible. I'd tried to tell her that I wasn't a monster; well, what was I now? A monster.

"It appears we have a lot to learn about each other," Laurent finally said.

"Indeed," Carlisle answered, his voice distant. _This was a bad idea._

"But we'd like to accept your invitation," Laurent continued. _Will they let us? I knew that James was going to mess it up!_ "And, of course, we will not harm the human girl. We won't hunt in your range, as I said."

_You've _got_ to be kidding me! _James stared at Bella and I in fury. _They are all going to die for this, and I don't give a shit about that._

Laurent was sincere, though. _I hope that James doesn't want to track her. We have to move on back north to Canada soon, I think. How could he do this?_

"We'll show you the way," Carlisle said. "Jasper? Rosalie, Esme?" The three stepped forward instantly, to us. Alice was right by Bella, and Emmett was eyeing James. Alice's thoughts were all defensive, but Emmett was all offense.

"Let's go," I whispered. "Bella."

_I can't believe James. He's going to be in big trouble as soon as I get my hands on him. The human _does_ smell nice, but couldn't he not do it _here?_ Could the timing be any worse?_ Laurent was now starting to seethe.

When I turned back to her, she still didn't move. Her eyes, wide with terror and fear – an expression etched forever in my mind – stared back at me. I hated that _I _was the one making her feel so frightened.

I yanked on her elbow, breaking her out of her frozen-ness. Alice and Emmett came close to us, blocking Bella from that vile tracker's view. It was excruciating to walk at Bella's speed to the trees. As soon as we stepped back out of the clearing, I threw her over my shoulder and ran out of there like a bat out of he…

_Slow down, bro. This won't help. He'll get her. _Alice was making me very frustrated. I just growled in return. For the first time, running did not hold that feeling of exhilaration or freedom for me. It was all tension and fear in the air.

As soon as we were at the Jeep, I threw her right into the backseat and ran to the driver's side immediately.

"Strap her in!" I commanded Emmett, who, for once, listened to me.

Alice hopped in beside me, and I backed out of there. My destination was: anywhere but Forks.

_I'm so sorry, Edward, he had to show up right then._ Alice had her head in her small hands, and I couldn't help but feel sorry for her. She was the psychic; she felt as if she were to blame.

"Damn that fucking James for appearing at the worst damn time. Shit. Why does this have to happen now? What the hell is going on?" I was mostly muttering to myself now. This was one way that I could focus on controlling my temper.

_Stop, Edward! _Emmett told me, sounding more serious, protective, and big-brotherly than ever. _That's not helping. Bella needs you!_

As soon as we were on the highway, speeding out of the area at ninety-five miles per hour, Bella spoke. "Where are we going?"

No one spoke.

"Damn it, Edward!" she yelled sharply. "Where are you taking me?"

"We have to get you away from here," I muttered, my voice tense with the fear that I so unsuccessfully tried to mask. Here I was, supposed to be her vampire guardian angel, and I was leaving her out for a _tracker_. What kind of a boyfriend was I? "Far away. Now."

"Turn around!" she screamed as the speedometer sped past one hundred. "You have to take me home!" She started tearing at her restraints.

"Emmett," I murmured. He knew instantly what I meant and went over to restrain her arms. I heard Bella grunt as she was held back.

_She doesn't know what he can do. She doesn't know that he's a tracker._

"No, Edward!" she cried, her voice anguished, tearing another hole in my heart. "No! You can't do this!"

I felt extremely monstrous, holding her against her will. Hell, by the definition held by the law, I was technically kidnapping her.

"I have to, Bella," I explained, feeling another rip in my heart. Why I had to do this, so that _this_ was the only option? "Now, please, be quiet."

"I won't!" she shouted. "You have to take me back! Charlie will call the FBI; they'll be all over your family! Carlisle and Esme – they'll have to leave, to hide forever!"

Controlling my voice was harder than I thought. "Calm down, Bella. We've been there before."

_You're agitating her, Edward. _Alice's jaw was clenched, and she was staring straight forward.

"Not over me, you don't!" she yelled. "You're not ruining everything over me."

_That is it!_ "Edward, pull over," Alice commanded.

I glared at her, and just went faster. By now, we'd put a safe distance between us and the town.

_Oh, just be stubborn! You love Bella; aren't you going to do the best for _her_?_ "Edward, let's just talk this through."

My temper snapped. "You don't understand!" I shouted in rage. In that moment, I pressed down extremely hard on the gas pedal. "He's a _tracker_! Alice, did you see that? He's a tracker!"

Emmett's mind flashed back to unpleasant memories that I would rather not deal with at the moment. _Ugh. Stop saying that. _

"Pull over, Edward," Alice ordered. _I mean it. Now, bro._

I pressed even harder.

_Edward, her blood will be on your hands._ "Do it, Edward!"

"Listen to me, Alice!" I retaliated. "I saw his mind; tracking is his passion, his obsession, and he wants _her_, Alice, her specifically. He begins the hunt – _tonight._"

Throughout all this, Bella was silent, but I could feel her uneasiness.

"He doesn't know where – "

I cut Alice off. "How long do you think it will take him to cross her scent in town?" I asked rhetorically. He already knew what to do. "His plan was already set before the words were out of Laurent's mouth!" I felt the steering wheel change it's shape slightly.

Bella inhaled sharply. "Charlie!" she exclaimed. I saw her eyes glistening again, and could've kicked myself in the shins for a moment. Great, that was the third time I'd made her cry. "You can't leave him there! You _can't_ leave him!" She struggled futilely against Emmett's steel grip, and every toss of her ripped the wound in my heart a little bit more.

"She's right," Alice murmured, biting her lip. _You know, think before you act. We could probably come up with a thousand reasons why this isn't exactly the best thing to do._

"Let's just look at our options for a minute," Alice said. _Don't speed – _

I swerved the car over to the shoulder and slammed on the breaks. Bella let out a little cry as she was bounced back and forth in the back of the Jeep.

"There are no other options," I said, my voice hard. A part of me was beating me up. _No! Don't be the stubborn, idiotic fool you are! Listen to Bella!_

Another part was yelling equally loudly. _Leave now. Do what's best for Bella. You love her._

"I'm not leaving Charlie," Bella said firmly.

I didn't answer, and I felt like I was being immensely childish in acting so. I was avoiding Bella's heartbroken pleas that broke my heart, too.

I was a selfish fool.

"We have to take her back," Emmett muttered, breaking the short pause of silence. _Okay, Edward, I don't give a shit about Charlie, but you know how much this is going to hurt both of them if you continue to act like such an asshole. When she's sad, you're sad. Do you want that? Really? You can see that this would be torture for everyone._

He did have a point. My hand unclenched from the steering wheel, but I still refused, and acted so idiotically. "No," I murmured, but less forcefully now.

"He's no match for us, Edward," Emmett pointed out. "He won't be able to touch her."

"He'll wait," I replied, knowing that James fully intended to get to Bella's blood, even if he had to wait that long.

Emmett grinned. _Ah, but that's where you don't factor in _our_ immortality. _"I can wait, too."

Bella's breaths sped up.

"You didn't see," I hissed. "You don't understand! Once he commits to a hunt, he's unshakable. We'd have to kill him!" Wait…that _was_ an option. However, leaving Bella unprotected for even the merest millisecond would be lethal.

"That's an option," Emmett returned. _Even if Carlisle disapproves, I'll light the fire myself._

"And the female," I reminded him. "She's _with_ him. If it turns into a fight…the leader will go with them, too." I was openly babbling now. I didn't have a clue as to whether Laurent would be on their side or ours.

"There are enough of us," he insisted.

None of us spoke for a moment. Then, Alice said, "There's another option."

My hand slammed down hard on the steering wheel, and the wheel bent even more. "There is no other option!" I yelled.

_Your temper tantrums aren't doing us any good, Edward._

Emmett and Bella were gaping at me, and I felt a wave of remorse. Great. I just _had_ to show off my anger management problems to Bella. However, this was much too serious, and Alice was just pushing me over my small edge of self-control.

_Don't, Edward. You'll frighten her. _Alice's eyes bored into mine, and she seemed, in that moment, to possess the wisdom of a thousand years. I sighed and broke my gaze from my sister.

"Does anyone want to hear my plan?" I was surprised to hear my love speak.

"No," I muttered. Knowing Bella, this would be dangerous. Extremely risky for everyone. Everyone but Charlie.

_Stupid fool, can you think of another idea?_ Alice's features hardened as she glared at me openly now.

"Listen," Bella begged, a note of desperation showing through in her voice. "You take me back – "

"No!"

Bella's eyes narrowed but she continued. "You take me back. I tell my dad I want to go home to Phoenix." She paused briefly, gauging my reaction. I kept my face carefully blank. "I pack my bags. We wait till this – this _tracker_ is watching, and then we run. He'll follow us…and leave Charlie alone."

I actually did pinch myself. Why, oh why, in the name of God was I so adamantly against Bella's idea? She was a genius, but I didn't want to admit it.

"Charlie won't call the FBI on your family; then you can take me any damned place you want!" she finished and held her breath for our reaction.

_Who knew…?_ "It's not a bad idea, really." Emmett was teasing her now.

"It might work," Alice murmured, to herself. "And we simply can't leave her father unprotected. You know that." The last part was directed toward me, and everyone's gazes fell on me.

"It's too dangerous," I muttered, but I knew a losing battle when I saw one. "I don't want him within a hundred miles of her."

Emmett was grinning. _Seriously, you doubt the power of Emmett? _"Edward, he's not getting through us."

Alice's mind was flipping frantically through images of the future, but her voice was still composed. "I don't see him attacking – he'll try to wait for us to leave her alone."

"It won't take long for him to realize that's not going to happen," I countered.

Bella's fist dashed against the seat. "I demand that you take me home!"

My hand went up to my face and I tried to wrestle with the different possibilities. I massaged my temples as my eyes closed.

If I followed Bella's plan, I would endanger her life by half an hour and a hundred miles more.

If I didn't, my love would be utterly heartbroken.

All things considered, the first would actually be better. If James wanted to touch her, I would be the first to go.

"Please," she whispered. I heard her fingers uncurl and reach toward me.

I remained silent for a few more excruciating seconds, trying to compose a mental list of pros and cons in my head. Finally, I gave up and drew an imaginary X over the whole paper.

I didn't look up, but I spoke. "You're leaving tonight, whether the tracker sees or not," I conceded. "You tell Charlie that you can't stand another minute in Forks. Tell him whatever story works. Pack the first things your hands touch. And then get in your truck. I don't care _what_ he says to you; you have _fifteen_ minutes. Do you hear me?" I asked, for emphasis. "Fifteen minutes from the time you cross the doorstep."

Bella leaned back slightly. I could hear the leather shift from under her and guessed that she was moving unintentionally. Finally, she was afraid. Good.

_Edward, that was out of line. _Alice was disapproving, and I knew she was right. In a modern-day teenage relationship, I was the abusive one. The mean, controlling boyfriend. That was exactly who I was. I needed to stop, but I just couldn't.

Finally, I stepped on the gas, and I flipped the Jeep around in an illegal U-turn over six lanes of highway and the strip of grass. We headed back toward the little town, and I was pushing one-thirty now.

Bella coughed. "Emmett?"

_Whoops. I bet her hands are losing circulation by now. _"Oh. Sorry." He let go of Bella's arms, and she let them drop to her sides.

An uncomfortable silence dropped over the four of us. I kept thinking of possible ways that the exchange could go, and Alice was becoming extremely frustrated at the overlapping, illogical visions she was getting.

"This is how it's going to happen," I explained to Alice and Emmett. "When we get to the house, if the tracker is _not_ there, I will walk her to the door. Then, she has fifteen minutes." I tilted the rearview mirror at Bella and glared at her. She stared back with wide, frightened eyes. Her beauty was masked under her fear. The expression made me want to die. I was doing everything wrong; why couldn't I get it right?

Because I was a murderous monster. A vampire. And she was the angelic human who deserved ultimately better than I.

"Emmett," I continued.

_Yes?_

"You take the outside of the house."

_Will do. _

"Alice, you get the truck."

_Okay, I need the keys. _I tossed the keys to her quickly.

"I'll be inside as long as she is. After she's out, you two can take the Jeep home and tell Carlisle."

As I spoke, Alice had found the vision, and showed it to me. I relaxed slightly when I saw no James jumping at us for the next twenty minutes.

"No way!" Emmett said. _Uh-uh, there is _no_ way I am going to go home to Carlisle. I am sticking around. _"I'm with you."

"Think it through, Emmett," I sighed. "I don't know how long I'll be gone."

"Until we know how far this is going to go, I'm with you," he insisted. _Save your breath, I'm staying._

I was defeated again. "If the tracker _is_ there, we keep driving."

"We're going to make it there before them." _I'm shocked, Edward. You know that I'm not having a false vision right now. You know it's real._

I stayed silent, but she didn't.

"What are we going to do with the Jeep?" Alice inquired.

"You're driving it home."

"No," she disagreed coldly. "I'm not."

My cussing picked back up again.

"We can't all fit back in my truck," Bella murmured softly, making me cease my profanities. I was disgusted with myself. I should know to control my language. I was such a stupid idiot!

"I think you should let me go alone," she continued.

The steering wheel was now ellipse-shaped. "Bella, please," I pleaded. "Just do this my way, just this once." My jaw was tensed.

"Listen, Charlie's not an imbecile. If you're not in town tomorrow…he's going to get suspicious."

"That's irrelevant," I insisted forcefully. "We'll make sure he's safe, and that's all that matters." I knew what she was concerned about – Charlie's _feelings_. I wasn't going to go out of my way to make him feel better. I had my angel with me, and so far, I was being a terrible protector for her.

"Then what about this tracker?" she challenged. "He saw the way you acted tonight! He's going to think you're with me, wherever you are."

_Wow, _two_ great ideas from the human. Unexpected twist of events. _"Edward, listen to her. I think she's right." Emmett took Bella's side.

"Yes, she is," Alice added.

"I can't do that," I muttered, my voice breaking a little. What were they asking me to do now, stay _away_ from her? While every second of her life was in danger, no less. I _was_ a terrible protector, but I couldn't _do _that.

Bella spoke again. "Emmett should stay too. He definitely got an eyeful of Emmett."

_Eh? Wait! I didn't really catch that. _"What?"

"You'll get a better crack at him if you stay," Alice put in, not answering Emmett.

My teeth clenched back together with an audible snap. This was very unlike Alice. Letting my Bella go…by herself? Without me? Maybe she could live with that, but I couldn't.

"You think…I should let her go alone?" I asked, not believing Alice.

_Ugh! Do you think I'm stupid or something?_ "Of course not! Jasper and I will take her."

I closed my eyes, trying to arrange my jumbled thoughts. I was sure that Alice and Jasper were fully capable of taking care of Bella, so that took some weight off my back, but I wouldn't be able to bear separation.

Live with it, I told myself sternly. This wasn't about my feelings – it was about Bella's life. Surely I could go a few days without seeing her. She'd be safe, anyway.

But I just _couldn't_ stay away from her!

"I can't do that," I whispered again, but this time I wasn't going to argue.

_You'll see that this is for the best, Edward. The tracker's not planning to do anything with Jazz and I around…yet._

Bella spoke again. "Hang out here for a week – "

I interrupted with a glare and she hurriedly amended her words. "A few days. Let Charlie see you haven't kidnapped me and lead this James on a wild-goose chase," she suggested. "Make sure he's _completely _off my trail. Then come and meet me. Take a roundabout route, of course, and then Jasper and Alice can go home."

That actually sounded like it made sense. I sighed in concession; there was no getting out of this now. "Meet you where?" I asked, my voice strained.

"Phoenix." She sounded like I was missing the obvious.

_You're missing the obvious,_ Emmett told me.

Gee, thanks.

"No," I refused. "He'll hear where you're going."

A smile slowly spread over her angel's face. "And you'll make it look like that's a ruse, obviously," she argued triumphantly. "He'll know that we'll know that he's listening. He'll never believe I'm actually going where I say I am going."

_Smart-ass human. _"She's diabolical," Emmett remarked, impressed.

"And if it doesn't work?" I questioned. Of course, I was being overly worried, but this was _Bella_, and I couldn't overlook anything.

"There are several million people in Phoenix."

I snorted. "It's not _that_ hard to find a phone book."

"I won't go home."

I was finished with the games. "Oh?" I asked, but it came out sounding like a dangerous growl.

"I'm quite old enough to get my own place," she told me.

"Edward," Alice rebuked. _Quit being a worrywart!_ "We'll be with her."

What a joke. "What are _you_ going to do in Phoenix?" I asked.

_Well, the same thing you would if you were there!_ "Stay indoors." _Duh!_

"I kind of like it," Emmett murmured. He was picturing himself holding James against a wall, taking him apart limb by limb. I liked the scene, except there was one thing out of place. The one to destroy James would be me. I was sure of it.

"Shut up, Emmett," I told him.

_Shutting. _"Look…if we try to take him down while she's still around, there's a much better chance that someone will get hurt," Emmett reasoned. "She'll get hurt, or you will, trying to protect her…now, if we get him alone…." _He will die._

What was going on with the world today? Emmett's battle plan was making _sense_? I couldn't believe it, but he was right. This might actually be better.

I was aware of Bella shivering as we crossed back over into town limits. I thought about my last words to her, and decided that they shouldn't be said in here.

It was difficult for me to make my voice smoother, and to keep it under control. "Bella," I whispered.

Alice and Emmett both thought of other random things as they turned their faces to the windows.

"If you let anything happen to yourself," I continued. "Anything at all – I'm holding you personally responsible. Do you understand that?"

Bella swallowed. "Yes," she whispered, even softer than I had.

"Can Jasper handle this?" I turned to Alice now.

She sighed. _Why do you have to doubt him so much? _"Give him some credit, Edward," she chastised. "He's been doing very, very well – all things considered."

I smiled slightly. "Can you handle this?"

_Oh, no you don't, bro! You don't doubt me!_ Alice's face distorted so that it was a hideous mask, and she snarled deeply and loudly. I saw Bella cringe and burrow deeper into her seat.

_Whoops, I scared her. Maybe I should – _

"But keep your opinions to yourself," I interjected quickly.

**AN: SO SO SO SO SO SO sorry! It's called school, sports, homework, and procrastination.**

**Review! Please!**

**So the hunt is on. The intensity comes in the next chapter. **


	8. Goodbyes

19. Goodbyes

**AN: Insanely long, I know! I'm sorry! But that's how long SM's chapter is so...=]**

A slight frown played on my face as I drove back up Bella's driveway.

Alice grimaced. _Oh, this isn't going to be pretty._

Charlie was sitting on his couch, reading Sports Illustrated. He was carefree for the moment, not knowing that his heart may be ripped in two in the next several minutes.

_Is the vile, scummy, son of a bitch here?_ Emmett was on edge, as was Alice...and I. We were all listening for him.

I tried to pick up his thoughts, but the only thoughts I could pick up were human ones.

"He's not here," I finally told them. "Let's go.

Emmett bent over to gently unstrap Bella from the seat, while reassuring her with a soft voice.

I smelled a rush of tears from Bella; those amazing, delicious, salty-sweet tears. My throat burned, but I knew that Bella must be near an emotional breakdown, and I couldn't have that if I wanted to get her out of here.

"Alice," I hissed. "Emmett."

They instantly hopped down and started circling the Chief's home.

I jumped out to open Bella's door for her. She was trembling, and I took her hand to steady here. When she was on the ground, I pulled her small, fragrant body close to mine. She was shaking, but I couldn't give her the comfort she needed. My eyes were scanning the nearby trees, trying to see if any of the vile intruders were going to make a guest appearance.

When we were on the porch, I looked her straight in the face. "Fifteen minutes," I reminded her quietly.

"I...I can do this," she whispered, more to herself than to me. I was about to twist open the door when Bella took my face in her delicate hands, and looked at me intently.

The look in her eyes was nothing like I'd ever known. This look was one of pure, unadulterated love...love that she felt for _me_, though I was undeserving beyond belief of that love.

"I love you," she murmured, her voice soft, but burning. "I will always love you. No matter what happens now."

I didn't like the way she said the last part, as if she were willing to just leave her life up to fate, or God, the supernatural power that I'd doubted, but controlled the future.

"Nothing is going to happen to you, Bella," I tried to convince her, but I swallowed when the lie was out past my lips.

"Just...follow the plan, okay?" she pleaded. "Keep Charlie safe for me. He's not going to like me very much after this ?and I want to have the chance to apologize later."

This wasn't doing much to keep me calm, and God knows how I can be when I wasn't calm. "Get inside, Bella," I begged. "We have to hurry!"

She turned a few degrees away from me, but turned right back. "One more thing," she whispered. "Don't listen to another word I say tonight!"

Before I could try to decipher her words, before I could do |anything|, her lips were on mine, and moving together in a special rhythm of their own.

In that moment, nothing mattered. With my utmost willpower, I pushed away the want for her blood, the need for her body to turn white. I resisted wanting to just sweep her away without an explanation for Charlie. No, for that second, it was only us.

And that moment ended too soon.

She darted away from me and threw the door open. I was still staggered from the kiss, and she stomped inside her house. "Go away, Edward!" she shouted.

For a moment, I was dazed. What? Didn't she just say that she loved me? Why was she yelling?

And then I understood. That's what she meant by 'don't listen to another word I say tonight'.

_You idiot! Go! Move! We don't have all night...in fact, if my memory serves me, you specifically said, fifteen minutes!_ Alice was on edge now.

I eyed her window and leapt up and into her room.

Bella was running up the stairs, and I started grabbing handfuls of random articles of clothing for her to pack. At that moment, supernatural speed was extremely helpful. I had grabbed and folded seventeen shirts and pants by the time Bella slammed the door shut, sending her scent in my direction. The smell of her blood was like a painful punch to me in the face.

She was unaware of me at first, and grabbed a duffel bag. She then reached under a mattress to produce a sock filled with cash. I nearly laughed. how cliché.

Bella spotted me as I moved to her dresser. I'd slowed down because I didn't want to crash into her as I ran from end to end of the little room. Reaching into the bottom drawer, I grabbed a load of clothing…undergarments and just a few articles of light clothing, fit for Phoenix, their destination.

A hard blow was inflicted on Bella's door. "Bella, are you okay?" Charlie asked, his voice edged with fright. "What's going on?"

I hadn't paid attention to anyone's thoughts at the moment, being so intensely preoccupied with throwing Bella's clothes together. But now, Charlie's thoughts were clear to me.

_|I don't understand...what could I have done to make her want to leave? I can change the way I am...being the daughter of the Chief can't be any fun...what did I do?|_

It wasn't you, I wanted to say. It was me. All me.

When Bella didn't answer, Charlie became even more hysterical. "Did he...hurt you?" _|I swear, Dr. Cullen will be run out of town if that young man laid a finger in the wrong place....|_

Yes, I did. I hurt her more than you can imagine, Chief Swan. Please, don't blame her or my family. Blame me.

"No!" Bella screamed, which was a total lie.

"Did he break up with you?" Charlie continued his interrogation.

"No!" she yelled again. Bella had retrieved her most important possessions, and I found vampire strength to be handy, too, as I squeezed the stacks of clothing together to occupy only three-fourths of the duffel bag. The rest were filled with things of importance to Bella.

"What happened, Bella?!" Charlie was at his wits' end. |Why won't she tell me? What happened?|

"I broke up with _|him|_!" I cringed. The way she said it...I could imagine that it was real. I |_wished_| for it to be real; that way, I would never hurt her again.

Bella's fingers fumbled with the zipper. I gently laid her hands aside and zipped the bag up. I laid the straps over her arm, and gave her a gentle push.

"I'll be in the truck," I muttered. "Go."

It took all that I had to get myself out of her room, out of her house, and to the truck.

_|He's coming!|_ Alice warned. My body, slightly relaxed before, tensed up all over again.

_|Don't worry, we're all over this,|_ Emmett thought with confidence. _|He'll be in pieces before he sets foot within a twenty-yard radius of her.|_

I only wished that I could believe my big brother.

I was an idiot. I left Bella and Charlie alone, in their house, and the tracker was coming. I could pick up James's thoughts now. _|Ugh, I can't bear it! That tasty human needs to...hmm, I wonder if she'll be a blood donor or if I'll have to take the blood by force...ahh. The taste!| _I flinched, but more out of fury than fear, at the image that James had. He was imagining Bella at his mercy, screaming, while he toyed around with her. Finally, he could bear the scent no longer and would bring his lips to her neck and....

Not wanting to be caught unaware, I focused on James's whereabouts and Bella's current progress at the same time. I slipped the key into the ignition.

"...I thought you liked him!" Charlie protested.

"I do like him!" Bella whimpered, and I could tell from her voice that the tears were streaming again. I swallowed uneasily and tried not to think of that. "That's the problem! I can't do this anymore...I can't put down any more roots here...I don't want to end up trapped in this stupid, boring town like Mom!" Her voice, though teary, was still sharp, like cutting blades. "I hate it! I can't stay here for another minute!"

No words could describe Charlie's thoughts.

I have never understood that specific feeling, and I never will. It was a feeling that a parent would have for his or her child, when something happens. A mixture of horror...shock...grief...anger.... I flinched, too, just knowing Charlie's thoughts.

Apparently, Bella had gotten her point across, for she stalked off and away again.

"Bells...you can't leave now. It's nighttime," Charlie pleaded futilely. _|My daughter...oh, please, will you stay with me? I can't...no...you can't go off now....|_

"I'll sleep in the truck if I get tired," she snapped.

I could almost hear another slice of Charlie's heart breaking off.

"Just wait another week. Renee will be back by then."

"What?!"

Renee wasn't home? Not even Alice saw that. No worries there, though, I guess we were more than capable of affording some suites for a couple weeks.

_|That may buy me some time, I guess.|_ "She called while you were out," Charlie explained. "Things aren't going so well in Florida, and if Phil doesn't get signed by the end of the week, they're going back to Arizona. The assistant coach of the Sidewinders said they might have spot for another shortstop."

I grimaced. Which path would my fair, sweet Bella choose when held at a time like this? I would never begrudge her at all if she chose to listen to Charlie. If she did, I would have no other choice but to fight James here. It may expose us, and it may be brutal, but it would be worth it.

"I have a key," Bella snapped. Strangely, I felt relieved at her harsh words, directed toward Charlie.

There were some scuffling sounds, and then Bella's voice, harsh, cold, and icy - a voice so unlike her - cut through the air.

"Just let me go, Charlie!"

Pure shock flooded Charlie's head. I could see a depiction of his wife leaving him soon after Bella's birth. I couldn't help but to let my focus linger a bit on baby Bella, who was held in her mother's arms.

"It didn't work out, okay? I really, really hate Forks!" She spat out the last word like an expletive.

Charlie was stunned. _|Please, no, not like Renee, please!|_

I heard Bella kick the door open and flee to the truck. I waited for her

_|Ah! So she says she's going to Phoenix!| _James was smirking confidently. _|I guess we can rule out any place in the Southwest. That little brat in their family probably tipped her off and warned her.|_ I forced myself not to make any sound when I heard myself being described as 'brat'.

Bella threw her duffel bag in the back.

"I'll call you tomorrow!" she yelled over to Charlie, whose mind was a wreck of emotional despair.

Of course, that was yet another promise that would remain unkept.

Flustered, she threw open the truck door, hopped in, and slammed the door shut.

The wave of her scent meant nearly nothing to me now. I could not afford to do anything to make my mind distracted. My fingers curled around hers as she backed out and drove away. I turned my head around quickly once more to look at Charlie.

I could see a tear slowly slipping down the Chief's aged cheek before he closed the door gently.

Not wanting Bella to miss the turn to our home when we got there, I turned to her. "Pull over," I suggested.

Tears streamed down her face, and she blinked. She was in no condition whatsoever to drive, but she was tenacious, as always. "I can drive!" she insisted.

I saw no easy way to do this, so once we were on a wider, emptier stretch of road, I slid myself over to the driver's seat. My foot found the gas pedal, and I pulled Bella across me and to the passenger side. She gasped, not expecting that move.

"You wouldn't be able to find the house," I reasoned, my fingers curling securely around the wheel.

_|Keep her calm,|_ Alice advised. _|I'm coming.|_

Bella gasped and twisted herself around when the headlights shone into the back window of the truck cab.

"It's just Alice," I soothed her. I picked up her hand by her wrist, ever so gently, and rubbed it.

_|Die, tracker, die!|_ Emmett thought with loathing, still a little way away from us.

James had already started to run after us. I slammed down harder on the gas pedal, knowing that Emmett would have to act very soon to get him off our backs.

_|They've left. That youngster should be no problem to take care of. The girl there looks...incredibly...familiar, though. I wonder why I didn't recognize her back in the field.|_ I suddenly saw Alice as a human, wearing a white gown, her eyes blank. Then, James smelling her...and finding that she was immortal. And killing another vampire.

That was Mary Alice Brandon.

I stiffened at this new information, the first clue we'd ever received to uncovering Alice's past.

Misreading my stiffness, Bella nearly choked. "The tracker?"

"He heard the end of your performance."

"Charlie?" she squeaked.

"The tracker followed us," I said. I was confused as to whether that should be reassuring or not. I, for one, did not think that it was good to have the tracker coming after Bella and I, thirsting for her blood, but the one I loved obviously thought otherwise. "He's running behind us now."

"Can we outrun him?"

"No," I replied, almost harshly. My foot slammed back down onto the gas pedal.

_|Perfect timing.|_ Emmett congratulated himself as he leapt at the tracker. James, surprised, put up a weaker fight than he might have otherwise. However, even though the two were locked in each others' death grips, they still managed to keep pace with the truck.

Emmett's patience finally ran out - not really an uncommon occurrence, that - and he leapt up and away from the tracker.

Bella, who just happened to be looking back at the moment, let out a scream. I nearly started to panic and slammed my hand over her mouth. I realized, too late, that I hadn't tried to be careful. Thankfully, I found no blood.

"It's Emmett," I reassured her.

After a few seconds, I moved my arm down to her waist, and pulled her tight against me.

"It's okay, Bella," I murmured in hushed tones. "You're going to be safe." I literally kicked myself for lying to her again.

The engine started to wheeze.

_|No, Edward! Don't go too fast! That's not good for the truck.|_ I had to listen to Emmett on this one because Rosalie was the mechanic in the family, but Emmett was a close second.

When we hit the highway, at long last, I felt the need to talk to Bella. Just to hear her voice, before we were split up.

"I didn't realize you were still so bored with small-town life," I commented. Of course, I was just alluding to one of the excuses she used to get away from Charlie, but now I was truly curious as to why she used that. "It seemed like you were adjusting fairly well, expecially recently. Maybe...." I paused for a split second, not sure if I could make this confession honestly. "I was just flattering myself that I was making life more interesting for you."

"I...wasn't being nice," Bella whispered, her face downcast at what she'd done. I didn't want my angel to feel guilty of anything that she'd said, but I listened. "That was the same thing my mom said when she left him. You...could say I was hitting below the belt." Her voice didn't tremble, at least. She was feeling calmer now, I could tell.

Charlie was so emotionally broken that I felt pain at taking his daughter away. I knew it was all my wrongdoing - if I'd never stepped into my Bella's life, this would never have happened. "Don't worry, he'll forgive you," I promised her. I tried to smile, but it felt out of place.

Her head suddenly whipped around, and her face was facing mine. In her eyes, I could see what was disguised before.

Fear. Panic. Confusion. Terror.

My heart had been chopped into mincemeat. How could I have ever thought for a moment that she was calming down? She was brave, and hid her emotions for me.

"Bella," I said, my face drawing near her neck. "It's going to be all right." I took a deep breath. I needed all of Bella's scent that I could get, I needed to hear every heartbeat I could, to prepare me for our long period of separation.

"But...." She struggled for words. "It won't be all right when I'm not with you," she whispered, pain leaking through.

I tried to be cheerful. "We'll be together again in a few days," I promised, my voice forcibly light. "Don't forget that this was your idea."

"It was the _|best| _idea," she agreed. "Of _|course|_ it's mine."

I smiled halfheartedly.

"Why did this happen?" she suddenly choked out. "Why me?"

She was blaming herself again, I could tell. "It's my fault." I wasn't even bothering to hide my self-disgust. I hated being what I was. I brought James upon her, and that, in itself, was absolutely unforgivable. "I was a fool to expose you like that."

"That's not what I meant," she disagreed. "I was there. Big deal. It didn't bother the other two. Why did this James decide to kill me? There are people all over the place. Why me?"

I was in no mood to tease her with the 'danger magnet' jibe again. Her question perplexed me, too, though I did have some more insight into James's mind. Emmett and the tracker were too far away for them to hear us, and so I wouldn't be able to pick up James's reasons in his mind.

"I got a good look at his mind tonight," I told her. "I'm not sure if there's anything I could have done to avoid this, once he saw you." I knew that I could have avoided this, though.

I should have just stayed away from Bella.

"It is partially your fault," I joked absently, expecting no laughter and receiving none. "If you didn't smell so...|_appallingly| _luscious, he might not have bothered."

Pausing, I took another breath, taking in her appallingly luscious scent.

"But when I defended you, well, that made it a lot worse.

"He's not used to being thwarted, no matter how insignificant the object. He thinks of himself as a hunter and nothing else. His existence is consumed with tracing, and a challenge is all he asks of life. Suddenly we've presented him with a beautiful challenge - a large clan of strong fighters all bent on protecting the one vulnerable element."

I gauged her expression, which was carefully blank. It was mind-exhausting, but I still tried - foolishly - to find out anything in her mind.

"You wouldn't believe how euphoric he is now," I muttered. "It's his favorite game, and we've just made it his most exciting game ever."

I pondered the two things I could have done during the time.

I could have either defended my Bella and egged him on, which was what I did, or I could've stood by and done nothing, which was utterly, horrifically unthinkable. I would rather drink my own blood - if I had any - than to let Bella fall to that...that _|thing| _without a fight.

"But if I had stood by, he would have killed you right then." I finally finished my monologue, but I was still left hanging. My thoughts were racing faster than I could run.

"I thought I didn't smell the same to the others as I do to you," she pondered, speaking slowly.

"You don't," I clarified. But that doesn't mean that you aren't still a temptation to every one of them. If you had appealed to the tracker or any of them the same way you appeal to me, it would have meant a fight right there. My fingers were marginally increasing the density of the steering wheel. I could feel the small hollows where my fingertips had been.

Bella shivered.

"I don't think I have any choice but to kill him now. Carlisle won't like it."

Thirteen seconds passed in silence.

"How can you...." Bella hesitated. "Kill a vampire?"

My stomach was in knots; I knew that this was a talk we'd get to sooner or later, but I was still caught off guard.

It would be best just to get this over with. "The only way to be sure is to tear him to shreds, and then burn the pieces," I said abruptly.

"And...the other two will fight with him?"

My foot eased up on the gas pedal as we turned into the narrow path leading to the house. "The woman will," I asserted with confidence. "I'm...not sure about Laurent. They don't have a strong bond. He's only with them for convenience. He was embarrassed by James in the meadow.

"But James...and the woman, they'll try to kill you?" she interrupted, her voice fearful.

I could have smacked my very own forehead. She was doing it again being the selfless angel that she was. It was a wonder to me how she didn't know that the only thing worth worrying about - for her, anyway - was herself.

"Bella," I started, my voice stern. "Don't you |_dare|_ waste time worrying about me. Your only concern is keeping yourself safe." I spoke in a hard voice, letting her know in no uncertain terms that she was the priority here. "And please, please, trying not to be reckless," I added.

"Is he still following?" Bella asked with a malignant, lingering trace of fear.

My thoughts tuned back into Emmett and James. They'd broken up their struggle, but James knew that we were close to the house now, and wouldn't try attacking when there were so many of us protecting Bella.

"Yes," I answered, somewhat reluctantly. He won't attack the house, though, not tonight." I slowed the truck down as we rounded the last sharp

_|Coming, Edward.|_ Emmett was catching up, and his thoughts were clearer and clearer._ |I left the piece of shit back there, and I don't think he'll make a move in the next few hours. That gives us enough time to prepare and leave.|_

Emmett was jogging behind us by the time I rounded the last bend. Before I stomped on the brakes when we arrived at the garage, Emmett had already picked Bella up and was carrying her inside.

The look in his eyes and the tenor of his thoughts were like nothing I'd seen before in him. There was fierceness, of course, want to destroy James, but there was also...what? It seemed akin to gentleness, or tenderness. I pieced his emotions together and knew that Emmett loved Bella. Not in the way that he loved Rosalie, but he loved her like a little sister that he'd give up the world for.

In that instant, I forgave him for anything he'd said that antagonized me, concerning Bella.

Alice came up behind me as I leapt out of the truck, nearly forgotten.

_|As...ahem...fascinating as I found your little conversation, I don't think it'll help Bella much,|_ she put in dryly as we sped into the house.

I had to admit how right she was. The perfect formula to calm a human down was most definitely not 'tell the human about how to kill a vampire and why the vampire wants to drink your blood'.

"You're right," I confessed in remorse.

As we followed Emmett and Bella into the garage, I was aware of Laurent, conversing with the rest of the family.

Fury swept through me. I knew that Laurent was the more...how should this be worded? Benign - not at all. I suppose he was the less vicious one in the coven.

"He's tracking us," I informed him through clenched teeth, my eyes shooting daggers at him. He gazed back with apology.

_|There James goes again. When will he ever realize that this obsession of his isn't amusing anymore?|_

I nearly snorted aloud. Amusing ?hardly.

"I was afraid of that," Laurent muttered.

Alice flitted over to Jasper. "I think that I'm going to need a few minutes of unbroken silence ?I need to check for any loopholes, or traps in the plan. They've made up their mind."

"But what ?"

Alice dragged Jasper up the stairs.

_|Great. Now I get beat up by Alice? Some soldier you are, Jasper. You bring shame to the Confederate name!|_ I grimaced - this was no time to reminisce on old times.

_|Damn you, Edward. Why couldn't you have just chosen Tanya and spared us all...this?|_ Rosalie glared at me, and I glared back. We were engaged in a lethal battle of stares.

_|You know, I still stick with my theory,|_ she informed me as she moved over to stand by Emmett. Her eyes darted quickly to my Bella, still shaking. I had half a mind to run to her side, and to pick her up and soothe her.

_|You should have just dried her out when you laid eyes on her!|_ she finished.

My teeth came together with a snapping sound. Everyone looked at me with surprise, sans Bella.

Carlisle's attention turned back to Laurent._ |Why must that man stand there with his feet rooted to the ground?| _"What will he do?" His voice was icy. _|Can't he see he's not wanted here?|_

_|Oh, God...this may take a while.|_ Laurent grimaced before starting. "I'm sorry," he apologized for James. "I was afraid when your boy defended her, that it would set him off."

|_Thanks for the reassurance.|_ "Can you stop him?"

"Nothing stops James when he gets started."

In Laurent's mind, I saw James's obsessions with his human victims, one after another. I saw the human Mary Alice Brandon, after her transformation. How James had roared in fury and destroyed the older vampire right then and there. And there was another girl, who appeared to be thirteen or fourteen, screaming as he approached her. Laurent had tried himself to stop her, and James turned to him viciously and ripped him to pieces, too. Laurent's face contorted slightly as he remembered the pain, and the length of time it took for him to reassemble himself again.

He was right. There was no stopping this wretched tracker.

_|Bullshit! Let me get my hands on that filthy scum again, and I'll see what kind of torture I can inflict.|_ "We'll stop him," Emmett vowed, his voice laced with deadliness.

_|Not unless you want to burn.|_ "You can't bring him down; I've never seen anything like him in my three hundred years. He's absolutely lethal. That's why I joined his coven."

Surprise filled everyone's minds when they heard that _|James|_ was the leader of their coven.

Laurent looked from me, to Bella, and back again, shaking his head slowly. _|A human girl; what is she to them? What motive do they have to keep her alive?|_ "Are you sure it's...worth it?" he asked hesitantly.

That was the last straw for me. I couldn't keep in the roar that erupted from deep inside me. How dare this...Laurent suggest that Bella was disposable...just like that?

|_I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that...great, Laurent, now you realize it. Great timing.|_

Carlisle had no more time for deliberations or small talk. "I'm afraid you're going to have to make a choice." There was no mistaking what he meant.

Laurent's eyes searched the faces of everyone in the room. I heard their minds go blank with their faces. Everyone's faces were void of emotion, save Bella, who was fearful, and I, whose face was still contorted in fury.

_|I cannot fight with James,|_ he deliberated. _|Or Victoria. But how can I fight with them? I don't think I'll lay a finger on that girl...besides, I don't think James nor Victoria need anyone to keep an eye on them. This new lifestyle sounds interesting, though I don't think they would enjoy my company. Did they not say somewhere in Alaska? Perhaps I shall join them.|_

"I'm intrigued by the live you've created here, but I won't get caught in the middle of this," he stated, his voice final. "I bear none of you any enmity," he added hastily. "But I won't go up against James. I think I will head north to that clan in Denali."

_|They probably deserve some help; a tip, maybe. I actually do hope that James gets a load of that big guy right there; it'll do his ego some good to lose once in a while.|_ "Don't underestimate James," he warned us. "He's got a brilliant mind and unparalleled senses. He's every bit as comfortable in the human world as you seem to be, and he won't come at you head on." _|He's an idiot, though ?a bully, no brains...but Victoria's the real threat here ?but he usually gets his way.| _

"I'm sorry for what's been unleashed here," he apologized again. "Truly sorry." _|But why did they have to egg James on? That young one over there...James is probably infuriated right now.|_

"Go in peace," Carlisle answered, his voice sounding calm.

_|The preacher's kid...ahh, I knew that Carlisle's father would show through!|_ Emmett still seemed callously unconcerned, sure that he could rip James apart instantly.

James. My mind switched over to his. He was conversing with Victoria. Even though they weren't next to each other, they could still hear each other, thanks to the amazing hearing skills we possess.

_ |That Laurent! The traitor - I should never have allowed him entrance into our coven! Never!|_

It was beyond annoying to have to follow the conversation through their minds, but it worked.

_|"They'll try to trick you, James,"|_ Victoria was certain of that.

_|"But you know that the human never leaves the young one's side. She'll be wherever he is."|_

_|"He's going to try and lead you to the airport or somewhere,"|_ Victoria continued. _|"It's a route of escape for the girl."|_

"How close?" Carlisle asked me, while Esme immediately set off the security system which pulled metal shutters down over the larger windows. Bella eyed the glass wall of our home in amazement.

_|We have to make sure they can see us go!|_

"About...." Their eyes flicker around their surroundings, allowing me access to what they saw. "Three miles out past the river. He's circling around to meet up with the female."

"What's the plan?" Carlisle continued firing off.

"We'll lead him off." I spoke quickly, not wanting them to pick up on our plans. "And then...Jasper and Alice will run her south."

|_Okay, got it, bro,|_ they both thought at the same time from upstairs. It would've been comical under any other circumstances.

Alice was seeing nothing important.

"And then?" Carlisle continued.

My voice was trembling with rage. "As soon as Bella is clear, we hunt him," I said with finality.

Carlisle sighed; he hated inflicting any pain, but I knew that he would do so in this particular case. "I guess there's no other choice," he muttered in defeat.

I turned to Rosalie and sized her up; she was taller than Bella, but not by too much; Alice was way too small. If Bella and Rosalie traded clothing, and the tracker caught Rosalie's scent first and followed her, that would buy Alice and Jasper some time.

"Get her upstairs," I ordered her. "And trade clothes."

_|You idiot, why would I do that for the freaking human? You know that you can never be with her. I'm not lifting a finger to help her. And don't think that I'll listen to you, either.|_ "Why should I?" she asked rhetorically, her stare insolent. "What is _|she| _to _|me|,_ except a menace, a danger you've chosen to inflict on all of us."

If looks could kill, I would be human, run over by an eighteen-wheeler and put through a paper shredder. Bella winced, too, and I felt a surge of fury.

"Rose," Emmett whispered in her ear. Rosalie backed away from him and yanked away the hand he rested on her shoulder. Emmett's face was pained when he sighed in defeat.

I struggled to control myself; now was most definitely not the time for a temper outburst. "Esme?" I asked my mother.

_|My clothes may be a little...big, but I'll see what I can do.|_ "Of course," Esme murmured._ |I'll do anything for her, son. She is already one of my children.|_

My heart warmed a little at Esme's thoughts.

I turned back to the others when Esme rushed Bella upstairs. A moment later, Alice and Jasper came back down.

"I saw nothing," Alice announced, her voice uncharacteristically dark. Jasper wound his arms around her. Alice, looking small and frail - and terribly vulnerable - leaned into his arms.

_|It was your idea, son,|_ Carlisle told me. _|Take control.|_

"Alice, Jasper, you're going to Phoenix with Bella, correct?" They both nodded.

"I think it's best if Esme and Rosalie go in Bella's truck. That way, they may lure Victoria away, too," I continued, feeling slightly uneasy at ordering everyone around.

Rosalie glared at me. _|Don't expect me to follow your orders!|_

"Rose," Emmett whispered, rubbing her back gently. "Listen to him. This is practically our sister we're talking about here. Please be reasonable."

She glared - glared! - at Emmett and backed away. Emmett recoiled as if she'd slapped him.

"Carlisle, Emmett, and I will try to lure this James away. When he's out of Bella's proximity, we...."

They all nodded; there was no need to finish the sentence. They knew what I meant.

Jasper and Alice hurried upstairs to pack the necessities: legal documents, clothing, credit cards, checks....

Emmett busied himself doing the same, too. Rosalie was frozen in the spot, glaring at me. _|Next time, think before you bring another addition to the family, Edward. A human one, at that!|_

Used to her insults now, I stayed where I was. I was actually quite proud of myself for not ripping her apart yet.

Emmett came back, carrying an old backpack we used for 'camping'. He'd packed Rosalie's things, too. He bent down to try and break her out of her glaring trance, and was fruitless.

"I'd better pack too," I murmured, and ran upstairs. I grabbed only the most-needed items and threw them into a small backpack.

There was nothing more for us to do than wait, once we were back downstairs. Thankfully, Esme came down soon with Bella, who looked odd, but still cute, in Esme's larger clothes.

Carlisle picked up the cell phones and handed them to Esme and Alice. We rarely used them - I carried mine with me in case Bella ever needed to call me, though - as we almost never had emergencies, but now was the time they came in handy.

"Esme and...Rosalie will be taking your truck, Bella," Carlisle informed her, glancing warily at Rosalie_. |Hope she doesn't get too bad-tempered....|_

Bella nodded, biting her plump, luscious lip. I inhaled, trying to get as much of her scent as possible, knowing that tonight could be the last time I ever - no! I couldn't think that! I shook my head ever so slightly. I would make her safe again if it were the last thing I did.

"Alice, Jasper," Carlisle continued. "Take the Mercedes." I silently thanked him for assigning the cars, since it was supposed to be my job - I was too distracted. I only had eyes for Bella at the moment. She looked back at me for a second, and her heartbeat increased. I looked away, feeling immense, tremendous guilt for endangering her life to that extent.

"You'll need the dark tint in the south. We're taking the Jeep."

_|Yay! I like my Jeep!|_ I nearly snorted in disgust. How could Emmett think about his Jeep when Bella's life was in terrible jeopardy?

_|Whoops,|_ he told me as an afterthought. _|Sorry, wasn't thinking. That was my reflex reaction, sort of....|_

There was silence for a split second, and then Carlisle spoke. "Alice, will they take the bait?" he asked, almost nervously_. |Oh, God, please don't let this be all in vain.|_

Alice's mind flitted past all the unnecessary glimpses of the future until she came to rest on one. James was following us, in the Jeep, assuming that Bella was with me, and Victoria followed Rosalie and Esme, just to make sure that it wasn't a trick. "He'll track you," she murmured aloud. "The woman...will follow the truck. We should be able to leave after that." _|Edward, please, when it's safe to leave, call me!| _

I nodded slightly in her direction.

_|We're all set.|_ "Let's go," Carlisle said.

Bella was still looking at me, and I couldn't bear this tension anymore. I dashed over to her, and pulled her up against me. Her scent threatened to overwhelm all my senses, and I couldn't feel anything that was not Bella. Bella was my world, and my world was Bella. I picked her up and brought my lips to hers. For the last time, perhaps, I was granted the pleasure of feeling her soft, warm lips dancing against mine.

_|Edward, I know you love her, but it's time to go. They're waiting outside.|_ Alice was getting edgy.

With the softest sigh, I reluctantly broke the kiss.

Bella looked almost dazed, but her eyes held an expression I'd never forget. Her breath was ragged, and her heart pounded frantically, sending her scent into my direction quickly, in small waves. I inhaled once more and relished the pain her scent inflicted upon me, and the pleasure that was granted to the internal masochist within me.

As soon as my body stopped touching hers, it was as if my world had plummeted down. From now until James was dealt with, nothing could be certain. I tried to conceal my pain from separation, but knew I failed miserably.

_|Let's go, son.|_ Carlisle grabbed my backpack for me. I nodded my head in gratitude.

I did not look back once as we left.

Emmett was uncharacteristically composed as we jumped into his Jeep. He sat in the passenger seat, while Carlisle was at the wheel.

"Emmett, can you call Alice? She asked me to call her when it was nearly time." I didn't need to elaborate; he knew what I meant.

_|Will do.|_ The conversation was over in two and four-fifths of a second.

"Is she there?" Carlisle asked in a low voice. There was no mistaking whom he meant.

Sure enough, her thoughts were there, along with James's.

While I was concentrating, Esme and Rosalie came and went away in Bella's truck.

_|The sick human bitch. Look how much trouble you caused us, Edward. Just look.|_

Those were the last words I heard from Rosalie before she and Esme were out of hearing range.

However, her thoughts hit a deep blow inside me. I doubled over, all thoughts of the tracker forgotten.

"Was it...." Emmett stopped, but I knew what he meant. _|Was it Rosalie?|_

I barely managed to nod, and he bowed his head.

_|I'm so sorry, Edward. I don't know what she has against Bella.|_

_|Just ignore her,|_ Carlisle advised.

Throughout all this, Victoria's thoughts reached me. _|I wonder what he's doing...the kid, crouched over...the girl might be with him; I can hear her and smell her, and she hasn't left yet, so she must be with them.|_

"Victoria's there," I whispered, too low for the latter to hear.

"All right," Carlisle said, backing out of the driveway. "Let us go."

As the Jeep hit the road, Victoria followed us swiftly and silently, no more than a shadow - with bright red hair.

The only thing I was capable of being aware of was the sound of Bella's heart, fading slowly away, with every mile we were separated, until it was there no more.

**AN: *bursts into tears* so sorry! I know I haven't updated for...maybe...two weeks? I don't know. Sorry about the delay, hope you liked that drama-filled chapter. And also sorry there may be some mistakes and there will be ||s on all the italics and there might be random ?s (the formatting got weird and messed). Review please! Remember: God is watching! He knows if you're reviewing or not!!! **

**Seriously, please review.**


	9. AN, Sorry Everyone! Not a chapter

**AN: Really sorry guys!!! This isn't a chapter.**

**Okay, so the laptop broke down, and that's where I do my typing. And since I don't own a copy of Twilight I had to type it all down on Word. And now, Word on the laptop is disabled. So I have to open it with Text Document. And it messes EVERYTHING up!!! It's really hard to decipher and everything. I'm not going to stop updating (of course!!! Wouldn't DREAM of doing THAT).**

**However, it's just going to take a while longer. Perhaps 2-3 weeks per chapter. I'm sorry guys!!! Seriously!!! **

**Okay…don't blame me, blame the stupid laptop. And also every OTHER Microsoft function is disabled so…can't type a super-long thing on PowerPoint and transfer it to Word. **

**I promise, an update within 2 weeks. **

**~*Twilight Awesomeness*~**


	10. Impatience

20. Impatience

**AN: Yay! Another chapter!!! Sorry it took so long but computer problems and all...you know.**

**Peace, Love, and ENJOY.**

**P.S. It's not that enjoyable.**

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"No...." I moaned as I thrashed about in the back of the Jeep.

_Edward, please get a grip of yourself. I can't bear to see you like this - I can't_. Emmett was back in big-brother mode now.

I'd never felt so much pain. Truth be told, I'd rather go through my transformation a hundred times over than to live through this for another minute.

Bella. Her face flashed over and over, like a siren call, through my mind. I clutched my head and groaned again. In my mind, I could see her beautiful, dark, round eyes blinking back at me.

The eyes of an angel.

_Tell me, son, what can we do to take away the pain? _Carlisle was starting to worry.

"Take me to Bella," I pleaded. "I must see her!"

"Son, you know that this is for her."

I sighed; I knew I was being a childish fool, acting as if I were being tortured. "I know, Carlisle. I apologize for my behavior."

Emmett snorted. "Hey, Edward, it's all right. I know if it were Rose, I would be going insane."

"You're plenty insane enough already," I mumbled under my breath.

The highway was deserted at this hour. We drove past rows of houses, with the few awake thinking foolish, petty thoughts.

_I wish he'd hurry up and kiss me already! It's midnight, the date was amazing, what more?_

_Stupid laptop! Why did it shut down all the browser windows?_

_Why did we have to stay at the club until this hour? Seriously, the apple martinis were great, but this is way too late. And tomorrow's my job interview! I'm going to look all crappy and hung-over! _

I blocked out the human thoughts and glanced up despairingly, wanting nothing more than to hear her voice.

The night was a perfect shade of dark blue. I might've been able to appreciate it if _she_ was with me.

The stars, off in their own oblivion, twinkled down at me with their bright, silvery sparkles. My eyes darted toward a small cloud, edging toward a cluster of stars until they were all covered.

That was my life, I concluded miserably. Every perfect trait of Bella's was a single star, and they were endless. Her beautiful, selfless soul, her bright, shiny, marvelous hair, those deep eyes - even omitting the physical traits, there must've been a million things I could find about her amazing inner self.

A cloud came and blocked out our happiness. It was all my fault, though everyone said otherwise. My fault, all mine, all mine. I closed my eyes and bit down on my lip, hard, to keep in the pain. I was the wind that blew the cloud over the stars - it was all my fault.

"Edward, James is still following, correct?" Carlisle broke the silence, probably sensing that I needed something to think about.

"Yes," I replied tonelessly, not wanting to return to his thoughts, but knowing that they were there. Besides, when he realized something, I would know for sure - his thought would automatically jump into my mind.

The next two minutes were silent. Carlisle and Emmett were thinking about nothing in particular. I could always see a dark shadow, out of my periphery, flitting through the forest bounding the interstate.

_It was a trick!_

"He found out!" I warned Carlisle, as soon as I heard his thoughts. Carlisle slowed the car down to a stop.

_They will pay! James was now furious._

"Find the nearest exit, turn off, and turn back on, but going opposite!" Emmett said quickly.

Carlisle nodded and did as Emmett said; however, James was planning his move, seeing as there were no travelers about for miles.

"Carlisle! Emmett! James wants to attack. He's targeting the car. We have to stop and get out - or the tracker will have the advantage, because we'll be in a smaller space!"

The car screeched to a sudden, jolting stop, and the three of us jumped out immediately.

_Now!_ There were only mere seconds left before James would attack.

"Oh, he'll be no problem. I've been dying to get my hands on the bastard!" Emmett snickered, rolling his sleeves up.

That set the tracker off, and with a roar, James decided to make his presence known to us by hurling himself out of the trees, right at Emmett.

Emmett immediately rolled over so he could get in several good punches at James.

"Bastard!" James mumbled, his face in the dirt, before kicking Emmett hard in the face. Dazed, Emmett staggered off, only to be jumped on by James, who was roaring with fury. "This is payback for your trickery! Next time, don't think it'll be so easy to fool me!"

My hands were clenched into fists, at my sides. "Are you sure there will be a next time?" I asked James, keeping my voice steady, and calmer than I thought I was.

James was going on almost all instinct. I barely had any time at all to sidestep him when he flung himself straight at me.

We were engaged in a battle of fury. His fury for Bella's disappearance, and mine for him tracking my Bella, fueled the fight. Loud cracks shook the road - thank goodness this was a rarely traveled, deserted interstate.

I was strong, but James forced me on my back before punching me - extremely hard - up into my jaw. I groaned in pain, but managed to retaliate by grabbing a fistful of James's hair, pulling his head sideways, and giving him a good hard hit in the neck. A strangled cry escaped his lips as he was knocked on his back.

Powered by full-fledged rage now, I jumped onto his knocked-over form, grabbed his head, and yanked up. He cried out in pain again. I deliberately used that to incapacitate him, for I had heard that it was extremely painful. I held his head steady as I punched him over and over.

This was for Bella. Every punch, I was glad, in a grim way. With every punch, I was purchasing a few more precious seconds for my Bella. Every hit was for her. Likewise, every blow I'd received was for her, too. I'd much rather have James rip me apart than for him to go within a fifty-foot radius of Bella.

Finally, the tracker's form was still. I was perplexed; I hadn't killed him, naturally - so what was going on? I slowly backed away.

I tried to look inside his mind, but it was carefully blank. Dang, he was good.

Emmett stepped forward. _Wonder what he's doing...playing dead? Does he really expect that to work?_

James's closed eyes suddenly snapped open, and leapt onto Emmett, who had no time to react. The bloodthirsty vampire's eyes were crazed and murderous as he slowly exposed Emmett's neck. Every time Emmett tried to get up, James dug his heel harder into Emmett's groin. I found that a very low move, one that a vampire used only as a last resort, but apparently James found that all right.

The tracker was now smiling dangerously, triumphant. "Let this be a lesson," he said in a soft, deadly tone. He roughly yanked Emmett's shirt down so his shoulder was exposed, and bit into the hard flesh there without hesitation.

I winced as I felt the pain through Emmett's thoughts. The latter roared in agony as he writhed in obvious pain.

Carlisle, ever the non-violent figure, hadn't raised a finger throughout all this. He dashed forward to Emmett and carried him to the Jeep, where he laid Emmett down.

I turned to challenge James, but he'd already gone.

He was extremely fast, and I heard his last taunting thoughts. _Don't even bother to come protect your precious little angel. She is mine now, young one. And who knows...I may have her in more ways than one - who knows how long my control can last? Count on it. I know where she is - Phoenix. You were clever, indeed, but it's too late now._

"No...no!" I shook my head stupidly, as if I could force that back. "No! Don't!"

"Get in the Jeep, son," Carlisle ordered, already at the wheel.

I climbed back in the back with Emmett. Even as a vampire, being bitten by another one of us hurt like hell.

Emmett was still wincing from the pain, and he rubbed the bite gently with his hand. I could see the fresh teeth marks.

"Are you all right, Em?" I asked.

"Yeah, bro. Ouch, that one can bite," he mumbled.

Carlisle hit the gas again. "He knows where Bella is." It wasn't a question.

"He's going to Phoenix...or so he says," I murmured. I was sick with worry now.

"We'll try to follow his scent," Carlisle suggested. "I think he'll stick to the running in the woods near the highways, since he didn't appear to have a map or anything."

There were no turnoffs for miles, and we could smell that vile tracker's stink in the woods, so we were safe.

I gazed up and found the same patch of stars, still obscured by the cloud. I was nearly hopeless now - perhaps this was a sign, telling me to end it with Bella. Maybe we weren't meant to be together after all. Maybe I thought I loved her only because she was a human, my blood 'singer', who also had a very beautiful soul. Maybe she was just attractive.

How could anyone love me, the monster? I was a monster, and there was no denying that; I desired the blood of humans, I could snap a person's neck with a twist of my fingers, I had an uncontrollable temper...I was the ultimate monster, and Bella shouldn't be loving me.

I knew that she loved me, and I knew that it was most likely in vain. I was placing her in dire situations because of my own _greed_. I was too greedy to deprive myself of her love, her fondness, and I was too weak to leave her. I was utterly undeserving of her love.

I guess they were right - Tanya was probably the one for me. Maybe I was just too stupid to realize it.

Going through that train of thought, the patch of cloud slowly blew away, leaving the stars twinkling brightly once more.

Maybe that was telling me to have hope.

*

"Vancouver?!" I exclaimed, as we followed the scent.

"That's where he appears to have gone," Carlisle said quietly. _Why Vancouver...?_

"It might be a trick," Emmett said. "What, though, I have no idea."

Carlisle stepped on the gas even harder. There were more houses about now, although it was still plenty early. I was terribly impatient, fidgeting like a human as we followed his scent, harder to find now, when it was mingled with other scents.

"The sky's cloudy," Emmett remarked. "Apparently the sky's only clear for the night owls."

"It's leading to the airport," I worried, ignoring Emmett's musing. (AN: I don't know if there's an airport in Vancouver, but oh well.)

"Why would he need an airport?" Emmett asked.

"Perhaps to fly to Phoenix, though he could just fly," Carlisle said.

"We must stop him before he boards, if he hasn't already!" I declared.

The three of us stayed quiet as Carlisle pulled us into the airport. People stared as we drove the humongous Jeep into the parking building, but we hurried on our way.

"Dammit...his scent is weak now," Emmett growled.

I, however, could still smell the stink. I blocked out every person's thoughts - a great feat, considering there were perhaps six hundred people in this large room.

"Chu kou zai na li?" (where is the exit?) an old Chinese lady asked us.

I, being the only one in our company who knew any Chinese at all, spit out a hurried "Wo bu zhi dao" (I don't know). Another lie, of course, but I couldn't spend precious time helping others when Bella was still in grave mortal danger.

Many other humans, witnessing my display of multilingual knowledge, swarmed me, asking me for directions in Spanish, French, Portuguese, German, Finnish, and Vietnamese. I pushed past all those people, and continued to follow the scent, trying not to look like a dog.

I concentrated on the scent, only to be dismayed as it led to another entrance/exit.

"He went back outside," I mumbled to Carlisle and Emmett.

"Damn it!" Emmett yelled, turning many heads, pointing to the droplets of water pelting down against the glass.

My eyes widened in horror. "No," I whispered. "No, this can't be happening. We can't be losing his trail!"

We looked outside, our dismay reflected in each others' eyes. We knew that once there was precipitation, the scent would fade away.

This was our only lead.

We had come to a dead end.

**

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**

AN: Sorry about that; it was super short! Like it though? I had to sort of improvise about the airport in Vancouver, though. Next chapter is still mostly just them.

**If you're nice, review.**

**If you liked this, review.**

**If you loved this, review.**

**If you didn't like or love this, review anyway.**

**If you are reading this, review!!! Thanks!!!**


	11. Phone Call

**21. Phone Call**

**AN: So incredibly sorry for the long wait. I mean, first I had a piano competition, and then I had various...things going on, and then track practice...= (**

**Anyway, enjoy...(makes this sound like a fancy dish in some restaurant...).**

* * *

I started shaking with internal rage.

The vile culprit had escaped from our fingers - and we were to blame for our lack of concentration.

If only we had finished him during our last confrontation.

_Edward...calm down. People are looking,_ Emmett warned me.

_How can I,_ I wanted to scream_, if he's gone_? James could be following Bella's delectable scent to their hotel room in Phoenix this moment!

Carlisle laid a hand on my arm patronizingly. _Let us go back to the car and...think this through some more. All right, son?_

I didn't respond, but Emmett and Carlisle were able to pull me with them.

With every stride my legs took, my insides twisted an inch more and burned a degree hotter. I was beyond the point of speech at this time, and I was mute when I sat in the back of the Jeep.

_Don't destroy the car, Emmett warned._

Carlisle pulled out of the parking space, and drove out of the busy airport. We were back on one of the local roads, halted by a red light, when Emmett stiffened.

"Rosalie!" he gasped in shock.

I instantly snapped my head up and sniffed the air. Rose-scented perfume with just a hint of arrogance, pig-headedness, and insanity - yes, that was Rosalie.

"And Esme," Carlisle added, his eyes light with anticipation. The light changed to green and he slammed on the gas pedal, propelling the car forward. "I wonder what brings them here? Were they not following the female, Victoria?"

I gasped rather loudly as I put two and two together. If Esme and Rosalie were tracking Victoria, and they were in this city, then Victoria -

"Edward! Will you please tell us what has you so excited?" Emmett said, with a hint of worry in his voice. Of course, when Rosalie was concerned, definitely....

"Esme and Rosalie are supposed to be tracking Victoria. They are in Vancouver - right now!" I said, my voice low and urgent.

_This is bad,_Carlisle thought. _Both James and Victoria are dangerously close to one another_.

Emmett was still staring at me - his eyes blank. "I don't get it."

I slammed my forehead against the back of the seat, leaving a small dent. Ignoring Emmett's verbal abuse flung at me for denting his beloved Jeep, I spat furiously, "Are you stupid? Mentally challenged? Emmett, they're in town chasing Victoria, which means that Victoria has recently been here!"

Understanding dawned in his eyes. "Oh...."

*Can you hear any of them? Carlisle asked me.

I sifted through the thousands of murmurs crowding my mind, but none were familiar. "No - they must be a few more miles out."

"Well, we'll just follow their scents until we find them," Carlisle decided. "At this point, we have absolutely nothing to lose. Also, where do you think James is? Edward? Emmett?"

"James is probably far away from here," Emmett decided.

"Yes." I agreed for once. "I think he's trying to pick up a trace of Bella's scent again - not the decoy scents, the real scent - and follow that."

"He's probably going back to Forks and starting back over from there," Emmett continued.

Carlisle nodded in agreement. "At this time, that's perhaps the only place he can go. Two of the leads were false, so he must be trying to follow the third lead - Alice and Jasper."

My insides, which had relaxed just a mere smidgen, tightened back up. I buried my face in my hands, nearly ill with worry. If James followed the real trail, he would be more than likely to succeed and find them.

I decided to think of ways I could make death all the more painful for James, seeing as I was no help sitting and moping. Keeping my mind attuned to any trace of Esme', Rosalie', or Victoria's voice, I imagined.

I would first rip his limbs off, of course. I would be sure to do it slowly, so that the metal screeching dragged on for minutes before a limb was severed. Alice and Emmett would surely aid me in adding insult to injury. While we were staring at James' disassembled body on the ground, a fire would be built. One by one, I would toss the pieces -

_If looks could kill, clouds would be dead by now. We just had to lose her scent...now!_

I snapped back to the present. "Rosalie - I can hear her," I whispered.

Emmett swiveled in his seat to face me. "Where are they?" he asked, rushed.

My mind focused on the image Rosalie had in her head. I picked out all the street signs. "Four blocks ahead, turn left; two blocks, turn left again; one block, turn right."

Carlisle nodded. _All right, on it. _

My mind kept track of every move and turn Esme and Rosalie made. It was quite hard, seeing as Rosalie's vision did not always include the street signs, so I had to go by instinct and logic.

Two minutes later, the two were stopped in traffic. I could tell that they were not far away from us. "I think we can yell for them now," I said. "Not too loud, though."

"Esme? Esme!" Carlisle called out, at a volume undetectable by the humans surrounding us.

"Rosalie? Can you hear me?" Emmett shouted, a good bit louder than Carlisle. A few humans turned to stare, and I quickly shoved one of Emmett's rap CDs into the stereo and played it at full volume. The humans' thoughts all turned condescending toward us 'teenagers' and 'college students' (of which we were neither). I tried to think and detect Esme or Rosalie's thoughts through the so-called music.

_I'm dreaming again, aren't I? That wasn't Emmett's voice. Odd - I thought that my unconscious days were behind. But that rap music that just started was a CD that Emmy-bear owned. Oh, now I'm just dreaming._

"Yell again," I said, trying to hold back my wince at her terrible nickname for Emmett - though it suited him.

"Rosalie? Can you hear me, baby? If you can, tell Esme to pull out of traffic and into a side street."

_Yes! That was him, I'm sure!_ "Emmett? Is that really you?" she called back to us excitedly, her voice faint to my ears, though not to my mind.

"Yes, it's me, Rose! Now pull over when you can!"

Rosalie was telling Esme to pull over - thankfully, there was a small, secluded side street off to their right. Esme skillfully maneuvered the BMW through three lanes of traffic and turned into that small road.

Taking note of their surroundings, I gave Carlisle the directions to reach their position.

After several turns and twists on quite a few look-alike back avenues, we finally spotted the flashy, bright crimson convertible, obviously out of place among the broken, torn-out windows, weathered houses and rusty, falling-apart vehicles - like Bella's, I couldn't help but compare scornfully.

Emmett leapt out of the car before Carlisle was within fifty feet of them. In a flash, he was by Rosalie's side, taking her hand in his. "Oh, Rose!" he gasped before leaning down to kiss her passionately. Both their minds were overclouded with lusty thoughts filled with want for each other.

Carlisle stopped the car and stepped out, extending his arms to Esme, who ran headlong into them. They stared into each other's eyes, lost in their own world.

I had not felt like this - like a "fifth wheel", a modern-day teenager would say, ever since Bella. Now, standing there while the couples were reuniting, I felt very awkward and looking down, studying the suddenly interesting car floor.

Spotting Carlisle's cell phone, I had an idea. I reached into my pocket and came up with a handful of splintered, slivered plastic and wires.

My best guess was that I had destroyed the gadget while tossing and turning in the backseat, tormented by thoughts of Bella and worry for her safety.

I reached out to grab Carlisle's phone, sure he would not object. I stepped out of the car, slipped past the couples caught in their romantic moment and sank to the floor behind a run-down shed.

With speedy fingers, I dialed Alice's phone number and waited expectantly.

"Carlisle," Alice answered.

"Alice, it's me, Edward," I said quickly into the phone. "My phone is destroyed. You've seen that we lost their trails, correct?"

"Yes," she answered, with a hint of uneasiness. I suspected that Bella was there listening, and I had no wish to worry her.

"Speak quietly and quickly," I instructed her. "Where is he?"

"He boarded a plane," she said, her voice hard to hear over the phone, it was so quiet. "Where to, I can't tell."

"Is he going to make a move soon?"

"I just saw him," Alice explained. "I saw him in a large, spacious room with mirrors on all the walls. There were distinct arches over the doors and windows. Bella seems to recognize them slightly."

"What was James doing?" I asked, my voice nearly hysterical. I couldn't delay this anymore.

"He was holding a remote control...I don't know, Edward. This is, I think, a highly subjective vision - very fuzzy and unclear. There's no way to know what he may do from now until who knows when. However, whatever made him get on that plane - it was leading him to those rooms."

I sighed and processed that again. "Call Carlisle immediately if anything happens. We'll most likely be heading toward you and Jasper to protect Bella from all angles. Is she nearby?"

"Yes - Bella?"

There was a brief pause, some scuffling sounds from the exchange of hands, and then the voice of the most beautiful angel on earth filled my ear.

"Hello?" the slightly breathless voice asked.

"Bella," I sighed, immediately at ease with the sound of her speech.

"Oh, Edward!" she cried. "I was so worried -"

"Bella," I said through gritted teeth, somewhat exasperatedly. "I told you not to worry about anything but yourself!" I was fairly certain that she was going to grow prematurely gray with all the unnecessary fussing about she always did over nothing at all.

Old and gray...no, I couldn't linger on that image. I had to save her first, or she wouldn't even receive the chance.

"Where are you?" Those words brought me back to earth.

"We're outside of Vancouver," I said quietly, ashamed once more that James had escaped us. Stupid, stupid, I chanted. A true idiot - shirking your duty. And when Bella was concerned, at that. "Bella, I'm sorry," I mumbled, rubbing my forehead. "We lost him. He seems suspicious of us. He stays just far enough away that I can't hear what he's thinking."

I paused for half a second, and resumed when I could hear nothing but her heavy breathing from the other end.

"But he's gone now. It looks like he...got on a plane," I said quickly, not entirely sure of myself. "We think he's heading back to Forks to start over."

Bella was quiet for a moment, and spoke up again. "I know - Alice saw that he got away," she muttered.

"You don't have to worry, though," I added, hoping that my words wouldn't let her down. "He won't find anything to lead him to you. You just have to stay there and wait till we find him again."

It was amazing, the speed which the lies poured from my mouth. With each word I said that I was far from believing, myself, I felt a new pain, a new stab, of guilt. What if Alice' and Jasper's defenses weren't enough and James reached Bella? She would spend her last moments knowing that I was not only a monster, but a liar and a traitor.

"I'll be fine," her soft, melodious voice soothed me. "Is Esme with Carlisle?"

"Yes. The female has been in town. She..." I listened for a brief moment on the information that Esme was sharing with Carlisle. "She went to the house, but while Charlie was at work," I said, making sure not to frighten her. "She hasn't gone near him, so don't be afraid," I reassured her - another lie. "He's safe with Esme and Rosalie watching." Yet another lie.

Right on cue, I heard Esme's determined thoughts. _This isn't getting us anywhere. We'll head back to Forks._

"What is she doing?" Bella asked.

"Probably trying to pick up the trail. She's been all through the town during the night. Rosalie traced her through the airport, all the roads around town, the school…she's digging, Bella, but there's nothing to find."

"And..." She hesitated, and started again. "You're sure Charlie's safe?"

"Yes, Esme won't let him out of her sight," I said. I knew, without a doubt, that Esme would do her best to protect Bella. Her motherly instincts were always kicking in whenever someone new joined us, but she hadn't felt that way in decades.

Bella sighed from the other end. "I miss you, she murmured after a few seconds."

"I know, Bella." Understatement of the millennium. "Believe me, I know. It's like you've taken half my self away from you." My heart ached to join her. I pressed the phone to my ear so hard that it might snap in two at any moment.

"Come and get it, then," she said tauntingly. The smile on her face was audible - I could sense it over the phone.

"Soon," I promised. "As soon as I possibly can. I will make you safe first." Hell, I would make her safe if that was the last task I would ever accomplish.

"I love you," she said quietly, her voice small and subdued.

Irrationally and unreasonably, I added in my head. "Could you believe that, despite everything I've put you through...I love you, too?" I smiled halfheartedly.

"Yes, I can, actually." I bit back a groan, knowing that the end of our conversation was drawing to a close.

"I'll come for you soon," I whispered.

"I'll be waiting."

Those were the last words I allowed myself to hear before I snapped the phone shut.

I rested my head against my knees, my mind whirling. I ran one hand idly through my hair, imagining that it was Bella's hand.

It was unjustifiable that she would love me. I couldn't give anything in return, and I would be taking so much away from her. She would never have a normal life like all other humans should; she would never be able to dismiss vampire lore as mere superstition; she would never be able to really love.

I could not really love her back.

I would never be able to.

I would die.

As soon as she took her last breath, whether it be now or in eighty years, I would be at her side, dying as well.

Right then and there, I vowed to be as 'normal' as I could. I would try to love her back as she deserved to be loved, I would live out the rest of her life as a faithful man should, and I would die when she did.

It would be so much simpler, though, if she would only stop loving me. My own heartbreak was nothing compared to saving her life, and her soul.

Hell, I would gladly allow her to take my heart, crush it into tiny slivers, stomp on it, set it on fire, and put it into a trash can if only she would stop loving me.

Stop loving me, Bella!

Please, stop!

Stop!

_Stop!_

"Edward? Edward!" I felt a hand on my shoulder and looked up into the concerned eyes of Carlisle.

I immediately jumped up, dusting myself off. "Yes?"

"You were mumbling 'stop' repeatedly."

How queer - it was so unusual not to be aware of my own actions. Truly, it was all Bella's doing.

She was the only one that could disorient a vampire to this extent.

_Idiot. Mumbling on and on like that._ I glared at Rosalie, who shot daggers at me with her eyes. For some reason, at that time, I felt weak. I fidgeted and turned my gaze away.

_That's right. Just look away._

I exploded, as if I had a severe mood swing. "Rosalie, will you please, please keep your thoughts to yourself?! Personally, I am sick and tired of your antagonism toward Bella! What has she done to wrong you? Why are you so determined to make life a hell for her? For me? For both of us?!"

I was unable to concentrate on her reply when Emmett knocked me clear through the shed.

He held me against the ground, rage evident in his eyes.

_Don't you dare speak that way to Rose again. Am I clear?_

"Emmett, back off."

Carlisle's voice was quiet and cold. Emmett took one look at his stiff, rigid form and leapt off me.

"Jeep. Now."

I wasted no time jumping back into the Jeep, not wanting to witness the couples' goodbyes.

Bella.

Bella.

Bella.

How I missed her.

When Carlisle climbed back in the car again, we zoomed clear out of Vancouver within ten minutes.

"I don't ever want to see that kind of behavior again," he fumed at us during those ten minutes. "What if a human just happened to be nearby? Hmm?"

We stayed quiet.

10 minutes later -

I still missed Bella.

20 minutes later -

I still missed Bella.

15 minutes later -

The phone rang. Carlisle had it to his ear before the ring stopped. "Yes, Alice?"

"Carlisle, Bella's gone!"

**AN: Hee hee. I'm evil, cutting you off like that. But you all know what happened, yadda yadda yadda....**

**In regards to a few reviews I had received from some anonymous reviewers, I would like to address the..."issue" with Edward's language in his thoughts. Apparently, I can't allow him to say "God" or "Lord" or cuss. News flash: my fic, my storyline. Got it? Good. Don't got it? LEAVE.**

**Review!**

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***On knees begging* Review!**

**Let this be a lesson to you...my readers of my other fic, Return to Forks, were extremely unfaithful, so they'll have to wait twice as long as this story and Dartmouth to get an update.**

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	12. HideandSeek

22. Hide-and-Seek

**AN: This chapter is kind of missing, as far as the manuscript copy of Twilight goes. Seeing as I don't even have a copy of Twilight, please excuse any minor mistakes on times, transportation, etc. And it might be a bit different than how you all imagined it, since it's so vague and malleable, at least from Bella's POV.**

**Anyway, enjoy this rare update...=]**

I gripped the phone so tightly that it smashed into bits.

"Shit!" I cussed under my breath. Now of all times, when Alice had crucial information for me about Bella, I had to let my strength get out of control.

_How...what...possible?_ "How could she have escaped both Alice _and_ Jasper?" Carlisle wondered out loud.

"I don't know, and I don't care. I just need her back!" I spat with venom (no pun intended). "She's unguarded and vulnerable. This must be James's doing! He has the power, the knowledge, and the motives."

Emmett's phone rang. It was at his ear in an instant. "Alice?"

"Give the phone to me," I insisted.

Emmett handed his phone over. _Don't crush it, too,_ he warned me.

"Edward, I'm so sorry! Right now we're - "

"Tell me everything that happened," I interrupted, my voice cold. "How could she have possibly escaped you and Jasper?"

"We were at the airport, and Bella said she needed to use the restroom. Jasper accompanied her to the nearest restroom and waited outside for about ten minutes, before he and I realized that she was taking too long. I went in, and she wasn't there. Neither of us knew that the restroom had two exits, so she took the other one and slipped away. When we got outside of the building, she was nowhere to be seen." **(AN: I'm not sure if Bella escaped from the airport or the hotel, because the stupid movie is messing with my mind, but just play along.)**

My insides clenched ever so tightly; I was biting my lip - hard - and taking shuddering breaths.

"Edward? Are you all right?"

My hand shook as I fought to answer coherently. "Wh-where are you now?"

"Still outside the airport."

"We'll meet you there. I'll be able to see where you are."

I hung up and handed the phone back to Emmett.

He was eyeing me warily. _Why aren't you reacting?_

I stared blankly at him.

_Maybe you're still in shock._

"We have to take a plane," I announced to Emmett and Carlisle. "We can't possibly make it to Phoenix in this car - or by running."

We drove to the airport in silence.

When the car was parked and we were heading in toward the terminal, Carlisle asked the lady behind the desk for three tickets to Phoenix.

"I'm sorry. The flight to Phoenix is just about to take off, and it's too late to get another ticket."

Carlisle pulled out three thousand dollars. "Would you perhaps change your mind now?"

The lady handed over three tickets. _Ahh! Three thousand dollars! I'm rich! Rich! Rich!_

"I don't know if you'll get to the plane on time," she warned us.

"Trust us, we will," Carlisle said.

...

The excruciating plane ride was finally coming to an end.

When we landed, my insides seemed to jolt in tune to the turbulence of the plane. Bella. Bella. Bella.

She was in danger.

After we landed, the three of us headed out silently. I searched hard for Alice's voice - it was harder than usual, because there were so many people.

_Edward, we're over here!_ I heard Alice's thoughts and my head jerked up.

_You're not far from us...turn right, and keep walking!_

My pace quickened, and I followed Alice's instructions. Finally, I saw Jasper's blond head sticking a few inches above the rest.

"Edward!" Alice exclaimed when we were closer to them. "I'm so glad you're here! We have to find Bella, quick! We should track her scent."

I nodded quickly. "Stay inconspicuous," I reminded everyone.

Out of all the mingled scents of the humans around us, I could pick out a faint fragrance of freesia and a hint of strawberry. _Must be Bella,_ I thought.

"I think I have her scent," I murmured.

"So do I_._"_ Flowers and fruit, right?_ Alice asked me.

"Yes. Let's go."

We walked at a brisk pace past the rest of the humans and soon were able to escape into the woods not far from the airport. Thank goodness that Alice and Jasper were at a smaller, less populated corner of the airport grounds and not in the center area.

As soon as we were obscured from the humans' view, I broke into a run. I could faintly detect Bella's scent and figured that I was running parallel to her scent trail.

I could barely take note of my surroundings. My whole being was focused on her scent.

_Bella, Bella. I'm closer. I'm coming to you._

Suddenly, the scent was gone. I halted, turned my head, and was able to catch a whiff of it again. "She turned that way," I whispered, running toward the scent now.

Her trail led us to a small neighborhood, to a house.

"She went in and then out," Jasper observed.

"Let's follow the 'out' trail, shall we?" Carlisle suggested.

I picked the trail that led to the road and away and followed it. "This should be the right one," I said.

We merged back into the strip of forest by the highway as I followed the scent of her natural fragrance mixed with the stink of car exhaust.

_Edward, can I please rip him up?_ Emmett asked me.

"No. James is mine," I hissed harshly.

After about two minutes, I caught a whiff of a scent that made my back stiffen, that made my eyes turn black, that made a deep, guttural moan escape my throat.

Blood.

More specifically, Bella's blood.

Forgetting everything and everyone, I raced toward the origin of the mouthwatering scent. I needed to have it - now.

The strong scent led to a building with an arched door and arched windows. I knocked the door down and searched blindly for the blood.

A scream from the throat of the purest, most beautiful angel pierced the air.

Just like that, the spell was broken.

A figure knocked me over and held me against one of the many mirrors I had just noticed the existence of. The eyes in front of me were the ones of the filthy scum, James.

James, who did not deserve to live.

James, who had caused my Bella to bleed and become unconscious.

James, who had scared Bella.

James, who had to die.

I could see nothing but red as I shoved back roughly against James, sending him sprawling on the floor. I gave him a vicious kick, having him cornered against a parallel wall.

"James," I whispered fiercely. "Your pitiful excuse for an existence will be over soon."

He snorted. "Think about the situation this way, young Edward. I'm doing you a favor that you would never have asked of anyone else. This is something that you want very much, but you would never have the bravery to do yourself."

I looked over my shoulder to see Bella, unconscious, with a bite on her wrist.

"No!" I gasped.

"Yes," James replied, grinning sadistically. "She will soon be like you. Well, are you going to keep her around for that long? Or did you just like her because she was your delicious-smelling human lover? Hmm?"

The utter nerve of this monster drove me crazy with rage. My arm tightened around his wais, my hand around his neck, and I bent him so that his spine snapped. A loud roar came from his lips. I shoved his head against the wall and punched him repeatedly. Emmett and Jasper were watching with utter fascination as the sound of crunching came from under my fists.

"You'll never save her," James whispered. "Never!" _And also, you might want to check out a certain...videotape of her. _

His mind was full of how he tortured Bella, how he'd forced her to look at the video camera, how he'd tried to make her beg.

Bella didn't deserve this. And James's life had to end...fast...now.

But Bella...I couldn't just abandon her to take care of James. I had to be by her side - that, I supposed, was one of the definitions of love.

"Emmett! Jasper! Take care of him!" I commanded.

_Yes_, Emmett thought. _At last!_

_Finally, something to distract me,_ Jasper thought with relief, trying not to linger on the scent of Bella's blood.

Her blood.

The reality of the situation finally perforated my mind, and I reeled back in shock.

Bella was bitten.

By a vampire.

By James.

James.

The venom was going to spread.

She was going to turn into a monster.

**AN: …perhaps the suckiest chapter I have ever written in my lifetime.**

**Anyway, review or else! Please review (or no update for a month).**

**I have so many favorite story and story alert emails, but barely any reviews!**


	13. The Angel

23. The Angel

**AN: I'm BAAAAAAAACK!!!!!!!!!**

Bella…lying there…arms splayed out in an unnatural angle…legs bent beneath her….

"Carlisle…." I choked out, unable to do anything more. The now-sickeningly-sweet scent of her blood called to me. It was, well, sickening in the sense that she was _dying_ and I was still dwelling on how fragrant her blood was.

Bella's body thrashed and her breath came in little gasps. The whole scene was, in short, unbearable. I didn't want to see her like this.

"Oh, no, Bella! No!" I cried, willing myself to do something to end her suffering, and becoming angry with myself because I knew there was nothing I could do.

This was the doing of James –

James.

Behind me, I heard a fierce growl come from Emmett's throat. _Take that!_ he growled mentally as he tore James's arm off.

Jasper growled, too, as he grasped James's head. Alice put a foot on James's spine and the two of them literally _tore_ his head off. The high, keening sound I was too familiar with started up with a vengeance and tore off when Emmett smashed the broken-up body into the ground.

Tearing my mind from the gruesome scene happening behind me, I gently placed my hands on either side of her head, but withdrew them once I saw the oh-so-tempting trail of blood dripping from her scalp.

"Carlisle!" I called again, louder this time. He was instantly at my side, his eyes alert as they studied Bella's many wounds.

Her body thrashed again.

"Bella, please!" I pleaded, wanting to place my hands on her shoulders, to shake her from this oblivion. "Bella! Listen to me, please, please, Bella, please!"

I received no response. Finally reaching my limit, I instantly broke down into dry sobs.

My Bella….my Bella…lying on the ground, _dying_…my fault…all my fault….

Suddenly, the convulsions in her body ceased. Instead, now it was as if she was shaking, little by little, and then more, more, until her body was wracked with tremors. Suddenly, her mouth opened and she screamed.

"Bella!" I said, stopping my wallowing in my puddle of self-pity.

Carlisle moved forward to brush his fingers gently along the cut on her scalp. "She's lost some blood," he declared. "But the head wound isn't deep. Watch out for her leg; it's broken."

Broken. I screamed out in pure rage, almost hoping that James was reassembled again just so I could give him a little taste of his own medicine.

Carlisle shook his head minutely. _Thank God that her wounds aren't any worse than they are right now, though, _he thought. _Lord knows, he could've done a lot worse._

My teeth clenched, not wanting to listen to Carlisle's internal dialogue about how lucky Bella was. Lying in a small puddle of her own blood dripping from her head, the scent _burning_ me, she didn't look very lucky.

Carlisle's hand continued down her body, until they stopped at her ribs. He ran his fingers gently across each of them, until he stopped toward the middle.

"Some ribs, too, I think," he said. _Rib fractures aren't too bad, at least. They feel like hairline fractures._

Bella, whose movements had stopped, started squirming. Her lips parted ever so slightly and I could smell the sweet breath from them.

"Bella," I told her. "You're going to be fine. Can you hear me, Bella?"

I glanced down at her, and she seemed to be gasping.

"I love you," I whispered hopelessly. At least that was something she would know before….

"Edward." I heard it. My name, soft and garbled, but my name nonetheless, from her lips. She could talk. I was so glad. She could still talk! She said my name!

"Yes," I answered. "I'm here."

She sighed. "It hurts," she moaned, her eyes still squeezed shut.

How I wished I could lend her _my _body to take the pain for her. I would gladly suffer her current pain a hundred times over just to free her from this state. "I know, Bella," I said, feeling so useless. "I know." Turning away from her, I asked Carlisle desperately, "Can't you do anything?"

Alice came dancing over. "I left the boys to finish the job," she muttered in a low voice, so Bella wouldn't hear. "We'll have to burn this whole place once we're done."

"My bag, please," Carlisle asked. _I hope I have enough supplies to fix her up – at least until we reach a hospital._

Alice inhaled deeply, and she suddenly seemed like she was choking.

_The _scent….

Despite my previous thoughts about how good Bella smelled, I still snarled quietly at her for merely entertaining those thoughts in her head.

"Hold your breath, Alice," Carlisle commanded. "It will help."

Alice stopped breathing, but the scent still burned her nose. _Extremely uncomfortable…Edward, how can you put up with this every day?_

I scowled and did not look up.

"Alice?" Bella asked, her voice still weak.

"She's here," I answered. "She knew where to find you."

Her body stiffened. She said something that sounded like "My head hurts."

"I know, Bella," I told her again. "Carlisle will give you something. It will stop."

Her back arched off the floor. "My hand is burning!" she yelled out, loud and clear.

_Hand…._

The bite.

In all the confusion, James's bite had slipped my mind. Now I remembered.

Her eyes flew open but they looked past me, sightlessly, into nothingness.

"Bella?" I asked, confused and frightened.

"The fire!" she screeched. "Someone stop the…FIRE!"

"Carlisle, her hand!" I told him quietly.

_…What?! This is beyond…_ "He bit her," he whispered, shocked.

I tried desperately to control my breathing. There was no way I could ever allow Bella to become one of us, one of the soulless demons…no way. Not possible. I would _not_ allow it.

Alice spoke up. "Edward," she said softly. "You have to do it." Her fingers wiped the tears gently from Bella's eyelids.

Was she suggesting…?

_Yes. You have to suck the venom out. There is no other way._

"NO!" I yelled at her as the reality of her suggestion sank through.

"Alice," Bella whispered.

_Or would you prefer to do nothing and let the venom spread? _Her voice was sharp and icy now.

"There may be a chance!" Carlisle insisted.

"What?!" I exclaimed in horror.

"See if you can suck the venom back out – the wound is fairly clean," Carlisle told me, crawling over by Bella's head to bandage it.

"Will that work?" Alice muttered, more to herself now. She was starting to feel uncertain because _my_ uncertainty was depriving her of visions of the near future.

"I don't know," Carlisle admitted. "But we have to hurry!"

I was at an utter loss for words. My mind was reeling.

This one chance to save Bella from eternal damnation…one chance….

But her blood…I could barely resist it right here, let alone when my lips were latched onto her wound.

"Carlisle, I…." I trailed off, and restarted. "I don't know if I can…do that."

_You're afraid, _he stated. It was not a question. _You're scared of hurting Bella. And I can't tell you if she'll be safe. _"It's your decision, Edward, either way," he said. "I can't help you – I have to get this bleeding stopped here if you're going to be taking blood from her hand."

Bella hissed, teeth clenched, as she writhed in pain. Her broken leg moved, and her she screamed out, "Edward!"

Oh, how badly I wanted to take away her pain.

And how badly I wanted to drain her blood.

Her eyes opened again, and the dark brown irises finally focused on me. I stared into them, seeing all of her pain, her torture. I could see the flames inside her.

I did not know what to do.

I did not want to risk her life and suck her blood, and the possibility of eternal life with her was…captivating, to say the least. But….

"Alice, get me something to brace her leg," Carlisle said quietly, finishing the bandaging on her head.

_Edward, the venom's spreading._

I couldn't move. I couldn't respond.

"Edward!" Carlisle said. "You must do it now, or it will be too late."

That made up my mind.

No matter how much I loved Bella, I would take this risk and keep her human.

I stared into her eyes and saw fear there. _I'm sorry, Bella,_ I thought. _If I do kill you, please understand that I am sorry._

Picking up her wrist, I held it up to my lips. I breathed in and savored the scent.

And then I was sucking her blood out.

Delicious.

Tasty.

Goodness…so…_irresistible…._

Once I tasted the blood inside her, my eyes widened and I was sucking out great mouthfuls, the modicum of self-control I previously possessed washed away.

I could feel the rush of her blood through my body, ever so slightly tainted with the vile taste of James's venom.

Screams erupted from Bella's throat as I continued to suck on her wrist. Even the screams had no effect on me now; I was too far gone.

Alice's hands held her down, gently but firmly. "Shh…Bella. Edward's helping take the burning away. It'll be over soon, I promise."

Slowly, her thrashing slowed and finally stopped, and the taste of James's venom slowly disappeared, making her blood all the more delightful.

_Edward, stop now! _Carlisle commanded me. I ignored his authority.

"Edward, please," he pleaded, his voice a whisper. "You're killing her!"

I don't care, I thought savagely. The blood is too good. I will _not_ stop feeding. I could faintly taste medicine in her bloodstream...morphine? Perhaps.

Alice intervened, talking quietly as well. "Do you even remember why you're doing this?" she snapped.

_That's right,_ she continued. _This is to save Bella. And you're killing her._

Killing…her….

_If you kill her, you will be a murderer!_

But I can't stop.

_Yes, you can stop! _she told me. It was as if she could read my thoughts. She showed me the vision – Bella was safe, the venom gone.

_Find a will, Edward, _Carlisle said. _You _can_ stop! _

_Find a will...._

And inside me, I found the will to stop.

Slowly, I drew my bloodstained lips away from her wound.

Her eyes were still shut, but I heard her whisper faintly, "Edward."

The reality of what I'd almost done sank in, and I slumped, disappointed and ashamed of myself. Why should I have Bella's love? I almost killed her! I didn't deserve to be loved.

"He's right here, Bella," Alice soothed her.

"Stay, Edward," she pled, her voice sounding mushy. "Stay with me."

"I will," I promised her.

_You saved her,_ Alice thought, smiling toward her.

I did, didn't I?

I saved her from a sorry, pitiful existence for the rest of eternity.

Bella's mouth formed a small O and she let out a small sigh.

"Is it all out?" Carlisle asked, confirming.

"Her blood tastes clean," I answered quietly. "I can taste the morphine."

Carlisle nodded. _You did well, Son,_ he praised me. "Bella?"

She nodded faintly. "Mmm...hmm?"

"Is the fire gone?"

"Yes," she answered. "Thank you, Edward."

Even through the pain and tears, she knew it was me.

I had saved her.

"I love you," I told her again.

She smiled faintly. "I know."

The worst of the storm was over. She was safe. James was burning in the pile of wood behind us. I felt like laughing from the rooftops. Instead, I just let out a small, quiet chuckle.

"Bella?" Carlisle asked again.

"Mm...what?" she answered, looking as if she was trying to hold back a yawn.

"Where is your mother?" he asked, tensely.

"In Florida," she whispered, a trace of anger in her voice. "He tricked me, Edward. He watched our videos."

The liar, James. Using Bella's never-ending concern for her mother for his own purposes.

Bella suddenly breathed in sharply. "Alice," she said. "Alice. The Video. He knew you, Alice. He knew where you came...from...." She trailed off. "I smell gasoline," she added as an afterthought.

In caring for Bella, I hadn't noticed that the smell of incense - the smell of a burning vampire corpse - hung thick in the air, and that Emmett and Jasper were busy sprinkling gasoline around the building.

"It's time to move her," Carlisle said.

Bella whimpered, a soft, heartfelt sound. "No," she whined. "I want to sleep."

My heart went out to her. "You can sleep, sweetheart," I reassured her. "I'll carry you."

Ever so carefully, I slipped my arms under her and picked her up, supporting her neck the most as if she were an infant.

She sighed happily, drifting off.

"Sleep now, Bella," I whispered.

**AN: How did you like that? Did it compensate somewhat for the overly sucky chapter last time?**

**REVIEW PLEASE!!! PLEASE!!!**

**Two? chapters and this story will be over.**

**Review and tell me if you want a sequel - that is, New Moon in EPOV, or a prequel - Edward's life before Bella.**


	14. An Impasse

24. An Impasse

**AN: GAH!!! SM's writing style = horrible! SOO MANY COMMA SPLICES!!!! I fixed all of them =] Btw, I am on FANFICTION not because I'm an avid Twilight fan but because they're made of stories with Edward, Bella, and the rest of the crew and they're NOT written by SM!!!!!!**

Once again, I was at Bella's bedside, utterly incapable of staying away.

The past days have been…well…hell, to put it bluntly.

My dear sister has been at her wits' end, fabricating the "perfect" scene of Bella's accident after she had thought of the "perfect" accident. After Jasper and Emmett had burned the dance studio down, they themselves called the police to report the building. As Emmett said, "The criminals are right here, and they'll be searching far and wide. Hah!"

Rosalie and Esme had arrived, upon hearing of Bella's condition. So has Renée Esme and Renée became friends instantly, and were constantly conversing when they were not visiting Bella.

We had taken the video camera that James had been holding in his hand. It was a blurry, badly-taken video of Bella in her terrified, torturous, painful moments before James bit her. In it were clues to Alice's mysterious past – which none of us knew about. Finally, there was something to lead us to what was previously unknown.

I have become a statue, a motionless ice sculpture, fixed beside Bella's hospital bed, waiting for her to snap out of unconsciousness, but the beeping of the heart monitor and the soft sound of the IV just tormented me hour after hour. As a doctor, Carlisle asserted his authority and managed to make the female staff allow me to sleep in Bella's hospital room.

Ah, the female staff. The only people not swooning over me were the very old nurses – fifty-something and above – and Bella's doctor in Phoenix, who just thought, _What a charming young man_. The rest were vile and repulsive – and did not understand that I was seventeen and already disgusted.

In these days of Bella's unconsciousness, I have had more than enough time to contemplate the encounter. The accident. My conclusion was that no matter what anyone said, no matter what happened, no matter _what_, I was still to blame.

Of course, I was capable of forcing her – literally – to move away from Forks, to Jacksonville, her mother's new home (as I heard when I eavesdropped on Esme and Renée's conversation), but I couldn't bear to see any expression other than calm or happiness on her face. And as much as I hate to admit this, the ludicrous truth was that she would be utterly unhappy if she was away from me – as I said before, wanting to be with a monster – ludicrous.

An alert from Alice jolted me from my reminiscing. _Her eyes are going to open in…7…6…5…4…3…_

I touched Bella's fingers lightly, and sure enough, her eyes slowly fluttered open. Her eyebrows creased adorably in annoyance as she reached for the small, clear plastic tube under her nose.

I immediately reached out to restrain her hand. "No, you don't," I said softly as I placed it back by her side.

She looked confused. "Edward?" she asked as she turned to see my face resting on the edge of her bed, partly on her pillow. A breathtaking smile graced her face. "Oh, Edward, I'm so sorry!" she cried.

I reached out to stroke her hair. "Shhhh," I murmured, though I couldn't figure out why she was apologizing. "Everything's all right now."

"What happened?" she asked.

"I was almost too late," I admitted. "I _could_ have been too late."

She sighed. "I was so stupid, Edward," she muttered. "I thought he had my mom."

I gritted my teeth. "He tricked us all," I growled.

She shook her head slightly. "I need to call Charlie and my mom!" she said.

"Alice called them," I reassured her. "Renée is here – well, here in the hospital," I added hastily. "She's getting something to eat right now."

"She's…here?" she asked, trying to prop herself up on one arm. Seeing her difficulty (and complying with the doctor's orders), I put a hand on her chest and gently pushed her back down.

"She'll be back soon, and you need to stay still," I told her.

Her eyes widened as they looked at me. "But what did you tell her?" she said, a tone of urgency in her voice. "Why did you tell her I'm here?"

My mouth twitched a marginal degree. "You fell down two flights of stairs and through a window," I said. "You have to admit…it _could_ happen."

She sighed, looking down the bed at the rest of her damaged, broken body and asked, "How bad am I?"

"You have a broken leg, four broken ribs, some cracks in your skull, bruises covering every inch of your skin, and you've lost a lot of blood." I paused after reeling through the list of injuries. "They gave you a few transfusions," I added. "I didn't like it – it made you smell all wrong for a while." I wrinkled my nose a little to emphasize my point.

"That must have been a nice change for you," she commented, somewhat sourly.

"No," I said. "I like how _you _smell." The freesia and strawberries, layering a deep, rich river of honey mixed with desire, was tainted by a nasty medical scent that made her blood less appealing to me – at least for the moment.

That made her stop for a moment. "How did you do it?" she asked at last.

"I'm not sure…." I trailed off, the curiosity in her innocent, beautiful, captivating gaze too much for me to handle. Absently, I grabbed her injured hand and rubbed it ever so gently.

She only waited patiently, with no indication of dropping the subject. I sighed, still shying away from eye contact.

"It was impossible to stop," I declared. "Impossible." I looked down at her, her expression still the same – not disgusted, not repulsed, not horrified, not afraid – but still accepting and loving. "But I did," I added, smiling halfheartedly, not able to rejoice wholly in my accomplishment. "I _must_ love you." _And look where it landed you – right in the hospital,_ I added silently.

"Don't I taste as good as I smell?" She smiled teasingly.

How would she ever comprehend my emotions? It was no joke to me. I failed to see the humor in it. "Even better. Better than I'd imagined." So good that words could not describe the sheer pleasure, the bloodlust, when the sweet nectar from her veins slid down my throat.

"I'm sorry."

I rolled my eyes. "Of all the things to apologize for!" Frankly, I was quite exasperated with the odd apologies of this girl. Apologizing for something she couldn't control….

"What should I apologize for?" she asked. I figured that that one was headed my way.

"For very nearly taking yourself away from me forever," I whispered intently, though I didn't shift my gaze.

"I'm sorry," she repeated.

My lips curved up slightly. "I know why you did it," I sympathized. The bonds between mother and daughter – more specifically, Bella and Renée, were something I'd never understand. "It was still irrational, of course. You should have waited for me; you should have told me."

"You wouldn't have let me go," she argued.

"No, I wouldn't."

Bella's gaze finally shifted to the ceiling. Her face was like an open book – I could see events replaying on her face. She shuddered, and then she grimaced in pain.

"Bella, what's wrong?" I asked quickly, anxious lest there be a problem with the pain medication.

"What happened to James?" she asked.

Ah, the ever-so-morbid subject. "After I pulled him off you, Emmett and Jasper took care of him." I only wished that _I _could've been the one to kill him instead.

"I didn't see Emmett and Jasper there."

"They had to leave the room – there was a lot of blood," I said vaguely, not wanting to describe exactly _how_ they took care of James.

"But you stayed," she mused, nearly in awe.

"Yes," I repeated. "I stayed."

"And Alice…and Carlisle…." She trailed off.

I smiled. "They love you too, you know."

"Did Alice see the tape?"

"Yes," I said, and then growled softly at the sight of my Bella, scared, under James's control.

"She was always in the dark," she whispered. "That's why she didn't remember." She mistook my rage for James's secret of _Alice._ How mistaken she was.

"I know – she understands now," I said through clenched teeth, not wanting to fly into a rage.

Her hand lifted toward me, but the IV tube restrained it. "Ugh," she moaned.

"What is it?" I barely managed to ask.

"Needles," she said, looking intensely at the ceiling.

I felt like chuckling at her…strangeness, I suppose. "Afraid of a needle," I grunted. "Oh, a sadistic vampire – intent on torturing her to death – sure! No problem. She runs off to meet him. An IV, on the other hand…."

She cut me off. "Why are _you_ here?"

The intent sounded like "I don't want you here" to me. I was shocked, of course, but hurt too.

"Do you want me to leave?" I asked softly. I would rather do anything than leave, but if she wanted….

"No!" she nearly yelled. "I mean…why does my mother think you're here?" she corrected herself. "I need to have my story straight before she gets back.

"Oh," I said, relieved that she still wanted me with her, and started to explain in a rush. "I came to Phoenix to talk some sense into you, to convince you to come back to Forks. You agreed to see me, and you drove out to the hotel where I was staying with Carlisle and Alice – of course I was here with parental supervision – but you tripped on the stairs on the way to my room and…well, you know the rest. You don't need to remember any details, though; you have a good excuse to be a little muddled about the finer points." I glanced over at her, making sure that she caught all that.

Her gaze was fixed far away, and she seemed to be thinking. "There are a few flaws with that story," she finally said. "Like no broken windows."

"Not really," I said, remembering Alice's little late-night adventure with the window and the highly realistic crash sound effects and using a mannequin that looked like Bella…. "Alice had a little bit _too_ much fun fabricating evidence. It's all taken care of very convincingly – you could probably sue the hotel if you wanted to." I reached out to touch her face. "You have nothing to worry about; your only job now is to heal."

The heart monitor reacted to my touch, and started to accelerate at an uneven pace.

Bella sighed and blushed that beautiful, rosy color. "That's going to be embarrassing," she commented.

I chuckled – genuinely. I was curious as to how she would react when she heard herself react. "Hmm. I wonder…."

Leaning in, I started to press my lips to her warm, soft ones. I was a fraction of an inch away when the heart monitor went absolutely insane. As soon as our lips met, the beeping ceased.

Shocked at what happened, I nearly leapt back, only to sigh in relief as the beeps restarted at a normal pace.

I frowned at this new discovery. "It seems that I'm going to have to be even more careful with you than usual," I pouted.

"I was not finished kissing you!" she whined. "Don't make me come over there!"

Smiling, I went over to kiss her gently once more. Before I could deepen the kiss, however, I could hear Renée's mind. _I hope Bella's awake…I hope the pain meds are working…._

I stepped back. "I think I hear your mother."

"Don't leave me!" she said. Her eyes were wide with fright, perhaps afraid of having me leave – absurd.

"I won't," I vowed. "I'll take a 'nap'." I grinned as I sat in the recliner near her bed, laying back down and twisting about a bit to create the effect of a long nap.

"Don't forget to breathe!" she added teasingly. Humoring her, I took in an exaggeratedly-large breath, filling my lungs with unnecessary oxygen.

Renée stepped in, and rather than having to deal with the emotional overload of two human women in the room, I tried not to pay attention to their conversation and thought about random, nonsensical topics.

If we don't have to breathe, and the air is getting polluted, shouldn't us vampires conserve oxygen by not breathing? That seemed like a pretty good idea to me…except for being uncomfortable, of course….

Is abortion good or bad? Of course, it was terminating a would-be life, but in some exceptions, such as rape, the female should be allowed to choose….

Bella was pretty.

Scratch that, Bella was utterly, breathtakingly beautiful.

_…and Bella will be so glad to move to Jacksonville! I just know it! We specifically picked out a house near the beach so she could go wherever she wanted…and it's so sunny, much better than Forks…._

I immediately tensed when I heard that.

"And you'll like Jacksonville so much!" Renée exclaimed. "I was a little bit worried when Phil started talking about Akron, what with the snow and everything, because you know how I hate the cold, but now Jacksonville! It's always sunny, and the humidity really isn't _that_ bad. We found the cutest house, yellow, with white trim, and a porch just like in an old movie, and this huge oak tree, and it's just a few minutes from the ocean, and you'll have your own bathroom – "

Throughout this whole little rant of hers, I was whirring things through my mind.

Bella would be free! Free from this 'mythical' world of ours, free from impending doom and danger, free from my bloodlust, free from us monsters, and free to have a normal life.

But….

I needed Bella in my life. It was as if I were a human vegetable and Bella was my life support. I couldn't exist without her. She was my sunshine, my first love, my only love, my last love, my everything.

My existence.

I was so busy deeming myself 'screwed for eternity', as Emmett would say, that I missed Bella's response.

"…Phil will be able to be around so much more now…we've talked about it a lot, and what I'm going to do is trade off on the away games, half the time with you, half the time with him."

"Mom," Bella started. My breath caught in my throat as my mind screamed in agony of not knowing her decision. Renée was in a state of shock, but whether that was from Bella's rejection or acceptance, I did not know.

"I _want_ to live in Forks," Bella said. "I'm already settled in at school, and I have a couple of girlfriends, and Charlie needs me. He's just all alone up there – and he can't cook _at all_," she added.

"You want to stay? In _Forks?!_" Renée asked disbelievingly. Then her mindset changed. _Hmm…that boy…always with her…even coming to Phoenix to see her…aha! I see now! _"Why." She posed it more as a statement than a question.

My insides just knotted with internal disgust. This monster, who made Bella face fatal danger, and she wanted to stay.

"I told you," Bella answered. "School. Charlie. Ouch!"

My eyes flew open and I glanced at her. She seemed to be fine, and I didn't detect any major panic in Renée's thoughts, so I slipped back into my 'nap'.

_Ah-huh. School. Charlie. Suuuure. I bet it's one of those "oh my god I'm so in love and I can't leave this person" teenage infatuations, huh? I just hope she doesn't end up like I did…._ "Is it this boy?" she asked aloud.

_And don't lie to me, girl, I saw the look on his face when he talked about you! And the look on _your_ face, too. _

"He's a part of it," Bella confessed, but she didn't elaborate more. "So, have you had a chance to talk with Edward?"

"Yes," Renée said, looking over at me. I quickly relaxed as I breathed. In, out. In, out. "And I want to _talk_ to you about that."

_It is time for the talk of loooooooove…as for the birds and the bees, covered! _I almost groaned out loud – Bella wasn't joking when she said her mother wasn't very adult-like.

"What about?" Bella asked, too nonchalantly.

"I think that boy is in love with you," she said. _Love…teenage love…so innocent and yet do they have any idea where they're headed? Oh no!_

If only she knew just _how_ much I loved Bella.

"I think so, too," Bella said.

"And how do you feel about him?"

I tuned out again, not wanting to witness this undoubtedly private talk between Bella and her mother. Instead, I focused on the minds of the people driving past the hospital. Boring, yes, pointless, yes, but it held my attention for a short time, at least.

"…broke into that dance studio around the corner from the house and burned it to the ground! There's nothing left at all! And they left a stolen car right out front. Do you remember when you used to dance there, hon?" **(whoops, forgot about the stolen car in the last chapter. Sorry!) **

Ah, Emmett and Jasper.

"I remember."

Renée's glance darted toward me tonight, distrustfully. "I'll be back later tonight," she warned Bella.

"I love you, Mom."

"I love you too, Bella. Try to be more careful when you walk, honey; I don't want to lose you."

Accident-prone. A smile crossed my face.

Just then, a nurse swept in, checked a few things, and left.

When the door clicked shut, I dashed immediately to Bella's side.

She cocked an eyebrow at me. "You stole a car?"

I puffed out my chest. "It was a good car," I said. "Very fast."

"How was your nap?" she joked.

"Interesting," I replied truthfully. It had given me a good scare, that was for sure.

"What?" she asked, oblivious to my train of thought.

I sighed before I started to explain, and I averted my gaze, looking at the dirty, smudged floor. "I'm surprised," I said. "I thought Florida…and…your mother. Well, I thought that's what you would want."

She looked at me, confusion in her eyes. "But you'd be stuck inside all day in Florida. You'd only be able to come out at night. Just lie a _real_ vampire."

I tried to smile for her sake, but couldn't. She still thought that I would be at her side, that I had no regard for her safety whatsoever, that I wouldn't physically remove myself from her life. "I would stay in Forks, Bella, or somewhere like it," I said. "Someplace where…." It was so hard to say this, but it needed to be said. "I couldn't hurt you anymore."

Her gaze was fixed on me, not comprehending. I gazed steadily back, my face devoid of emotion. The nurse walked in just as a flash of pain crossed her features.

"Time for more pain meds, sweetheart?" she asked, sounding kind, but really thinking unkindly. _So exhausted already…the coffee machine doesn't work! And forget about Starbucks…the drive-thru line takes all day. Nice day, and to top that off, pain meds to this girl. Ugh. _I nearly snarled.

"No, no," Bella moaned. The nurse mistook her previous pain for physical pain. "I don't need anything."

"No need to be brave, honey," the nurse chastised. "It's better if you don't get too stressed out; you need to rest." Bella just shook her head. "Okay…hit the call button when you're ready."

_Bet that boy's the cause for all of this…hmph. Teenagers…can't trust them. _She shot me an "I'm watching you" look and left.

Instantly, I rested my fingertips on Bella's face, but she was still panicked. Her breaths were coming in short little pants and the degree of tortured pain in her eyes was almost as bad as when she was being tortured by James.

I was the cause of the pain.

"Shh, Bella," I crooned. "Calm down."

"Don…Don't leave me!" she cried out, her voice breaking.

"I won't," I said. "Now relax, before I call the nurse back to sedate you."

The heart monitor kept racing at the same speed. The thud-thud of her heart continued to drive me insane. She was still heaving for breath, her eyes darkened with fear.

"Bella," I whispered, trailing my fingers across her face. "I'm not going anywhere – I'll be right here as long as you need me."

"Do you _swear_ you won't leave me?" she asked.

I rested my hands on her cheeks and brought our faces close so that the tip of my nose was almost touching hers. "I swear," I breathed, reveling in the burning, sweet scent, and hoping that I would be able to calm her down a little.

She closed her eyes, breathing in when I exhaled, letting her breath out when I inhaled. Finally, the speed of her heartbeat began to slow.

"Better?" I asked, finally.

"Yes," she replied hesitantly.

I released her face. "What an overreaction to seeing your own personal leech leave you," I whispered for only my ears, but she caught it.

"Why did you say that?" she demanded. "Are you _tired_ of having to save me all the time? Do you _want_ me to go away?"

I shook my head. "No, I don't want to be without you, Bella, of course not. Be rational. And I have no problem with saving you, either – if it weren't the fact that I was the one putting you in danger…that I'm the reason that you're here."

"Yes, you are the reason, the reason I'm here _alive_," she contradicted.

"Barely," I said softly, looking up and down at her injuries. "Covered in gauze…and plaster, and hardly able to move.

Her voice was almost a growl – cute, if not under these circumstances. "I wasn't referring to my latest near-death experience!" she said, exasperated. "I was thinking of the others; you can take your pick. If it weren't for you, I would be rotting away in the Forks cemetery!"

Hearing those words come from her own lips made me shudder in fear. Thinking of her corpse, six feet under…I shied away from those morbid thoughts.

"That's not the worst part, though," I continued. "Not seeing you there on the floor, crumpled and broken." I swallowed a dry sob, reliving the moments. "Not thinking I was too late. Not even hearing you scream in pain! All those unbearable memories that I'll carry with me for the rest of eternity. No, the very worst was feeling…_knowing_ that I couldn't stop. Believing that I was going to kill you myself."

She sighed. "But you didn't," she argued.

"I could have," I insisted. "So easily."

Abruptly, the hard, fighting shield on her face broke, leaving a pain-filled, broken shell of a girl, her expression killing my dead heart. "Promise me!" she whispered urgently.

I, like the monster I was, decided to play it out nonchalantly. "What?" I asked.

"You know what!"

My body tensed, seeing as she wasn't going to let me go without a proper answer. "I don't seem to be strong enough to stay away from you," I said, "so I suppose that you'll get your way, whether it kills you or not," I said savagely.

"Good," she answered.

A moment of silence passed. Then:

"You told me how you stopped. Now I want to know why."

"…why?" I repeated, feeling utterly confused. She wanted to know…why I stopped myself from killing her?

"Why you did it," she clarified. "Why didn't you just let the venom spread? By now I would be just like you."

How did she…

Know…

About…

That?!

I had never told her about the mechanics of vampire conversion. Alice – or Jasper, but Alice seemed much more likely – _must _have told her.

_Oh, dear sister, we are going to have a good long _talk_ after this._

I clamped my mouth shut, stuck my chin out, and adamantly refused to say anything.

"I'll be the first to admit that I have no experience with relationships," Bella began. "But it just seems logical…a man and a woman have to be somewhat equal…as in, one of them can't always be swooping in and saving the other one. They have to save each other _equally_."

I took a deep breath, effectively controlling my rapidly changing mood swings. Eventually, I just decided to give her an answer.

"You have saved me," I said, in response to her mini-lecture.

"I can't always be Lois Lane – I want to be Superman, too," she said.

I stared down at her bed, unwilling to meet her eyes yet again today. "You…don't know what you're asking," I whispered. She didn't know that she was asking to sell her soul. And for what? For whom? Me. The soulless demon.

"I think I do." She glared at me.

Oh, she thought she was so smart, didn't she. "Bella, you _don't_ know," I insisted angrily. "I've had almost ninety years to think about this, and I'm _still_ not sure."

She was quiet for a moment before asking another question. "Do you wish Carlisle hadn't saved you?" A note of challenge was in her voice.

"No," I admitted. "I don't wish that. But my life was over; I wasn't giving anything up."

"You _are_ my life. You're the only thing it would hurt me to lose."

She should lose me. I should continue my lonely, sorry, pathetic excuse of an existence and she should fall in love with a handsome, loving, _human_ man, get married, have children, and grow old with her love. Not with me. She _couldn't _with me.

I would rob her of humanity.

I would rob her of her life.

I would take away any chance she had at normality.

I would end up killing myself.

I saw nothing but a horrible Romeo-and-Juliet ending for our own love story if I changed her. Nothing but pain, loss, and death.

"I can't do it, Bella!" I put my foot down on the subject. "I won't do that to you!"

"Why not?" she asked, a look of near-fury on her. "Don't tell me it's too hard. After today…or I guess it was a few days ago…anyway, after _that_, it should be nothing!"

She was missing the point.

"And the pain?" I continued. If I gave her an in-depth description of the funeral pyre, perhaps she would relent.

She winced, but recovered quickly. "That's my problem - I can handle it."

I held back a disbelieving snort. "It's possible to take bravery to the point where it becomes insanity," I told her.

She was relentless. "It's not an issue. Three days…big deal," she muttered.

I winced once more at the amount of information Alice had given her. Alice, dammit.

"Charlie?" I asked. I knew I was being cruel, trying to strike close to home, but I was just trying to show her what she would lose if she changed into a vampire.

Her mouth was open, trying to form a sentence, but not succeeding. Several minutes ticked by. I was just about to enjoy a bitter victory when she spoke.

"Look, that's not an issue either." I could tell she was lying. Her eyes were darting off to the side, and her voice was a low mumble. "Renée has always made the choices that work for her – she'd want me to do the same," she insisted, pleadingly. "And Charlie's resilient. He's used to being on his own. I can't take care of them forever; I have my own life to live!"

Her own life. To live. Not to take away. I would not take her life away from her.

"Exactly!" I exhaled sharply. "And I won't end it for you!"

She huffed in anger. "If you're waiting for me to be on my deathbed, I've got news for you!" she snapped at me. "I was just there!"

She was angry. I couldn't bear so much torture on her part, so I just looked away. "You're going to recover," I said.

For a moment, she paused. And then she took a big breath, wincing at the pain in her ribs, before she looked at me. I looked back, keeping my face smooth as a clear lake.

"No," she whispered. "I'm not."

All of a sudden, she was convinced that she wouldn't recover, that she would die from this attack. Perhaps it was a ploy to make me give in; I didn't know.

"Of course you are," I said. "You may have a scar or two – "

"You're wrong. I'm going to die."

Why was she suicidal? Did she actually _plan_ to _die_? "Really, Bella," I said, attempting to make my voice coaxing. "You'll be out of here in a few days. Two weeks at most."

She sent me a death glare that could've frozen her blood that was still in me – I nearly winced at the thought. "I may not die now," she declared, her words clipped, "but I'm going to die sometime. Every minute of the day, I get closer. And I'm going to get _old_."

The cycle of life, as it should be. As humans were created. As all life should continue. We were just aberrations, inhuman monsters who shouldn't be disturbing this cycle. I closed my eyes and pressed my fingers to my temples, hoping to relieve some of the confusing thoughts in my head.

"That's how it's supposed to happen; how it should happen; how it would have happened if I didn't exist. And _I shouldn't exist!_"

She snorted, surprising me effectively and making my eyes open. "That's stupid," she chastised me. "That's like going to someone who's just won the lottery, taking their money, and saying, 'Look, let's just go back to how things should be; it's better that way.' And I'm not buying it!"

Now I was being compared to a lottery win. Thank you, thank you. "I'm hardly a lottery prize," I muttered.

"That's right," she said, satisfied. "You're much better."

My patience was wearing thin. I didn't understand why she insisted on continuing this worthless conversation when I wasn't going to sway at all, under whatever circumstances. "Bella, we're not having this discussion anymore. I refuse to damn you to an eternity of night and that's the end of it!" I snapped harshly.

Surprisingly, she didn't flinch. "If you think that's the end, then you don't know me very well. You're not the only vampire I know." Her tone pointed toward a certain…sister of mine.

"Alice wouldn't dare!" I seethed. If she did, God knows, I'd be committing sibling-cide. But in my mind, I kept on seeing the one vision she'd received when I'd met Bella; her dark mahogany locks, her slightly-uneven, but nevertheless perfect lips, a beautiful, petite, curvaceous body, and deadly, stunning ruby eyes.

Bella's eyes went from determined to frightened and then soft. They scrutinized my face, though I was trying desperately not to give anything away.

"Alice already saw it, didn't she?" she asked. "That's why the things she says upset you. She knows I'm going to be like you, someday."

It seemed to me that I'd underestimated how well Bella could read _me_. In an instant, she knew all of my thoughts and the things burdening me down.

"She's wrong!" I insisted desperately. "She also saw you dead, but that didn't happen, either." I was willing my words to come true, hoping that she wouldn't die nor join the undead, but to lead a quiet, safe, _normal_ life.

Her stare was fixed on me, hard and piercing. "You'll never catch _me_ betting against Alice," she informed me.

I glared back at her, and I could sense a trace of fear, before it disappeared again. Her eyes bored into mine; I continued gazing back. I could see my own reflection in her eyes, and her pupils were dilated. Her lips were set into a thin line, and her ruffled hair was sticking out at all angles – too beautiful for me to resist. I finally wavered; big mistake. In that moment of wavering, the hard, pretentious mask around me slipped and crashed.

"So where does this leave us?" Bella asked quietly.

I chuckled once. "I believe it's called an impasse."

Bella inhaled deeply; a soft 'ouch' escaped her lips.

"How are you feeling?" I asked her, ready to jump and hit the button for the nurse.

"I'm fine," she said, but she didn't sound fine. She sounded like – what else? – she was in pain.

"I don't believe you," I whispered.

"I'm not going back to sleep," she retorted.

I sighed. "You need rest," I said. "All this arguing isn't good for you."

"So give in," she suggested.

That's my Bella. "Nice try," I laughed as I pressed the button.

"No!" she screeched, but I merely laughed.

_"Yes?" _the lady said over the speaker.

"I think we're ready for more pain medication," I said, tactfully not glancing over at Bella's ticked-off (all right, more like outraged) expression.

"I'll send in the nurse."

"I won't take it," Bella declared, crossing her arms.

I looked pointedly at her IV sack of fluids, and down the tube to her arm. "I don't think they're going to ask you to _swallow_ anything…."

Over the heart monitor (and through my own ears), I could hear her heart accelerate and wondered why she was so against the idea of pain medication.

"Bella," I said quietly. "You're in pain. You need to relax – so you can heal. Why are you being so difficult? They're not going to put any more needles in you now."

"I'm not afraid of the needles," she whispered. "I'm afraid to close my eyes."

She still distrusted me. I walked over to her bed, smiled gently, hoping to calm her, and held her face ever so gently between my hands. "I told you - I'm not going anywhere. Don't be afraid. As long as it makes you happy, I'll be here."

Those words were worth it when a beautiful smile lit up her face. "You're talking about forever, you know," she said.

I quoted her words from earlier, from the conversation with Renée: "Oh, you'll get over it. It's just a crush." I grinned.

She smiled again, shaking her head slightly. "I was shocked when Renée swallowed _that_ one. I know you know better."

But would her love for me last?

Like most teenage loves, most likely not. Despite this…this bond we had over the shared knowledge of who I was, she was more than likely to leave me when she realized that I couldn't satisfy her in any way. "That's the beautiful thing about being human," I said quietly, hoping she couldn't read the pain in my voice. "Things…change."

She glared, her eyes becoming slits. "Don't hold your breath," she warned.

Ironic – try telling that to the people who don't _need_ to breathe. I was laughing softly when the nurse's thoughts interrupted me; however, I stayed at her bedside, not wanting to leave unless told.

Soon enough, she stepped in the door. "Excuse me," she said quite rudely as she pushed past me. _Such a rude young man – standing in _my_ way! Hmph. If I had my way I would've banned him from this whole wing!_

Who was talking about rude, now?!

"Here you go, honey," she said, dripping the liquid into the tube to let it reach her bloodstream. "You'll feel better now." The kindness was just a façade, though.

"Thanks," Bella mumbled.

"That ought to do it," the nurse snorted as she stalked out. _Hopefully that was enough to keep her out for a few hours…I can go for coffee, at least. _I nearly growled at this woman's selfishness.

I walked back over to Bella's side and stroked her face gently.

"Stay…." She was quickly slipping away.

"I will. Like I said, as long as it makes you happy – " I caught myself. "As long as it's what's best for you."

Her head wobbled from side to side. "It's not the same thing," she whispered.

"Don't worry about that now, Bella," I replied, laughing. "You can argue with me when you wake up.

She grinned. "'Kay," she said.

I bent down to touch my lips to her earlobe softly. "I love you," I told her.

"Me too," she answered.

"I know."

Her head turned toward me, though her eyes were still closed. She shook her head a little, and I knew what she wanted. I leaned forward to kiss her quickly.

"Thanks," she murmured.

"Anytime."

Her chest rose and fell steadily, but just before her heartbeat settled down, I heard her say my name again.

"Yes?" I answered, anxious to get her to sleep.

"I'm betting on Alice."

And while her pulse slowed until it showed she was sleeping, I laughed.

**AN: How was it? Did it live up to everyone's...standards?**

**One more chapter and then this is OVER!!!**

**All right, so the votes for New Moon against Prequel were...**

**A lot to...one. **

**So, New Moon it is. However, I'm only writing it after I finish my current other two stories. It might be at the end of summer, but I'm going to put up a chapter announcing it, so don't take me off your story alerts!**

**And as always, REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**


	15. AN, CRY OF HELP, NOT A CHAPTER!

Okay, I am so sorry this isn't a review, but cry of help here: THE HARD DRIVE ERASED MY TYPED COPY OF TWILIGHT AND **IF ANYONE COULD PLEASE PM ME A COPY OF THE PROM SCENE OF TWILIGHT, IT WOULD BE GREATLY APPRECIATED!!!!!**

Also, I got a review from an anonymous reviewer, "angela", that made me…pissed, to say the least:

"u r so horrible!how long does it take to copy something.i m an 11 year old  
girl and i already published my on book. it only took me 4 months to write my  
own 217 page book! you r so stupid!hurry up to finish the last chapter. and  
get on with new moon already!"

**1) Oh, really. A published author. By which company, I wonder? Considering your terrible grammar and word usage, I doubt many GOOD publishers would take it.**

**2) Either you're not an author or you're not 11.**

**3) How many of the 217 pages are blank or filled with publishing info? **

**3) Not many of us are happy-go-lucky 11-year-olds with time on my hands. Do you know how hard it is to take a tenth-grade math class in seventh? Do you go to this school with backbreaking teachers? Do you take private piano and flute lessons, with slave-driving teachers? Heck, do you do track **_**and **_**tennis? Oh, OF COURSE not. ALL you have time to do is criticize on Fanfiction. **

**5) HELLO, MIDNIGHT SUN IS NOT COPYING TWILIGHT!!! YOU TAKE THE MAIN CHARACTER'S THOUGHTS AND TRANSFER TO ANOTHER CHARACTER'S POINT OF VIEW!!! DO YOU KNOW HOW FUCKING DIFFERENT IT IS FROM COPYING??? If you think YOU'RE so good, why don't YOU try writing it?**

Here's a suggestion?

Don't like it, don't read it.

Yup, that goes for everyone. I'm okay with anyone criticizing my style, since I'll need all of the (constructive) criticism I can get so I'm good enough to get into AP English early, but uh…if you believe that writing a story from another character's point of view is "copying", I don't want you to ever read ANY of my stories again—you don't deserve to.


	16. Epilogue: An Occasion

****

AN: All RIGHT! Last chapter! Thanks to everyone who gave me the last chapter. I really needed it and I hope this last chapter does this story justice and enough said!

* * *

Epilogue: An Occasion

As I held her hand and guided her into the car, I couldn't help but stare at the vision in front of me. Her dark blue dress was adorned with Alice's decorations, and I had insisted on adding some flower buds into her luscious locks. She stumbled on the way in, but I held on to her. She rolled her eyes and glared at the stiletto on her uninjured foot, which Alice had forced—literally—on her. The sweet aroma of her blood only added to her perfection tonight.

I closed the door and sped around the car, hopping in and buckling my own seat belt. Tactfully ignoring her angry glares in my direction, I tapped the gas pedal and we were off.

Bella crossed her arms across her chest and glowered at me. "At what point exactly are you going to tell me what's going on?" she snapped.

The right corner of my mouth twitched involuntarily. If I told her, she would've most likely jumped out of the car. But her score on her recent Deductive Reasoning test was a 96%, so it appeared odd to me that she hadn't pieced together the clues and realized what was happening.

"I'm shocked that you haven't figured it out yet." I smiled at her, and heard her heart rate speed up. It pleased me that this ethereal beauty could possibly be affected by a mere smile of mine.

Bella sighed. "I did mention that you looked very nice, didn't I?" she asked, somewhat timidly.

I smiled again, unable to help myself when faced with her clueless innocence. "Yes."

She huffed. "I'm not coming over anymore if Alice is going to treat me like Guinea Pig Barbie when I do!" she exclaimed angrily. She then leaned back into her seat, lost in her reverie of what happened this morning.

Soon, she would be grateful.

_Ring, ring. _Charlie's name flashed across the screen of my cell phone, and I held it to my ear. Truthfully, this call caught me off guard; I hadn't been expecting a call from him.

"Hello, Charlie," I said cautiously, not wanting to offend him in any way.

"Edward," he said. "Would you happen to know why Tyler Crowley is in my front yard, claiming that _Bella_ is his prom date? He is creating quite a disturbance, actually."

I burst into laughter. "You're kidding!" I exclaimed.

"No, I'm not kidding," Charlie said, at the same time that Bella said "What?"

"Why don't you let me talk to him?" I leaned back, satisfied, as I snuck a look at Bella. I'd been hoping for a sufficient opportunity to tell one of those boys off, and here was my chance.

There was a pause, shuffling, and then I heard Tyler's breathing on the other side of the phone.

"Hello, Tyler, this is Edward Cullen," I said, and heard his breathing speed up. It was with pleasure that I said, "I'm sorry if there's been some kind of miscommunication, but Bella is unavailable tonight."

Tyler was stupid enough to protest. "But I said I would take her to the—"

I ignored him. "To be perfectly honest," I continued. "She'll be unavailable every night, as far as anyone besides myself is concerned."

"But I even rented—"

"No offense," I plowed on. "And I'm sorry about your evening." I hung up on his still-protesting voice.

At my side, Bella's breathing sped up and she looked stunned.

"Was that last part a bit too much?" I asked gently. "I didn't mean to offend you."

"You're taking me to the prom!" she screeched, flushing dark red.

Overreaction, much? I thought to myself. "Don't be difficult, Bella," I pled.

"Why are you doing this to me?" she whispered.

I couldn't help a small smile from escaping at that. "Honestly, Bella," I said, gesturing toward my tuxedo and her prom dress. "What did you think we were doing?"

She turned her head away from me, toward the window. I could smell the salt-scented tear, trailing down her cheek. She hastily wiped it away.

I gripped onto the steering wheel as tightly as I could without snapping it. When did Bella become so temperamental? "This is completely ridiculous!" I said, frustration leaking into my tone. "Why are you _crying_?"

"Because I'm mad!" she replied with anger.

_"Do I dazzle you?"_

_"Frequently."_

This information proved useful. I calmed myself down so that my irises returned to a light golden color. "Bella," I whispered, trying to be…what? _Seductive_? And turned to her.

Her heart sped up again. "What?" she asked, still grumpy, but I could see her anger fading.

"Humor me," I said softly.

I could see the resolve in her eyes fade away. She tried to glare at me for using that tactic, but I merely grinned back. "Fine!" She surrendered. "I'll go quietly. But you'll see. I'm way overdue for more bad luck. I'll probably break my other leg. Look at this shoe! It's a death trap!" She stuck her foot out, the sequins on the ribbons of the stilettos sparkling every which way.

It was beautiful, no matter what she claimed about her balance issues. "Hmm…" I trailed off as I followed the laced-up ribbons, up her leg, before my eyes met the hem of her dress and I looked away, not wanting to be any less than gentlemanly. "Remind me to thank Alice for that," I mumbled.

"Alice is going to be there?"

"With Jasper and Emmett." I paused. "And Rosalie."

Bella sighed, lost in her own thoughts.

I knew my…girlfriend and Rosalie weren't on very good terms, but it was hardly like Rosalie to miss a prom, and tonight was no different. According to Emmett's thoughts, he had reserved a hotel room at the only hotel in town, like so many of the other hormonal high school students, to keep up a part of the human charade.

Rosalie still wasn't on speaking terms with me, but I knew anyway, from her mind. She still begrudged me for bringing Bella out of our lives.

"Is Charlie in on this?" Bella's voice drew me out of my reverie.

"Of course," I said. "Apparently Tyler wasn't, though," I added with satisfaction.

The thoughts of the couples were starting to reach me; we were very close to the school now. I pressed a bit harder on the gas and we were pulling into the parking lot in no time.

_Look at the little pet human, still on Edward's arm._

I clenched my jaw at Rosalie's thoughts.

_Relax, Edward, relax, _Jasper told me, trying to shoot waves of calm across the distance. They never reached me; he was already inside the school.

As soon as I parked, I was out of the car and at Bella's side, opening her door. She glared and refused to budge. I held out one hand, but she ignored it. I considered picking her up and carrying her out, but that would cause quite the scene, indeed.

"When someone wants to kill you, you're brave as a lion – and then when someone mentions dancing . . ." I shook my head in mock surprise. Then in a more sincere tone, "Bella, I won't let anything hurt you, not even yourself. I won't let go of you once. I promise."

She looked up at me timidly, and I smiled. I was hoping to soothe some of her anxiety. Her face eventually loosened and relaxed.

My hand brushed her cheek lightly. "There, now…it won't be so bad," I promised. I picked her up and set her down gently on the ground. Her leg still wasn't completely healed, so I held onto her waist tightly as she grasped my hand.

The proms at Forks were hopelessly cliché. Balloons, garlands, big posters on the walls, dimmed lights—through my amusement, I frowned a little. Bella deserved more than to dance under ugly fluorescent lights.

Bella giggled. "This looks like a horror movie waiting to happen," she commented.

"Well, there _are _more than enough vampires present," I said wryly as I slapped down the money for our tickets.

I pulled Bella with me and brought her in the cleared center of the gym, where only the two inhuman couples were dancing.

Alice and Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett. They were all dancing, and Rosalie's mind was nasty and superficial, smiling smugly at her beauty. Everyone else's minds, however, were filled with love for one another. The human minds were self-conscious with a hint of envy.

When my eyes fell to Bella, who was looking at me shyly, she was the only one on my mind. Her eyes quickly turned teasing.

"Do want me to bolt the doors so you can massacre the unsuspecting townsfolk?" she joked.

Though I knew it was out of humor, I was still gloomy at her casual reference to what I was. "And where do you fit into that scheme?"

"Oh," she said, looking at me playfully. "I'm with the vampires, of course."

It was hard to stay upset at Bella for an extended duration of time. "Anything to get out of dancing." I joined in with the joking.

"Anything," she agreed.

I held her arm and guided her onto the empty space on the floor. She held onto my arm and flinched back.

"I've got all night," I told her and wrapped her arms around mine.

"Edward, I honestly can't dance!"

Her fear was real, and I stifled a chuckle. "Don't worry, silly, I can." Quickly, I slid my feet so that the very tips of her toes were barely touching the tip of my shoe. As soon as she was situated, I began to dance.

Watching Bella's hair flow around her on a turn, or her pink-flushed cheeks as I gazed upon her face was worth dying a hundred times for. I looked at her adoringly and she looked back, uncomprehending.

"I…I feel like I'm five years old," she said quietly, with a laugh.

She flushed in embarrassment and I brought my face closer to hers and inhaled deeply. "You don't look five," I assured her. I picked her up briefly so that her face was level with mine, and then I set her back down again.

Dancing with Bella was the most natural movement ever. Her arms looped around my neck perfectly, and my hands rested on her waist.

A scent met my nose, a scent that triggered the instinct to fight.

_Please don't let her be here, please don't let her be here…_

Jasper and Emmett noticed this smell, too, though they stayed calm and composed.

"Okay, this isn't half bad," Bella said, oblivious to my reaction.

And then _he _arrived, pausing in the doorway. _This is so awkward! I don't even go to this school. The things I do for my dad. Oh God, there she is! And with that Cullen. What am I supposed to do?_

"What is it?" Bella asked. She followed my gaze and gasped when she saw Jacob.

Her eyes flew wide in shock, but then quickly composed herself again.

_She _is _pretty tonight, though…wonder how she's dancing with Cullen? Apparently they never attend social functions. Never._

Oh, so now I was being accused for merely trying to make Bella's life an ordinary human one. Of course prom was an absolute must. A growl reverberated deep in my chest, and Bella jabbed me with her elbow. "Behave!" she scolded me.

_But if this works…and she breaks up with him…well, I don't suppose I'd have my chance with her? Maybe Dad is right…or…well, I have no wish to mess with that big brother of his, anyway._

"He wants to…chat with you," I muttered.

Bella's eyes were glued on Jacob, who finally reached us. "Hey, Bella." He tried to grin. _Oh God, oh God, so embarrassing, I wish a hole would swallow me up…_ "I was hoping you'd be here." _Bullshit._

Her reaction to him was to smile the largest, most dazzling smile yet, this evening. "Hi, Jacob! What's up?"

Jacob looked at me cautiously. _Don't get mad, don't get mad! _"Can I cut in?"

I reached behind my back, unlaced Bella's fingers, and released her arms. Silently, I stepped back, warning the boy with my eyes.

"Thanks," he said softly before resting his arms on her hips.

I backed up to the food table, and poured some…punch, was it? I held the paper cup up to my lips as if I were drinking but did not ingest a drop.

I took this time to survey the floor, while keeping an ear on their conversation.

Tyler had never shown up, I noted with satisfaction. Mike Newton seemed to settle for Jessica, and she was eyeing me with a sickeningly obsessive expression while Mike was gazing at Bella with longing.

Their situation was so strange, I found myself chuckling despite myself.

In a corner, Ben and Angela were dancing, albeit awkwardly, because of Angela's height. I was glad to see that my previous interference from months ago was still intact; they were gazing at each other with an expression one could only call love. Their thoughts, too, were so altered from the usual high school thoughts of lust and status through dating.

"…wants you to break up with your boyfriend."

My full attention snapped back to Bella and Jacob, now simply shifting their weights on the floor. Angry with myself for not paying more attention, I listened closely now.

_She's going to yell at me now. Mortifying…_

"He's still superstitious, eh?" Bella kept her voice light.

I nearly smacked myself on the head. What was I doing, eavesdropping on their conversation? It was obviously meant to be private, and I was listening in, whether I was aware or not. I berated myself for not having more trust in Bella, trust that she would stay loyal to me.

Forcing myself not to listen to another word, I leaned against the wall until I saw the other couples stop moving. Inferring that the song had ended, I was eager to have Bella back in my arms.

"…or can I help you get somewhere?" Jacob asked, a little too eager to help.

"That's all right, Jacob. I'll take it from here."

I had obviously taken him by surprise, for he nearly jumped and turned around. "Hey," he mumbled. "I didn't see you there." He turned to Bella. "I guess I'll see you around, Bella."

He most certainly would not.

"Yeah…I'll see you later," Bella said, flashing him a timid smile.

Jealousy ate at me, boiling my insides until I felt angry heat pulse through me.

The next song started as I placed my hands on her waist again. We were dancing to our own rhythm—no, to the steady beat of her heart, ignoring the music.

I breathed in and out slowly, trying to lose myself in Bella's warmth, her scent.

"Feeling better?" she asked slyly.

I sighed. "Not really," I admitted.

"Don't be mad at Billy," she murmured. "He just worries about me for Charlie's sake; it's nothing personal."

"I'm not mad at Billy, but his son is irritating me."

Her eyes flickered toward me before she asked, "Why?"

"First of all, he made me break my promise," I growled.

Confusion was on her face. Her lips' corners twisted in opposite directions—her "puzzled" face—and I couldn't help but smile gently.

"I promised I wouldn't let go of you tonight," I reminded her.

"Oh," she said, comprehending. "Well…I forgive you."

"Thanks," I sighed. "But there's something else. He called you_ pretty_," I snarled, spitting out the word. "That's practically an _insult_, the way you look right now…you're much more than beautiful."

She laughed, but the sound was disbelieving. "You might be a _little _biased."

All right, perhaps, but judging from the scattered thoughts from the males in the room tonight, I wasn't the only one who thought she was beautiful. Even Jasper and Emmett agreed, in their thoughts.

"I don't think that's it," I argued. "Besides, I have excellent eyesight."

For a few moments, we swayed in silence. I waged an internal war against myself, for I wanted to have a little heart-to-heart talk with my Bella, but I was unsure of what she would think of it.

"So…are you going to explain the reason for all this?"

_Reason for what? _my eyes asked.

She jabbed her chin in the direction of the balloon arches.

It was as if fate had given me this opportunity to talk with her as soon as I hosted the very notion of it.

I spun her around the other way, past the other couples, and right out of the gym. As soon as we were in the dark, I picked her up and ran to a grove of trees near the forest, and sat her down gently on a bench. I sat next to her, and she leaned against me, torturing me with her lifeblood, and I stared up in the sky, trying to distract myself.

Only the slightest bit of sunshine was hovering in the west. The sun had already set, leaving its ghost behind. Above us, the pale moon was shining, its light weak and frail.

Yet, it gave me a sense of peace.

"The point?" Bella whispered, bringing my attention back.

I deliberately refrained from looking at her. Talking without any distractions would be much better. Instead, my eyes were trained on the moon, my gaze unbreakable.

"Twilight again," I said quietly, sadly. "Another ending. No matter how perfect the day is…it always has to end."

I could feel Bella stiffen in my arms. "_Some_ things don't have to end," she argued.

She didn't understand. Everything, absolutely _everything_ had to end. One day, my existence would end. Her existence would also end. Carlisle, Esme, Emmett, Alice…everyone would end. The world would end. There was no exception.

Finally, after a long, drawn-out pause, I answered her previous question.

"I brought you to prom," I said, choosing my words carefully, "because I don't want you to miss anything. I don't want my presence to take anything away from you, if I can help it. I want you to be human." The volume of my voice dropped, and I urged her to understand. "I want your life to continue as it would have if…if I'd died in nineteen-eighteen like I should have."

She flinched, her eyes sad. Quickly, she snapped out of it and started taking over the conversation. "In what strange parallel dimension would I _ever_ have gone to prom of my own free will?" she asked, all self-righteous. "If you weren't a thousand times stronger than me, I would never have let you get away with this!"

I could feel the corner of my mouth pull up slightly, but it wasn't a happy smile. "It wasn't so bad," I whispered. "You said so yourself."

"That's because I was with _you_," she answered, in a "stating-the-obvious" voice.

Having nothing to say, we both fell back into silence. My eyes drifted back into the sky, and I was aware of Bella's eyes on me. She was looking up at me, quizzically, and I had an urge to break the silence.

"Will you tell me something?" I rushed out, looking back down at her. I frantically searched through my mind for a question to ask, and finally found one fitting.

"Don't I always?" she countered.

"Just promise you'll tell me."

She huffed, crossing her arms, pouting in such an adorable fashion. "Fine."

"You seemed honestly…surprised when you figured out that I was taking you here."

"I _was_," she interrupted.

"Exactly. But you must have had some other theory," I pressed. "I'm curious. What did you think I was dressing you up for?" I fought a grin. This answer was sure to be amusing, if Bella was thinking of it.

She rolled her eyes at me. "I don't want to tell you," she declared.

"You promised."

"I know."

"What's the problem?"

She bit her lip, deliberating. "I think it will make you mad…or sad," she finally answered.

Mad or sad? Well, that didn't sound like what I might've had in mind. Curiosity sprang even wilder now, and I was dying to know what was happening in her mind.

She exhaled. "Well, I assumed it was some kind of occasion. But I didn't think it would be some trite _human_ thing. Prom!"

_Human_.

A sense of dread filled me as I inferred what she was hinting at. "Human?" I mumbled, unable to ask much more.

Her fingers fidgeted with her dress while I waited, nearly hyperventilating with the need to know.

"OkaysoIwashopingyoumighthavechangedyourmind," she finally rushed out. "That you were going to change me, after all."

My worst fears were confirmed, bringing back the questions raised long ago.

Bella as a vampire, crimson-eyed, strong, graceful, and almost seductive. A trail of blood, dripping from the corner of her mouth.

No. No, no, no. I would never do it to her. Never.

She was looking at my tortured expression, and I quickly smoothed my face into a slightly amused mask.

Trying to play it off as a joke, I tried to tease her. "You thought that would be a black tie occasion, did you?" I touched my lapel.

She frowned at me, but her beautiful blush gave her away. "I don't know how these things work," she defended herself. "To me, at least, it seems more rational than prom does."

Black tie at a transformation? I couldn't help the amused grin crossing my face at the mere thought.

"It's not funny!" she fumed.

That was true, at least. My grin dropped from my face. "You're right," I whispered. "It's not. I'd rather treat it as a joke, though, than to believe you're…serious."

"But I am serious—"

"I know." I didn't need to be able to read her mind to know that every word she spoke regarding this, she spoke with conviction, with surety. "And you're really _that _willing?" To my absolute horror, I half-hoped she would say yes.

Seeing my expression, she clamped her mouth shut and nodded slowly.

"So ready for this to be the end. For this to be the twilight of your life, though your life has barely started," I said quietly, gazing at her. She stared back, uncomprehending of what she had just confirmed. She couldn't know. She couldn't know the pain of having to refrain from killing. She couldn't know the empty feeling of being lifeless.

And so help me God, I would make sure she would never know.

"You're ready to give up everything."

"It's not the end," she argued. "It's the beginning."

Her eyes fought with mine, willing me to understand. "I'm not worth it," I whispered. Her hands clenched into fists at my self-pity. And self-piteous I was. I should be back in that gym, twirling her around, making sure she was having the time of her life. Instead, I was moping to her about how I would deny her immortality.

When she spoke again, her voice was sharp. "Do you remember when you told me that I didn't see myself very clearly?" she asked rhetorically. "You obviously have the same blindness!"

Ah, but the situation was so different, the comparison couldn't even be made in my mind. "I _know _what I _am_," I said.

She sighed again, going limp against my chest.

Impossible. If she were faced with the real choice of a normal, human life or being a vampire, a monster, forever, she would surely choose mortality.

I tilted her face toward me and gazed into her eyes, shining in the moonlight. She gazed back, love—and was it adoration?—in them.

If only the moment would never end. I leaned down to whisper in her ear. "You're ready now, then?" I asked, hearing her heart speed up at those words.

"Um…yes?" It came out as a question.

I smiled. Uncertainty. Just a seed of doubt, and my work would be done. I placed my hand between her shoulder blades and leaned her head back, leaving her neck exposed.

I shouldn't have.

The temptation of that beautiful, milky, pale skin, with crimson blood flowing underneath, was too much to bear. Swallowing the spurt of venom that had risen in my mouth, I leant forward until I could trail my nose and my lips up and down her jaw.

"Right now?"

"Yes!" she whispered urgently, her body stiff, her pulse faster than ever.

I leaned forward still, but she just blinked.

She said nothing to object.

Was she truly serious? Oh, how I wished I could see into her mind! This was a cruel way of testing her. Bringing her hopes up and then pulling the rug from underneath her.

"You can't really believe that I would give in so easily," I said bitterly.

She closed her eyes. "A girl can dream," she said ever so quietly, disappointment soaking in every syllable.

"Is that what you…dream about?" I asked, truly pained. "Being a monster?"

Her lips pressed together in a thin line. "Not exactly. Mostly I dream about being with you. Forever."

Forever.

She wanted me.

Forever.

I felt the angry mask slip off my face as I looked into her shining eyes. She was sincere. I had no doubt about it now. I placed both hands on her face and brought it up toward me. Her breath caught in her throat.

"Bella," I said, tracing my fingertips on her lips, her eyelids, her cheeks, her chin… "I _will_ stay with you." _Until you die,_ I thought, but I couldn't say it. "Isn't that enough?"

I could feel her lips curl up at my attempt to let her give it up. "Enough for now," she said stubbornly, cheekily.

A growl escaped my throat as she crossed her arms, refusing to surrender. Her eyes traveled briefly to my lips, and back to my eyes. Her small hand reached up to stroke my cheek, and my eyelids fluttered at the very sensation. "Look, I love you more than anything else in the world combined," she said. "Isn't that enough?"

_I love you._

Those words meant more to me than anything else. They echoed in my mind. _I love you. I love you. I love you._

"Yes, it is enough," I murmured, gazing into her wonderful angel's face. "Enough for forever."

I stroked the sides of her slender neck and kissed the hollow of her throat.

There were just us tonight. No one else existed.

This was our world.

**

* * *

**

AN: YAY!!! Okay, so I'm going back to China this summer and I won't have that much time to start a new story, so I'm going to post some one-shots. Don't take me off story alert; I'm going to be putting updates about the one-shots.

**Thanks to all of you who have reviewed; one more for the last chapter? Please?**

**SEE YOU SOON IN THE HILARIOUS ONE-SHOTS!!!**


	17. AN: ONESHOT, The Sex Talk

**AN: Very short, but I thought it was slightly funny. It's hard to convey awkward moments in writing, but I tried! And pretend that, toward the end, Edward is very clueless. Just pretend.**

"Nessie, sit down," I said quietly. My six-year-old, looking like a beautiful young teenager, plopped right in Jake's lap. Jake smiled and wrapped his arms around her.

Edward sighed beside me.

I lifted my shield briefly. _Edward! You start, you start. This is so embarrassing._

"All right, Nessie," he began. "We know you're still…pretty young, I suppose, but this conversation needs to take place. Now, I know that you haven't been to school long enough to learn about this, so we're not going to beat around the bush."

Wow. Always precise and to the point. That was my Edward.

"Yes. I'm just going to lay it all out on the table. No use in stalling or delaying it. We are going to have an honest heart-to-"

"Just spit it out," I grumbled under my breath.

Before Edward could say anything else, Nessie snapped her fingers and a smile appeared on her face. "Oh! I get it! You're trying to give me the sex talk!"

_"You did NOT!!!"_ Edward hissed, glaring at Jake, who had a ridiculous grin on his face. "You did _NOT _give _MY _daughter the _SEX TALK!!!_"

What?!

"Jake, did you seriously do that?" I asked despairingly. "You seriously lectured her on that? As if we don't know you're just dying to—"

Edward interrupted me. "Just let me handle this. I promise to be cool and collected," he reassured me.

Turning around, he started shouting. "WHY DID YOU DO THAT? I THOUGHT WE ALL AGREED THAT WHEN IT CAME TIME, BELLA AND I WOULD TELL NESSIE! NOT YOU!"

Nessie giggled. "Jake was thorough, though. He should teach sex ed!"

Okay, my beautiful, wonderful, angelic little daughter did _not_ just say that.

"Renesmee Carlie Cullen, _what_ did you say?" I asked dangerously. Of course, I had a maternal instinct somewhere inside me, and it just flared up.

"I said that Jake shoul—"

"—teach sex ed? Nice, Nessie!" Emmett bellowed, flinging open the door.

Edward and I just glared at him.

"Whoa, whoa, what's with all the tension?"

I slammed my fist down, effectively smashing the table I slammed it against. "Emmett, butt out, or so help me God, I will rip you apart and leave you disassembled for a week!"

He just smirked. "You and which army?" he retorted, plopping down on the sofa. "Bring it, little sis!"

Edward cleared his throat. "Excuse me, but if you two are done…Bella, you're not a newborn anymore. Emmett, quit goading her."

"Yes, sir," we both replied sarcastically.

Edward sighed. "Anyway, Jacob, go through the whole entire conversation. Don't miss a single word, or I will sic Emmett on _you_, mutt."

"All right, all right!" Jake held his hands up in surrender and knit his eyebrows together, running through the conversation again, no doubt. Emmett was slightly crouched, looking as if he would jump at Edward's command.

"Okay, that's right, mm-hmm…what the hell?!" Edward's expression suddenly changed from calm and composed to dark, frightening, and challenging.

I tugged on his arm to calm him down slightly. "What? What'd Jake say to Nessie? Was it bad?"

"Damn right it was bad," Edward mumbled. "He told Nessie, in short, 'everything he wanted to do to her'."

Did not!

"It doesn't matter," Nessie piped up. "Jake's really hot!"

"And how would you know, young lady?" Emmett asked with a grin.

"Well, when Jake phases with the pack, they tend to go naked for a few seconds, and I've seen him naked tons of times. I've also seen the rest of the guys naked, too," she continued happily, oblivious to Edward and my ominous expressions. "They can't compare to Jake. He's really big!"

"Thanks, baby," Jake said, grinning and blushing, planting a kiss on the back of Nessie's neck.

"Emmett!" I yelled. "GET HIM OUT OF HERE NOW!"

He fake-saluted. "Hut-hut, ma'am," he joked.

"Uh-oh," Jacob muttered. He set Nessie down gently, then leapt out of our door and phased right outside, Emmett on his heels.

Nessie glared at me and burst into tears **(AN: let's pretend half-vampires **_**can**_** do that)**. "Mom!" she yelled. "Why'd you do that?! You sent Jake away!"

"Well, sweetie," I tried to reason.

"Don't you 'sweetie' me! I think Jake's a better explainer anyway! You and Dad had me when Dad was still a teen! Come on! Hello, teenage pregnancy!"

Edward, having often been teased for being younger than I, stayed silent in a puddle of embarrassment.

Nessie bolted out of the door.

I sighed. "Well, what are we going to do now?"

Edward crossed his arms. "Don't worry," he grouched. "Emmett, Jacob and Nessie are at Jacob's house, playing video games."

I snorted. "Let's get them back. We have to finish THE talk."

Holding hands, we followed their trail, down to Jacob's small house in the reservation.

We stopped short when we heard Nessie' and Jacob's voices, making some extremely scary, strained, and - dare I say? - erotic sounds.

"Ugh! Jake! More, more, more, more!" I heard my baby girl say.

Then came Jake's voice: "Mmm...Ness, you're so tight...ugh...I love you, so much...."

Edward's face turned furious. "They're blocking me out!" he hissed. "I bet they thought they'd get away with this! Well, let's see! Apparently Emmett can't be trusted to carry out any task. If Jacob Black actually...." He didn't finish, but knocked the door over. "COVER UP WHAT YOU DON'T WANT SEEN!" he yelled, eyes squeezed shut. "RENESMEE, _COME HERE!_ YOU ARE GROUNDED, YOUNG LADY! GROUNDED! AND JACOB, STAY AWAY OR WE'LL MAKE SURE YOU'LL BE LAYING DOWN FOR DAYS!"

When I peeked around, I exploded in laughter, as did Emmett, Nessie, and Jake. They were laying on their stomachs, holding video game controls, and enjoying the expression on Edward's face as he realized what had just happened.

"Well, well, well!" Jake gloated, towering above Edward (truly, he was a giant. He was even taller than Emmett!). "The mind-reading bloodsucker is fooled! I never thought I'd see the day!"

**AN: Crappy, I know, but still...**


	18. AN: Name change & new oneshot ideas!

Hey everyone! Just to let you know, I changed my name!

And which of the next ideas do you like next for a one-shot?

1) Cullens go to an amusement park, but then are discovered and have to have help from Harry Potter & co. (random characters from some other series)

2) Bella has a hard life and wants to commit suicide but Edward saves her.

3) Cullens try to survive their first day at Hogwarts. (specify which House you want any of them to go to)


	19. AN: NEW ONESHOT Title is too long

**New oneshot, _Fangs and Wands at the Amusement Park_, is up!**

**No stories for a while, starting from now. Sorry! I'm leaving for China in two days.**


	20. I have had it with this angela!

Okay, "angela", stop being such a bitch. Seriously. Stop criticizing my stories long after they've been completed, Miss Harvard. And also, "what the fucking god" and "you bitchy idiot" don't sit well with me. If you have some problem with my stories, DON'T READ THEM and therefore make my life a hell of a lot easier. You're such a coward, you know that? Yeah, anonymous flares make you seem like one. Get a goddamn account so we could further this unintelligent situation privately.

So, I-have-an-IQ-of-200, stop reading my stories, stop clicking on any links leading to my profile or stories, and for the love of God, STOP REVIEWING! My God, you are one stupid woman. Did you bribe them for you to be accepted into Harvard? You honestly could not figure out that you could just stop reading my story and content yourself with stories which I'm sure are much better, to you? Stop being so immature and leaving criticisms with no core. You just call me a bitchy idiot and say that my stories suck. Wow.

And for the rest of you, thank you very much for sitting with me throughout my tirade. I have had it with this "angela" person, but I have no problems with the rest of you. And I'm sorry that you've had to endure my temper tantrum due to the immaturity of "angela".


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